


Got a Light?

by eelisabethh



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Divorce, Domestic Violence, Drinking to Cope, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friendship/Love, Protective Jim "Chief" Hopper, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-02-14 19:25:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 46,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13014540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eelisabethh/pseuds/eelisabethh
Summary: Valerie moves to Hawkins with her husband Daniel. In such a small town, it doesn't take long before a certain Chief finds out what kind of a man this Daniel really is. Valerie stands her ground, claiming she can handle it. Hopper just wants to help her. Will she let him?





	1. First Meeting

“Got a light?” I asked the only other person outside the bar. It took him a couple of seconds to realize that, yes, it was him I was talking to. “Uh, yeah, just a second.” He put his cigarette between his lips, and searched his pockets. “Here you go”, he said, handing me his lighter. It was a little windy, so when I eventually managed to light my cigarette, I took a long drag, held my breath for a few seconds before I let it out while giving him the lighter back.

“Thanks”, I mumbled, and curled in on myself, trying to keep out the cold. Despite being strangers, the silence between us seemed awkward, and I was internally debating whether or not I should introduce myself. Then he disappeared back inside, and I sighed in relief before I remembered that I was going back inside, too, once finished with my cigarette.

“Get it together”, I mumbled to myself when I stomped my cigarette on the ground, and then I opened the door to the bar. What I registered first was how nice the warmth felt; my fingers were frozen after the few minutes out in the cold. I sat down on a barstool, and the bartender came over almost immediately, as there weren’t really that many people there that night. “What can I get for you?” she asked, smiling. I thought quickly. “A strong gin and tonic”, I decided upon, and the bartender cheerily nodded before getting started on making it.

When she placed it in front of me, I was about to take a sip, but then I saw my purse slide off the side of the stool. “Oh, shit”, I muttered, got off the stool, bent down and picked it up. I reached out for my drink, brought it to my mouth, but someone stopped me from taking a sip.

“Don’t drink that”, the man from outside said, taking my drink away from me. “What? What are you doing?” I asked, a little offended that he just took my drink. He sat down next to me, and I stared confused at him. “Lean in, I’m gonna whisper something”, he explained. I was about to protest, but the sincerity and seriousness on his face made me listen. “That guy who was sitting on your left made your purse fall down, and put something in your drink while you weren’t looking. He’s most likely somewhere close outside, just waiting for you to come stumbling out, and I’m guessing you know what happens next.”

When he leaned away, I had a horrified look on my face. “Shit… I— thank you. That almost makes me sick. But, jeez, I should’ve noticed! How did you pick up on that?” I rambled, stressing about what almost happened. “I’m a cop. And he was staring at you for a while before you went out for a smoke”, he explained, and I nodded slowly.

“Well, thank you, again, uh…” I hesitated, realizing I didn’t even know his name. “Jim Hopper”, he filled in the blank, and I smiled. “Thank you, Jim Hopper. I’m Valerie Barron.”

“No problem at all, Valerie Barron. Just call me Hopper. Everyone does. You new in town? I haven’t seen you around before I think.”

“Yeah, moved here a couple of weeks ago. Haven’t really been out until now”, I smiled, pleased that I was perhaps making a friend in this town.

“I see. How do you like it here?”

“Seems like a nice town. I’ve spent most of my time unpacking and settling in in the new house, so I haven’t seen that much of Hawkins yet.”

“I could, uhh… give you a little tour, if you want. Tomorrow afternoon, maybe? I get off at five”, he suggested, making me smile. My husband, Daniel, would be out of town tomorrow. Not that this was anything romantic, but he gets so easily jealous.

“Yeah, that sounds good. I work at that bookstore just down the street. I get off at five as well.”

“Good. Good, I’ll pick you up there then.”

“I’m looking forward to it.”

We kept up the light conversation, and before you know it; it was 1:30 in the morning. I almost fell off my stool when I realized the time.

“Shit! I better head home. I need to get up early”, I exclaimed, trying to hide my panic. “Yeah, me too”, Hopper realized, and got up. I put my jacket on, pulling it tight around my body to prepare for the cold.

“How are you getting home?” Hopper asked, holding the door open for me. “My house is just a ten minute walk from here”, I told him, knowing Daniel wouldn’t like a stranger dropping me off. He shook his head. “I could give you a ride”, he said, sounding determined. “Oh, no, I’m fine, I don’t want to bother you with that”, I brushed it off, knowing that I would make it just fine back home. “I really don’t want you walking all alone in the middle of the night. Please, let me give you a ride.”

I studied his face for a few seconds, checking if he was just insisting to be nice, but he actually looked a little worried. “Fine”, I gave in, smiling, and followed him to his truck. The fact that it was a police car made me smirk, and I got in the passenger seat. The truck started smoothly. “Where do you live?” he asked. “Just follow that road”, I explained pointing to the left. He nodded, and then drove off down the street. The movements of the car almost lulled me to sleep, but I did my best to stay awake, or else he wouldn’t know where to drive.

“Tired?” he asked me, having seen me let out a big yawn.

“Very”, I laughed, “you?”

“Yeah, I’ll be out like a light when I get home”, he chuckled.

“You can just drop me off at that corner.”

“This one here?”

“Yeah, that’s good.”

“This where you live?”

“No, just a couple houses up the street. I wanna get some air before I go to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow, Hopper. Thank you so much for the ride, I’m sorry to be a trouble.”

“Don’t worry about it. Like I said, I wouldn’t want you wandering the streets alone at 1:30 in the morning.”

I smiled fondly. We both said our goodbyes, and then I hurried to the door, unlocked it as fast as I could, wanting to get out of the cold wind.

Once inside, I let out a content sigh. I was worried about becoming isolated in a small town like Hawkins, but at least now I knew of one person. And he was going to show me around. I’d call that a good start. But Daniel couldn’t know. Not yet at least.

Speak of the devil.

“Hey, Val! ‘s that you, honey?” he slurred from the living room. I let out a deep sigh, before answering.

“Yeah, it is. Why are you still up?”

“Why am I still up? Could it maybe be because my wife just disappeared for hours without telling me why?” His voice was calm, but I recognized his tone. He was angry, and drunk. Never a good combination. I heard his footsteps approach me. He kissed me.

“I just went out for a walk to get to know the area. Lost track of time. Sorry, Dan.”

He towered over me, my back against the wall. His hands traced lightly over my cheek, down my neck, over my chest, and he grabbed my waist. “It’s alright. Just don’t do it again”, he grumbled, his face just an inch away from mine, and his grip on my waist just a little too tight.

“I won’t. Promise”, I smiled, and then yawned. “I need to get ready for bed. I’m tired.” After placing a short kiss on his cheek, he let me pass, and I bee-lined for the bedroom, desperate for some sleep.

Work went by quickly the next day, and when there were five minutes left of my shift, there weren’t any customers, so I went into the backroom to get ready to leave.

“Bye, Cynthia!” I called out to my colleague before I went out the door. It was significantly colder than when I had left home earlier that day. A strong wind and a little rain got me cold in the matter of minutes, and I was hoping Hopper would be there soon.

Hopper’s car pulled up after about 15 minutes. He leaned over, and opened the passenger door. “Hey, Valerie. C’mon, get in”, he greeted me, and I walked over. “Hey! How was your day?” I asked, putting my seatbelt on.

“Relatively quiet, I’d say. How was yours?”

“It was nice! But could you please turn up the heat?” I asked, hiding my hands inside the sleeves of my jacket. He did so at once, and checked the time as well.

“Shit, I didn’t realize I was late. I’m sorry, were you standing outside for long?”

“Oh. No, just a few minutes. I just get cold easily”, I smiled, making sure he wasn’t fussing over me. “So where are we going?” I asked lightheartedly.

“I’m starving, so I was thinking we could grab some food first?”

“Yes, please. I haven’t eaten since breakfast!” I realized, and acknowledged the emptiness of my stomach, longing for food.

“No lunch break?” he asked, removing his eyes from the road for just a second, and cast a glance at me.

“Forgot my lunch at home. I wasn’t hungry at lunch, so I didn’t bother getting any food”, I explained, and laughed slightly at the thought of how many times that had happened before. I could be quite forgetful, especially in the morning. I was not a morning person.

“Here we are”, Hopper said, and the car came to a stop outside a place called “Benny’s Burgers”. It looked like the typical diner. Perfect. Burgers would be perfect.

We got out of the car, and I hurried to the door so I wouldn’t have to stay outside for any longer than necessary. I walked inside, Hopper right behind me, and there were only a few people there.

“Hey, Benny!” Hopper called out, and a man walked over to us from behind the counter. “Hey, Hop! Good to see you. Who do you have with you?”, he smiled, and looked at me. I put my hand out, and Benny grabbed it. “I’m Valerie. I just moved here, and Hopper offered to show me around town”, I told him. “Nice to meet you, Valerie. I’m Benny.” He gestured for us to sit down in a booth, and brought us two menus.

“Everything looks delicious. You have any recommendations?” I asked after having scanned the menu. I wasn’t picky when it came to food. “I always get the bacon cheeseburger and some fries. It’s delicious”, Hopper answered while taking his hat off. “I’ll have that, then”, I let him know. I expected him to wave Benny over to us, so I jumped slightly in my seat when his voice suddenly roared across the diner.

“Benny! I’ll have the usual, and she’ll have the same!” He then looked at me. “What do you want to drink?” he asked, and I thought quickly. “Coke”, I decided. “And two cokes!”

“You got it, Chief!” Benny yelled on his way into the kitchen. “He’s sweet. How long have you known him?” I asked to get the conversation going.

“A long time. We both grew up here, so he’s just been one of those people who’s always been there, you know?”

“Yeah. It’s nice to have someone like that.”

“Where did you grow up?”

“Chicago. Kind of a shithole”, I laughed. “I was supposed to go to college in New York, but… Yeah, I never got around to it.” I was a bit ashamed that all I had was a high school diploma. But, I made it work the best I could.

“What happened? Or do you not want to talk about it? If you don’t, that's fine—”

“I got pregnant”, I admitted, seeing no reason to hide it.

“You have kids?” he asked, and I wasn’t able to read his facial expression.

“No. I, uh… She died. Choked by the umbilical cord”, I said with a weak smile.

Hopper was about to say something, but Benny walked over. “Here you go, guys. Hope you like it, Valerie”, he smiled when he put my food down, and I thanked him.

“Do you have kids?” I asked carefully. He picked up his burger, took a bite, and just shook his head. I decided not to press on the matter, and went for my own burger.

“This is really good”, I said, my mouth full of food, to lighten the mood. I earned a small chuckle from Hopper. That was good enough for me.

We finished our food, and sat talking for a while, both of us careful to not say anything wrong. Then Hopper called Benny over so we could pay. I fished up my wallet from my purse.

“No, no, put that away. I’ll pay”, Hopper protested.

“Hopper, no, that makes me feel bad.”

“Relax. This is my treat. Call it a welcome gift if that makes you feel better. Now put your wallet away. That’s an order from the Chief”, he joked.

“Fine”, I laughed, “but don’t think you’re getting away that easily. I’ll pay you back sometime.”

“Don’t worry about it”, he assured me, and I smiled fondly. Still, I’d probably slip some money into his pocket sometime.

Hopper paid, and we chatted briefly with Benny before heading back out to his car. We drove around town; him pointing out things I should know where are, and me trying to remember it all.

“That right there is the station. Don’t hesitate to go there and ask for me if you need anything”, he said when we drove past his workplace. After a while, I told him I was tired, and had to get up early tomorrow. The truth was that Daniel was due home in a little under an hour, and I didn’t want to risk him seeing me with Hopper.

“The corner is fine”, I said when we were close to my house. He looked like he wanted to protest, but stopped the car in the same spot as the day before. “Thank you so much for today. I had a great time, Hopper. I’ll see you around, I guess”, I smiled while unbuckling my seat belt and opening the door. “Yeah, no problem. See you around”, he said, and waved when he drove off.

I only got about 20 minutes of alone time before i heard a car come to a stop in the driveway. Followed by that, the front door opened, and Daniel called out. “Hey, Val, I’m home!” I got up from the couch. “How was your day?” I asked, leaning against the door frame between the hall and the living room. “Good. Hawkins Lab seems like a nice workplace. How was yours?”

I debated what to tell him. “Work was quiet. Then a girl I work with showed me around town, and we grabbed something to eat as well”, I lied. He didn’t know anyone I worked with, and I highly doubted he’d bring this up later, so it was a safe lie. He’d probably forget about it in five minutes. When he didn’t say anything else, I walked into the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea.

“What are you making?” Daniel asked.

“Tea.”

“Have a cup ready for me when I get out of the shower. I’ll be ten minutes, tops.”

“Yeah, sure.”

He disappeared up the stairs, and I grabbed another cup from the cupboard. I sat at the kitchen table, waiting for the water to boil, and when it did, I got the teabags out. Two sugars in his, and one sugar and a splash of milk in mine. I brought the cups to the living room, and a wet-haired Daniel appeared a couple of minutes later. He kissed me briefly before sitting down on the other end of the couch with his cup.

Finished with his tea, he sat close to me, tracing his hand up and down my thigh. “I want you”, he murmured into my ear. “Not right now, sweetheart. I want to sleep”, I protested quietly. “Oh, come on, don’t be a prude. Please, babe”, he spoke, and I felt his breath on my neck, followed by kisses. “Dan, tomorrow night, maybe”, I attempted, but he didn’t stop. “Please, Val.”

I didn’t say anything after that, I just went along with it. It lasted for just a few minutes, like always. He could never hold back for long. And then he fell asleep with his arm across my waist, snoring in the matter of minutes.


	2. Drowning Sorrows

The next couple of weeks I didn’t see much of Hopper. We ran into each other a couple of times in town, and talked a little, but no more than that. Well, that was until he showed up at our house.

“Daniel, stop it! Calm down, the neighbors are gonna hear!”

“Shut the fuck up, Val! You’re an ungrateful brat, and you never listen to me!”

“I never listen to you? I cook what you want for dinner! I make you tea when you ask! I do your laundry! I—”

“You didn’t come home when I told you to!”

“I was at _work_ , Da—”

A knock at the door interrupted our argument, and I hurried to answer it. “Hopper?” I asked confused when I had flung the door open. His professional expression faltered for a second. “Mrs. Barron”, he addressed me.

“Why are you here?” I wondered.

“Someone called and reported screaming. Is everything okay here?”

“Everything’s okay here, officer”, Daniel shot in, placing a hand on my shoulder, and looked at Hopper with a fake smile.

“It’s Chief”, Hopper corrected him, unamused.

“Alright, _Chief_ , as I said; everything is fine. Just a stupid argument. Isn’t that right, honey?”

“Yeah. Yeah, nothing to worry about. Sorry to be of inconvenience. Have a nice day”, I smiled, closing the door on Hopper. Daniel walked into the living room, but I noticed Hopper had stopped the door.

“You sure you’re fine? I can help if—”

“I’m fine, Hopper. I’ll see you around.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” And at that I silently closed the door, but not before he could hand me a note with his number written on it.

“You sleep on the couch tonight”, Daniel spat when he saw me. I rolled my eyes and groaned, but didn’t speak back. It wouldn’t lead anywhere. Besides, I would get some nice alone time. I hurried up the stairs, and grabbed my duvet and pillow while Daniel was brushing his teeth, and then hurried back downstairs.

I lied down with my copy of _1984_ , and read until I could barely keep my eyes open. I used the note Hopper had given me as a bookmark. Sleep took over my body, and I dreamt of… Well, that got away from me not even five minutes after I woke up.

—

The bell rang, signalling that someone had entered the store. “Val?” a voice rung out. What was Daniel doing here?

“Daniel, what—”

“Who’s this, huh? Who are you seeing?” he hissed, showing me a note. It took me a couple of seconds to realize it was Hopper’s number.

“I’m not seeing anyone, that’s—”

“You’re a fucking slut, you know that? We’ve been in this town for, what, not even two months, and you’re already—”

“Don’t do this here, please. I have customers!”

“I don’t care, Val! I wanna know who the fuck this number belongs to!” He grabbed my arm, and I tried to pull away without making it look panicked to the other people in the store.

“Get off of me, it’s—”

“It’s my office number. Now, get your hands off her before I arrest you for assault”, a gruff voice said, and my eyes landed on Hopper who had entered the store sometime during the argument. After staring down Hopper for a few seconds, Daniel let go of my arm. I snatched the piece of paper from him.

“See, if you would just have let me talk”, I said in a low voice. 

“I’m sorry, Val—”

“Go home. I don’t wanna talk to you right now. I get off in a couple of hours. I’ll see you then, but in the meantime; go home, Daniel.”

He walked angrily out of the store. I brought my hands to my hair, and let out a deep breath. This wasn’t that bad of an argument, but I hated when he did things like that in public.

“Are you okay? Is he always like that?” a concerned Hopper asked. “He’s just insecure”, I explained, and turned to get back to work. “Hey”, he said, and grabbed hold of my arm. Instinctively, I pulled away harshly, but then I apologized. “Sorry. Adrenaline”, I said, not convincing him. 

“Can we talk privately?” he asked, a frown on his face. I nodded, and beckoned for him to follow me into the back room.

“I’m worried about you”, he began.

“Don’t be. I can handle him. I’ve been doing it for twelve years. It’s not that bad”, I assured him.

“Not that bad? If he’ll do something like this in public, what do you expect me to think he does when you’re in private?”

“Hopper, it’s fine. Don’t waste time on this. Go do your job.”

“I _am. This_ is my job, Val. To make sure that the people in Hawkins are safe.”

“Okay. I’m safe. Now, will you stop fussing?”

“No.”

I chuckled a little at that. “I have to get back to work”, I smiled, and stepped past him, out from the back room, back into the store. “Have a good day, Chief”, I said when he walked towards the door, and he tipped his hat before leaving. A small sigh of relief escaped my lips, and then I walked around the store, organizing wherever necessary, and helped customers when they needed it.

—

At the end of my shift, I was craving a cigarette so bad. Instead of driving home first, and then sit outside on the porch, I fished one from my purse the second I stepped outside. The nicotine calmed me down, and the chilly wind reddened my cheeks.

On my way home, I took a detour, just because, and when I drove past Benny’s I couldn’t resist, so I went in for a burger. However, I wasn’t counting on Hopper to be there. The second he spotted me, he called me over to his booth, and told me to sit.

Something was off. He was really drunk. “Hey, Hopper. You alright?” I attempted. He thought it through. “Perfect. Just perfect”, he slurred with a grin on his face. “Are you hungry?” I asked, noticing he had nothing in front of him. He was just sitting there. “Yeah. I’ll call for Benny—”

“No, I got it”, I interrupted him, smiling, “bacon cheeseburger, right?” He nodded, and looked down, his face suddenly a mix between sadness and confusion. I walked to the counter.

“Hey, Benny”, I greeted him.

“Hi, Valerie. What can I get you?”

“Two bacon cheeseburgers.”

“You got it.” He started walking towards the kitchen.

“Benny, wait”, I said, and he turned around. “Is Hopper okay?”

“Well, not exactly”, he spoke carefully. “His daughter. Sara. She died a few years back, and… sometimes he just gets blackout drunk to forget about it for a little while.”

My heart ached for the man. “Oh, no, that’s horrible. What happened?”

“Cancer. She was only about six years old.”

“I would be drinking, too”, I said, thinking about my own daughter. That broke me; I couldn’t function for months. Then multiply that pain a million times, and that’s what I imagined Hopper was dealing with. Benny smiled sympathetically, and went to make our food. I sat back down across from Hopper.

“Food’s ready in a few minutes”, I smiled carefully, deciding not to even mention his daughter, afraid of making it worse. “Thanks” he mumbled, fiddling with his wallet. We were quiet after that, And I just observed him. He seemed sombre; very understandable. But I still didn’t dare mention anything.

“Here you guys go”, Benny said, and put our food in front of. “Oh, I forgot. Could we have some water?” I asked. He nodded, and came back a minute later with a mug and two glasses. “Thank you”, I smiled.

I poured both our glasses. “You should drink some water. So the hangover won’t be so bad”, I advised. He grunted, but downed almost the entire glass at once, making me smirk. Not another word was uttered until we were both finished eating. Without letting him know, I slipped over to the counter, and paid for our food. 

“How did he get here?” I asked Benny.

“I’m not sure, but maybe you could give him a ride home? He’s not in any condition to be travelling anywhere on his own.”

“My thoughts exactly. I’ll get him home”, I said, and walked back to Hopper. “Come on, big guy. I’m giving you a ride home”, I let him know, patting his shoulder. He uttered some disapproving noises, but I ignored them. I pulled on his arm to make him stand up, and he eventually complied. 

“Good luck and good night!” I heard Benny yell from the kitchen. “Thanks!” I laughed, and Hopper grunted. “One foot in front if the other, Hop. Just please don’t fall, ‘cause I can’t hold you up if you lose your balance.”

“I’m fine”, he complained, and I just rolled my eyes. He had his arm around my shoulder, and I had mine around his waist to steady him. He leaned against my car while I unlocked it, and then I made sure he didn’t hurt himself getting in the car. 

“Put your seatbelt on”, I instructed after having turned on the engine. He mumbled, annoyed, but did as he was told. Then I realized I had no idea where he lived. “Stay awake. I need you to direct me. Left or right?”

“Left”, he said, and we kept that going until I pulled up outside a trailer. “This where you live?” I asked just to be sure. He nodded, and I got out of the car, and helped Hopper out. “I’m fine from here”, he mumbled, but I had difficulty believing that, as he was yet again leaning on me. 

“I just want to make sure you end up in bed, and not on the floor”, I told him.

“It’s messy.”

“I don’t care about that.”

He dug in his pocket, eventually finding the key, and unlocked the door after a bit of a struggle. I barely noticed the mess; I had enough with focusing on Hopper. He walked straight towards the bedroom, and I did my best to make sure he didn’t stumble over his own feet or thin air on the way. 

“Lie dow— whoop!” I exclaimed when he fell into the bed and forgot to let go of me first. “Sorry”, he spoke when he noticed I had fallen on top of him, and did his best to help me up. 

“I’ll get you a glass of water for the morning”, I said before venturing into the kitchen where I filled the largest one I could find. “Do you want me to find something for your head as well?”

“No, ‘s fine, pills are in that drawer right there”, he slurred, halfway into his pillow. I wasn’t sure if what I was feeling. On the one hand, I wanted to laugh at his drunken clumsiness. But, on the other hand, I felt so sorry for him when I thought about why he had gotten so drunk in the first place.

“You should be alright for now. I have to get home. Good night”, I said, keeping my voice quiet and comfortable, and put a hand on his head to make him acknowledge my presence.

“Thank you. Sorry. Night, Val.” Not even ten seconds later he was snoring, and I made my way back outside. Once inside my car, I let out a sob, and allowed myself to cry a little. I felt so goddamn bad for that man, and at the same time, it brought back painful memories from my own past.

To calm myself, I took a deep breath and dried my eyes. Then I drove back home. Daniel was in the living room.

“Where’ve you been?” he asked without looking at me.

“Out. I needed to clear my head.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He stood up, facing me. 

“Don’t start anything. I need to sleep.”

“Valerie! Don’t walk away from me!”

“Leave me alone, Daniel! I need to be alone!” I cried out desperately, rushed into the bedroom, and locked the door behind me. He could handle the couch for one night. I would have to deal with him in the morning, but that didn’t concern me in that moment.

I thought about anything and everything before I eventually fell asleep, exhausted. I dreamt I was pregnant, and woke up the next morning crying. And Daniel was banging on the door.

“Val! Valerie! If you don’t let me in, I swear, I’m gonna—”

I opened the door harshly, and backed away from him. His large hands gripped me by the shoulders, and he smashed me into the wall, making me groan in pain. “You do _not_ \- do you hear me? You _do not_ lock me out of our bedroom!” he yelled in my face, leaning down so he levelled with me. His dark brown hair was unruly, and his hazel eyes were wild. 

“It won’t happen again, I’m sorry”, I cowered. 

“Correct. It won’t.” He pointed a strict finger at me, turned around to leave, but turned back again. He slapped me across the face. Not hard, but hard enough for it to sting a little and make me realize what he would do if there was a next time. An act of dominance. I stood frozen until I heard the front door open and close. He was gone. I could relax.

In order not to break down, I took five deep breaths, and then I went on with my day. I didn’t have a shift that day, so I just did some housework. At around midday, I decided to call down to the station to hear if Hopper was there. I got the note with the number from my coat pocket, and dialled.

_“Hawkins police station, this is Flo. How can I help you?”_

“Uhm, hi, this is Valerie Barron. I was wondering if the Chief is in?”

_“He just walked in ten minutes ago. Would you like me to transfer you to his phone, sweetheart?”_

“Yes, please.”

A bit of clicking and crackling was heard, and then Hopper picked up the phone.

 _“Chief Hopper, what do you want?”_ He did not sound good at all.

“Hi, Hopper. It’s Valerie.”

_“Oh. I’m, uh… Sorry about anything I did or said yesterday. I don’t remember anything except the fact that you were there.”_

“Don’t worry. You were pretty quiet. I found you at Benny’s, we had some food, and then I drove you home”, I explained, leaving out anything that might embarrass him.

_“You drove me home? God, I’m so sorry you had to do that. Yesterday wasn’t… great.”_

“It’s okay. I had nowhere to be, and you sure as hell wouldn’t have gotten home on your own”, I laughed lightly, and he chuckled a little.

_“Well, thanks. That’s very nice of you. I’ll make it up to you.”_

“I’ll be sure to call you the next time I get shitfaced”, I joked.

_“Rather that, than that Daniel handling you.”_

“He’s my husband”, I warned.

 _“Sure as hell doesn’t act like it.”_ His tone was sour, and it wasn’t difficult to tell how little he liked Daniel.

“Drop it. He’s not that bad”, I said, making my voice as light as possible.

_“He’s not good for you.”_

“He’s all I have.”

Both of us went quiet, not knowing what to say.

“Anyways, I was just calling to ask how you’re feeling”, I broke the silence.

 _“I’m alright. I’ve had worse. Can I—”_ I heard some shouting in the background. _“Yeah, I’ll be right there! Just let me finish this phone call!”_ he yelled to someone in the station. _“Sorry, Valerie, I gotta go.”_

“It’s okay. I have to get on with my day as well. Talk to you another time. Bye, Hopper.”

 _“Bye, Val. Thank you”_ , he said, and hung up. At least he was relatively fine and at work, and not pitying himself alone in bed. 

—

Three days later, at 10:30 pm, the phone rang. I picked it up.

“Hello?” I heard some sniffling, but no one said anything. “Hello, who is this?” I tried again.

 _“Val? Are you busy?”_ I recognized the voice immediately. Hopper. I peeked into the living room where Daniel had fallen asleep.

“No, what’s wrong?” 

_“I didn’t know who else to call, I’m sorry. Can you come pick me up at that bar where we first met? Please?”_

He sounded heartbroken, but not as drunk as a few days earlier. “Of course. I’ll be there soon. Don’t go anywhere, okay?”

_“Okay. Thanks.”_

I exited the house quietly in order not to wake Daniel, and then sped to the bar. When I pulled up, he was already outside, waiting for me. He spotted me, and got into the car. “What’s going on?” I asked gently.

“Can you just drive me home?”

“Yeah, sure. Sorry.”

He held it together the entire drive, but when I stopped outside of his trailer, he broke down. He was straight up sobbing, and I wasn’t sure what to do. I put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Hey, let’s go inside”, I said, getting out of the car, and opening the door on his side. Slowly, he made his way in, and I followed. 

“Let’s sit down, okay?” I suggested, and he slumped down on the couch. He was still crying, the occasional sob escaping his lips. The sight of him broke my heart. His head was in his hands, so I rubbed his back comfortingly.

“It’s okay, let it out. It’s okay”, I whispered, trying to calm him down. It seemed to help a little, so I kept going until his breathing had evened out a little. “Do you wanna talk about it?” I asked, receiving a shaky sigh from him. 

“Sara”, he mumbled, barely audible. He gasped for air, and I put a little more weight on my hand on his back, hoping it would ground him. “Shh, shh. I know. I’m so sorry.”

“You know?” he asked, confused, but kept his head down.

“Benny told me that night”, I explained.

“Oh. That makes sense”, he whispered. His crying calmed down after a few minutes, he straightened up and cleared his throat. “Sorry”, he spoke quietly. I shook my head. “No. No, you don’t have anything to be sorry about. Don’t blame yourself, that does you no good.” Saying that made me scoff internally at myself. I’d been blaming myself for the what happened to my daughter since the second it happened.

“It still hurts so bad, Val, I don’t know what to do”, he admitted desperately.

“I know it hurts. And I don’t know how to make it better”, I said to him, feeling my heart ache with each breath.

“What was her name?”

“I’m sorry, what?” He caught me off guard.

“Your daughter.”

“Trina”, I whispered, and sniffled. Usually, I avoided both thinking and talking about her. It hurt too much. Even though it had been years. I suspected it was because I never allowed myself to completely process it. But, in that moment, I let the pain tear through me, and I teared up. Luckily, I managed hiding it from Hopper. 

“You should get some sleep”, I said when I noticed how exhausted he was looking. “Yeah, you’re right. You should, too. Get a good night’s sleep.”

“I will. Good night”, I smiled bittersweetly, and walked to the door. “Good night”, he answered, and went into his bedroom. 

The fact that I made it home in one piece was a miracle. I had completely zoned out, and was surprised when I was suddenly parked in my driveway; no recollection of actually driving.

Daniel was still asleep when I snuck in, I tiptoed upstairs, and got ready for bed as quickly as I could. I slept peacefully.


	3. True Colors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Intense fighting with some violence in this chapter. Just so you're warned in case you're not comfortable with reading that.

“I didn’t do anything!” I screamed, placing my hands on Daniel’s chest to keep him at a distance. A week had passed, and he was pissed.

“Don’t lie to me! I saw you in his car yesterday!”

“Yes, you did! He’s my friend, I had walked into town, and he gave me a ride home!”

“And you expect me to believe that?”

“Yes, I do! You’re being extremely irrational!”

“Don’t speak to me like that! Watch your mouth!”

“You’re such an asshole!”

His fist connected with my face, making me stumble backwards. Eyes full of rage, he towered over me, and all the fire I had inside dwindled to pure fear. “Don’t”, I pleaded.

“You brought this on yourself”, he whispered before he started beating me. I tried shielding myself while pushing him away, but it was as if he didn’t even notice it. I fell to the floor, but he didn’t stop. He just started kicking me instead. Then he pulled me to my feet again, choking me, and I managed to knee him where it hurt the most. He let go of me for a couple of seconds, and I took my chance. As fast as I could, I ran towards the front door, and grabbed my coat on the way, as my car keys were in the pocket of it. 

“You’ll regret this!” he yelled from the porch while I hurriedly backed the car onto the road, and then I sped away. Unsure of where to go, I just drove around town, and eventually pulled over on a road with only woods on the sides.

“Fuck!” I screamed, and banged the steering wheel. I cried, and let out the occasional scream of frustration. Then I looked at myself in the mirror. A black eye was appearing, I had a split lip, and a few small bruises scattered across my face. I rolled the sleeves of my sweater up, and saw bruises forming where he had held me too harshly. I was fine. This wasn’t usual. It had just happened a couple of times before. He didn’t mean it. 

I could hear another car in the distance, but didn’t react until it stopped behind me. I quickly dried my tears, and used my hair to hide my face as much as possible. My eyes widened when I saw Hopper approaching my car. I rolled down the window.

“I recognized your car, and just wanted to check if you were alright”, he smiled, and I slowly turned towards him. His smile disappeared. “What happened?” he asked urgently, opening the car door. “Daniel”, I said, barely audible. “He did this?” he asked, sounding like he was trying his best to keep calm. When I didn’t answer, he slowly reached for my arm, making sure I was aware, and then took hold of it lightly. “Come on, you’re coming with me.”

“No, Hopper, I’m fine.”

“You are so, _so_ far from fine. Come”, he said, and dragged me gently out of my car, steadying me on my feet. He wrapped a supporting arm around my waist, but I hissed in pain. Immediately, he let go. “I should take you to the ER.”

“Please, no. I’ll come with you, but please, no doctors. They’ll ask questions. I don’t wan—”

“Hey, hey, hey, calm down. I’m taking you to my place. I’m trained in first aid, it’s alright”, he interrupted my panicked ramble, and I calmed down a little. He led me to his car, a hand ghosting the small of my back in case I were to fall.

Despite my efforts to stay calm, I couldn’t help but let out a few tears on the way to his trailer. Hopper didn’t say anything, but I noticed his worried glances. He stayed silent until he had sat me down on the couch, and kneeled in front of me.

“What happened?”

“He saw me in your car, and thought I was cheating.”

“So he beat you senseless?”

“No, I spoke back. If I had backed down, this wouldn’t have happened.”

“This is not your fault, Val. It’s his. You should press charges.” 

“No.”

“What?”

“I said no.”

“He could’ve killed you!”

“He didn’t mean to get that angry.”

“Stop defending him. Abuse is never okay.”

“It’s not abuse! We just had a fight, and he got a bit too angry this time.”

“What about next time? What if he doesn’t stop in time?”

“Don’t you understand, Hopper? I _can’t_ press charges! He’s all I have! Without him, I’d have no one! No one cares!” I snapped. His mouth opened, as if he couldn’t find the right words.

“I care, Val. I’m your friend, I’m right here! And I would never hurt you.”

“I’m not pressing charges. That’s final.”

“Fine. I won’t nag more about it tonight. Can I at the very least take care of your injuries?” he asked with pleading eyes.

“Yes, please”, I smiled weakly. He walked off, and soon returned with a first aid kit and some ice. As gently as he could, he cleaned my face, and held it still with two fingers on my chin as he inspected the cuts and bruises. “None of them are deep enough to need stitches, luckily. But, you need to keep your eye and lip iced so it doesn’t swell too bad.” I nodded, and took the bags of ice he held out for me, placing them where he instructed. 

“I need to lift your shirt up. Is that okay, Val?” he asked, looking into my eyes. I just nodded again, and sat straight up to make it easier for him. His warm, calloused hands pressed down in different spots on my body, and I winced a little when he pressed my ribs. “They’re not broken, just a little bruised. You’ll be fine.”

“Thanks, Hopper, you’re very kind. You didn’t have to do this”, I said after he pulled my shirt back down. He looked at me with what I could only describe as pity. “I only did what any other decent person would do”, he said, and sat next to me on the couch. “What’re you going to do now?” he asked.

“I was planning on spending the night in my car, and then go back home in the morning”, I told him, but he shook his head disapprovingly. “No, you can stay here. Take my bed”, he said, and my eyes widened in fear. What if Daniel found out? “He won’t find out. I’ll drive you back to your car early tomorrow”, he assured me as if he knew exactly what I was thinking, making me relax.

“Are you sure you won’t mind? The backseat isn’t that bad”, I said, feeling bad for being of even more inconvenience. “You need to rest. A bed is better. And I don’t mind the couch. I’ve fallen asleep on it plenty of times.”

“Thank you. I’m gonna go to bed now, if you don’t mind. I’m exhausted”, I said with a yawn.

“Of course. You can just grab a shirt from my closet if you want something else to sleep in”, he offered. An oversized shirt sounded a lot better than a blouse and jeans, I had to admit. “Oh, just let me change the sheets real quick”, he said, and walked in front of me. He grabbed some sheets from the top shelf after having taken off the old ones. “I’ll help”, I offered, approaching him. He put his arm out. “No, I don’t want you to strain yourself”, he answered right away. “Hopper—” “No.” I sighed in defeat, and watched while he struggled just a little bit.

“There you go. If you need me, I’ll be on the couch”, he said. I don’t what came over me that next second; if it was my need for comfort or just my emotional instability, but I stopped him, and buried my face in his chest. In that moment, I had forgotten all inhibitions and self-control. He seemed to understand. He just held me; one hand rubbing my back slowly, and the other one on the back of my head. Then I stepped back.

“Sorry, I just—”

“It’s alright. I understand, Val. Now get some sleep, okay?” he said gently, his hand on the side of my head, making me look at him. I sniffled and nodded. “Was it alright if I borrowed a shirt?” I asked to clarify.

“Of course. Third shelf”, he pointed to the closet. “Good night.”

“Thanks. Good night.”

I opened the closet door, and pulled out a T-shirt. As quickly as I could without hurting myself even more, I took off my own clothes, avoided looking in the mirror, and slipped into Hopper’s shirt. It went down to my mid-thigh, and I smiled slightly at the sight before getting under the covers. I fell asleep almost right away.

—

“Val. Valerie”, I heard a gruff, yet soft voice speak, luring me out of my sleep together with a hand on my upper arm. I opened my eyes to see Hopper kneeling next to the bed. “What time is it?” I yawned, and he turned to check the clock on the wall outside the bedroom. “Almost six”, he told me, barely above a whisper, “I thought I’d wake you now so you get home early.”

“Oh. Thanks. Uhm… Can I borrow your shower before I leave?”

“Of course. I’ll make us some breakfast in the meantime. Towels are on the top shelf, bathroom just across the hall”, he turned to leave the room.

“Uh, Hopper.” He turned around. “Top shelf isn’t gonna work”, I chuckled, and he did too when he realized I wouldn’t be able to reach. “Sorry”, he mumbled, and grabbed two towels for me. “Thanks”, I said, gathered my clothes, and headed for the shower.

The warm water felt nice, but it stung whenever I got it in a cut. I finished up rather quickly, and got dressed in order not to keep him waiting for too long. What I wanted was to go back to bed, but I had to head home. 

“Smells good”, I commented when noticed he was making scrambled eggs and bacon. “I’m not that much of a cook, so I kept it simple”, he smiled, and gestured for me to sit down at the table. It only took him a couple more minutes until the food was on the table. I dug in, and suddenly noticed how hungry I actually was. Hopper tried to hide his chuckle, but I caught it, sending him a smirk.

“This is great. It’s been a long time since someone cooked me breakfast. Thank you. For everything”, I said sincerely, and he smiled warmly. “No worries. It’s what friends do, right?”

“Definitely.”

We finished our breakfast, and I reluctantly got up. “Ready to go?” he asked, and I nodded, but not really ready to face Daniel. The sooner, the better, I thought to myself, put on my shoes and jacket, and walked out of Hopper’s trailer, him right behind me.

—

“Call me if you need me, okay? Call me”, Hopper insisted as I unbuckled my seatbelt. “Yeah”, I told him, and opened the door. His hand grabbed my arm, and stopped me from getting out. “I mean it. I’m here for you, Val.”

“I know. I’m here for you, too”, I smiled, put my hand on top of his for a few seconds before I jumped out of his truck, and hurried over to mine. He waited until I was on my way, and I waved at him as I started my drive home. 

A nervous knot was building up in my stomach as I got closer to home. I kept tapping my fingers on the steering wheel and biting the inside of my cheek until I pulled up in our driveway. Daniel must’ve heard the car. He opened the front door, and stood waiting for me.

Head hung in shame, I approached him. “I’m sorry”, I whimpered, and he brought me into a hug. “Shh, it’s alright, baby. It’s okay. Let’s go inside”, he comforted me, and led me into the house, his arm around my waist. “It won’t happen again”, he assured me as I sat down on the couch, and I nodded. Bringing my knees up to my chest, I sniffled a little, but managed to stay calm. Everything would be alright.

— 

“Babe! We’re gonna be late!” Daniel yelled from downstairs. I quickly put my earrings in, and took one final look in the mirror. “I’m coming!” I let him know as I ran out of the bedroom, and then down the stairs. “Looking good”, he smirked, lightly slapping my ass, making me let out a surprised squeal. “Thanks, you too”, I said, and pecked his cheek before putting my shoes on. “I’ll drive”, Daniel announced, holding up the car keys. I followed him out to the car, and we drove to the restaurant. 

It wasn’t very fancy, but it was fancier than Benny’s. Not that there was anything wrong with Benny’s; I loved the food and the atmosphere, but this was our anniversary dinner. We ordered a bottle of wine, but nothing more, as one of us would have to drive home. Not quite legal, but, oh well. I was scanning the menu, having a hard time making up my mind, but Daniel looked ready, so a waitress approached us.

“Are you guys ready to order your food?”

“Yeah, I—”, Daniel began, but I cut him off.

“Actually, could we have a few more minutes?” I requested, not quite sure if I should have chicken or lamb, and the waitress nodded, leaving us to it with a smile. Daniel groaned, and rolled his eyes. “Come on, just choose something”, he complained, making me look at him. “Just a couple more minutes, I just need to make up my mind”, I tried to calm him.

“You’re always so indecisive”, he pointed out, but I didn’t recognize that in myself.

“What? Where is this coming from?” I asked, confused.

“You take fucking forever when you need to make a choice, and it’s beginning to piss me off, actually”, he spoke dryly.

“Well, I’m sorry, then. I’ll have the lamb”, I said, my mood not as good as it was two minutes ago. I cringed when Daniel snapped to catch the waitress’ attention. “What’s your problem now?” he asked, unamused. “That’s so impolite”, I whispered, as the waitress walked up to our table, and then I looked up at her. 

“I’ll have the lamb, please”, I requested, and she wrote it down. “Steak for me. Medium rare”, Daniel stated, and then she walked off. “Why are you being so rude?” I asked quietly, and his eyes snapped up to look in mine. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he shot back in a snide manner. “You snapped at the waitress. You know how rude that is. And you could’ve been nice to her when she took our orders”, I explained.

“Are you trying to start something?”

“No! I’m just pointing it out in case you didn’t realize.”

“I don’t need you to do that. I’ll act however I want.”

“If you’re going to act like this, I see no point of being out in public where it’ll affect others”, I whisper-yelled.

“Why do you always have to ruin everything nice? I’m sick of it. I’m sick of you!”

“Keep your voice down”, I hissed, leaning in closer, trying to ignore that last sentence.

“You don’t need tell me what to do.”

“Then act accordingly”, I snapped. He raised his eyebrows, and the corner of his mouth twitched. 

“That’s it. Come on”, he said, and grabbed my arm tightly, pulling me out of the restaurant harshly. “Let go”, I demanded, but he just slammed me against the wall. He was still holding my arm, and his other hand was on my shoulder, but a bit too close to my neck for my liking. “You fucking brat. You don’t get to talk to me like that, and you know it so well!” he shouted, pushing on my shoulder, making me wince slightly. 

“Please, not here”, I tried to reason with him, and pushed his chest. He moved, but his feet stayed planted. “Daniel, please”, I attempted, moving my free hand to his cheek. That only made him angrier. He slapped me hard, taking me by surprise, and gasped in pain and shock. How could he do that in public? Before he could do anything else, he was pulled away from me by someone. I looked up, and realized it was Hopper.

“You’re under arrest for assault”, he began, but was interrupted by an elbow to his jaw, “and assaulting a police officer and resisting arrest. Jeez, you really went for it today”, Hopper spoke dryly before cuffing him, and handing him over to one of the officers. It took me a few seconds to realize what was happening. “No”, I mumbled, and walked towards Hopper who was a few feet away. “No!” I yelled, and he turned to me.

“Valerie, what—”

“HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME? HOW COULD YOU TAKE AWAY THE ONLY PERSON WHO CARES ABOUT ME? I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT!” I screamed at him, punching his chest in pure rage. He took a small step back in surprise, but then stood completely still and did nothing to stop me. “You’ll be okay”, he attempted, but I swatted his arm away when he reached for me. “WHY, HOPPER? I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITHOUT HIM! HE’S ALL I HAVE!” 

My words seemed to disappear, but I kept screaming and crying out either way, banging on his chest, and then Hopper’s arms came around me, restricting my movements. I thrashed with all my might, trying to get loose, but it had no effect. “YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, and he just tightened his grip on me. I sobbed and I screamed, and then I gave up. I collapsed in his arms, and cried into his chest. “Shh, shh, you’re okay”, he whispered, and pressed a kiss on the top of my head. “I’ve got you”, he assured me, and kept holding me. I was clinging desperately to the front of his uniform, afraid what would happen if I let go. He whispered sweet nothings to me, and didn’t pull away until I did so first.

I let my knees go out, and dropped to a squat, still crying. A pair of hands came under my upper arms and lifted me back up to a standing position. “I’ll drive you home”, Hopper informed me, and led me to his Blazer. I got in slowly, and just stared blankly in front of me. 

“You have your keys?” Hopper asked when we suddenly were parked outside of my house. I patted my pockets, and checked my purse, but couldn’t find them before I realized. “Daniel has them. He couldn’t find his, so he just used mine”, I stressed, tears forming in my eyes again in pure frustration.

“Hey. Hey, you can stay with me, then. You alright with that? Or do you wanna head down to the station and get your keys?” He gave me options, and it wasn’t a difficult choice.

“Your place”, I decided, not sure if I could handle seeing Daniel in that moment. I was exhausted, and the movements of the car lulled me to sleep.

Next thing I remember was being placed down in a bed. Instinctively, I reached out for the person, and then remembered I was at Hopper’s place. He squeezed my hand for comfort. “I’ll be on the couch if you need me. Try and get some sleep, Val”, he whispered before leaving the room.

I tried, I really did, but I couldn’t seem to go back to sleep. I kept worrying about what would happen next. Would I have to move? If so, where? Out of Hawkins? I didn’t want that. Feeling incredibly thirsty, I stood up from the bed, and tiptoed as quietly as I could to the kitchen for a glass of water. I only turned the water on a little to keep it as quiet as possible, filled a glass up, and made my way to the porch in need of some fresh air. It was freezing, but I didn’t care. It provided me with some sort of clarity, and I took a deep breath. 

“Gah!” I let out, a very awkward noise, and jumped when the door opened behind me. “Jesus, Hopper, you almost gave me a heart attack”, I faked annoyance, clutching my chest, but couldn’t help the smile spreading on my lips.

“Sorry”, he chuckled, and pulled out a cigarette. “Can I have one?” I asked immediately, and he gave it to me before fishing up another one for himself. He lit it for me, and I took a long drag, forgetting that this wasn’t what I was used to smoke. “What is this?” I coughed, and took another, much shorter, drag. “Camels”, he answered with a smirk, cigarette dangling between his lips. I could almost have guessed it.

“Why are you up?” I asked, curious as to what prevented the man from sleeping, and then my eyes widened. “I didn’t wake you, did I?” He smiled in response, and held his cigarette between his fingers, flicking it. “No, relax. Sometimes I just can’t sleep”, he told me. I nodded, and we finished our cigarettes in silence, but the fact that I wasn’t alone was of great comfort to me. I let go of my cigarette, stepped on it, and wrapped my arms around myself in an attempt to keep the cold out. 

“Let’s go back inside before you turn to ice”, Hopper said, and I agreed. He opened the door, and let me walk inside first. Only when the warmth from inside hit me, I realized how cold it actually was outside. “Will you be able to sleep tonight?” I asked while rubbing my arms to provide myself with some heat. Hopper grabbed a thick blanket from the couch, put it around me, and I thanked him quietly. “Probably not.” he told me. “Me neither. Can I hang out in here? It’s quite boring to just stare at the bedroom ceiling. And it makes me think too much”, I admitted.

“Yeah, of course. Do you want a beer?” he asked, walking over to his refrigerator as I slumped down on the couch. “I’d love one”, I told him, suspecting that some alcohol in my system would make me feel better. He opened both bottles, and handed one to me before sitting down on the other end of the couch. “How are you feeling?” he asked, and I took a huge gulp to give myself a few extra seconds to think through my answer. “Lost. I’ve been married to him for twelve years, and now he’s suddenly in jail”, I answered honestly, and saw Hopper’s disapproving frown.

“I wish you could see that it’s a good riddance. He’s so bad for you.”

“He’s not that bad. Just has a bit of a temper, that’s all. He can be really sweet. And he _always_ apologizes. Always, Hopper.”

“There’s no excuse for how he’s treated you.”

“I was fine, you know. But now I don’t know what’s gonna happen. And that scares me.”

“Everything will be alright, Val.”

“If you say so.”

“You’re strong.”

“Hardly”, I scoffed.

“You are. What makes you think you’re not?”

“What makes you think I am?” 

“You deal with that piece of shit, and still manage to be as great and kind and selfless as you are. But you don’t have to deal with him anymore now.”

“But he’ll be out someday.”

“How soon that is depends on what you choose to do.”

“What do you mean?”

“The case against him will be much stronger if you testify and tell them everything he’s done. He could go away for a long time.”

“He’d be furious if I did that”, I said, fear creeping into my voice.

“He can’t touch you. He can’t hurt you anymore.”

“What about when he gets out?”

“Restraining order.”

“And you think he’ll follow that?”

“If he knows what’s best for himself.” I could see Hopper was clenching his fists in anger, but I wasn’t sure who he was angry at; Daniel or me? Afraid the answer might be me, I decided not to say anything more. Hopper went to the kitchen and came back with a bottle of whiskey and two glasses. We drank quite a lot, but said next to nothing. The alcohol made me feel warm and fuzzy. After drinking a bit too much for a night in, I let myself slide down until my head was on the armrest of the couch, and curled up so I wouldn’t take too much of the couch. Then it was as if someone flicked a switch inside me, because I fell asleep in the matter of seconds.


	4. Trying to Adjust

I was startled awake, and groaned in pain and annoyance when I realized I had fallen off the couch. I sat up, and then I noticed the dull headache that had to be a light hangover. I huffed, and went to climb back onto the sofa, but was interrupted by a laugh coming from behind me. “What are you doing?” Hopper chuckled from the kitchen. I couldn’t help but smile with him. “Fell off the couch in my sleep”, I answered, and let out a yawn. “What time is it?”

“2 pm”, he told me, and I stood up quickly, eyes wide. “ _What?_ I was supposed to be at work hours ago!” I panicked, and hurried towards the door to put on shoes and my jacket. “Relax. I called, and said you wouldn’t be able to come in today”, he calmed me down, but I looked at him with furrowed eyebrows. “Why?”

“‘Cause you’ve been through some rough shit, and deserve a little time off. Doesn’t that sound nice?”

“Yeah. It does”, I admitted with a laugh. “Are you cooking?”

“Yeah, I’m hungry. Figured you’d be too. Do you like chicken?”

“I love chicken”, I nodded, and wrapped a blanket around my shoulders; the temperature he kept in his trailer just a bit too chilly for me. I watched him as he, a bit clumsily, prepared the meal, and jumped up when a pot was boiling over and he failed to notice. Quickly, I lifted the lid, and the water calmed down. “Thanks”, he mumbled when he realized what had happened. “Just five more minutes, and it’ll be ready.”

Wanting to help, I opened a cabinet, and found what I was looking for; plates and glasses. I opened the top drawer next to the stove, and smiled when I spotted the cutlery. While he was busy cooking, I set the table. “You don’t have to do that”, he said, but I just waved a dismissing hand at him. “I feel bad just sitting around. And, I don’t mind helping”, I told him, and put the glasses down. He hummed in acknowledgement.

“Here we go. Chicken a la Hopper”, he presented the food in a lighthearted manner, making me laugh. “Dig in”, he said, wanting me to serve myself first. I smiled at him before I loaded food up on my plate. It tasted better than I expected. “Is it any good?” he asked, and took a large bite. “Mm-hmm”, I confirmed, my mouth full. 

—

“I should probably head back home”, I said when we had finished washing the dishes. “You sure? You can stay here if you want to. And you can go home if you want. Completely up to you”, he let me know, and it gave me a sense of safety. He’d be there if I needed him. “Thank you. But, I need to shower, change my clothes, and just some time to think by myself”, I said, and got ready to leave. Hopper followed right behind, and got in the driver’s seat. For the first time in Hawkins, I paid attention to everything around me, especially noticing how beautiful the trees were, and the sharp winter sun making them cast looming shadows.

“Wait here”, Hopper told me when we got to the station, and I did just that while he got my keys. He returned not even two minutes later, and held my keys up in the air, dangling them with a smile on his face, and got in the car. “Here you go”, he said, and handed them to me. I fiddled with them the rest of the way until we were outside my house.

I leaned over, and gave Hopper a slightly awkward hug. “Thank you”, I mumbled, and he stroked my hair. “Call me anytime if you need me”, he instructed, I nodded, and opened the car door. “Oh, wait”, he stopped me, and got out a notebook and a pen from his chest pocket, scribbling something down. “My home number. That’s usually where I am at night. Just call, okay? Nothing is unimportant”, he made it clear, giving me the note. I squeezed his arm, and got out of the car.

The house felt empty without Daniel. I went straight to the bathroom, stripped out of the date night outfit I was still wearing, and got in the shower. For a few minutes, I just stood still, and let the water run over me, warming up. Then I got cleaned up quite quickly, and went straight to bed where I read for a good hour, even though it wasn’t even 4 pm yet. I took a nap to escape reality and all the troubles it was hurling at me. 

When I woke up, I wasn’t quite sure what to do. I walked around the house, tidying a bit here and there and then cooked some simple dinner. It was quiet, and I hated to admit that it was actually nice. No tiptoeing around, wary of starting fights. But I missed him. I missed having him around. Sure, he wasn’t the best guy, but he was my husband. Most of the time it was nice. 

But did I love him? Well, I must’ve, after twelve years of marriage. Right? Right. Romantically, I wasn’t quite sure. I never felt anything out of the ordinary when we touched or kissed or had sex. That, of course, could be blamed on time. Maybe we were better off as friends? Maybe a divorce was the best option. A friendly one with no hard feelings. To me, everything felt like a pattern. Something we had gotten used to that none of us bothered to break with. But maybe a divorce was the best for him? Seemed like it at least. He deserved to be happy, and we argued so often. 

—

The next morning, the phone rang, and I hurriedly picked it up. “Hello?”

_“Hey, it’s Hopper. Could you come down to the station?”_

“Yeah. Right now?”

_“As soon as you can.”_

“I’ll be there in ten minutes. See you then”, I said, and hung up. He probably had news about Daniel. I got ready quickly, and drove to the station. When I stepped inside, I looked around, and spotted a lady. “Hi. I’m looking for Hopper. He wanted me to come down”, I said hesitantly, and when she spoke, I recognized her voice. It was Flo; I had spoken on the phone with her when I called to check on Hopper a little while ago.

“Oh, yeah. Mrs. Barron?” she asked, and I nodded. “Down there, and there’s a sign on the door. You can’t miss it. Just give it a couple of knocks, dear.” She was really sweet. I thanked her, and walked in the direction she had pointed. I knocked on his door. “Come in”, I heard Hopper yell, and I opened the door. “Hey, Val”, he smiled, and removed his feet from his desk, leaning on it with his elbows instead. 

“So. Daniel’s in jail. There’ll be a trial in about a month. He could come home in the meantime, but bail is pretty high”, Hopper began explaining. I nodded, taking in the information.

“How much?”

“Five thousand dollars.”

“ _Five thousand?_ We don’t have that much money right now, what with buying a house and all”, I stressed.

“That’s fine. That just means he’ll be in jail for that month.”

“Can I talk to him?”

“You wanna go visi—”

“No. No, on the phone. If that’s possible.” I didn’t want to have to tell it to his face, that we couldn’t afford bail. “Yeah, I can try to call up there”, he said, and picked up the phone. Looking at a note, he dialled the number, and waited for someone to pick up.

“This is Chief Jim Hopper from the Hawkins police… Yes, hello… Is it possible to speak to one of your inmates, uh, Daniel Barron? I have his wife here, and she would like to talk to him… Great, thanks… I’ll hold.”

I raised my eyebrows in expectation, and Hopper nodded before someone said something on the other end of the line. “Hello, it’s Chief Hopper… I’ve got Valerie here. She wants to talk.” He handed the phone to me, and I held it to my ear.

“Hey, Daniel”, I said gently.

_“Valerie. What do you want?”_

“I just wanted to talk to you. I assume you’ve heard how high your bail is?”

_“A crazy five grand, yeah.”_

“I… We can’t afford it, Daniel.”

_“What do you mean?”_

“There’s not enough money.”

_“Well, then get more money!”_

“How?! I can’t just make it magically appear!”

_“I don’t care how. Just find a way to get me out of this shithole.”_

“I can’t”, I mumbled, close to a whisper.

_“God, I can’t believe it! Just as useless as ever.”_

“Please, don’t…”

_“Don’t what, huh?”_

“Nothing. I have to go. I’m sorry, Daniel. We’ll talk another time”, I finished, and hung up before he could say anything else. Groaning, I put my head in my hands, not knowing what to do next. “It’ll work out”, Hopper comforted me, taking a gentle hold of my forearm. “It all does in the end”, I sighed. After taking a few seconds to gather myself, I looked up at him. “Thank you”, I began, “I’ll get on with my day. Let you do your job”, I smiled, and stood up. “This is my job”, he smirked, making me let out a snort. “I know. But, go save the world or something. Help an old man, stop a robbery, I don’t know”, I said jokingly. “Yeah, I’ll go do that”, he laughed, “I’m just gonna see you out first.”

“What a gentleman. Escorting me to my car and all”, I teased, and he just smiled. “Bye, see you later!” I said before closing the door. He waved as I drove away. I drove to Melvald’s to pick up some light bulbs. The one in the hallway wasn’t working when we moved in, and one in the kitchen stopped working yesterday.

I recognized the woman behind the counter. Joyce. She seemed to be working every single time I went there. We smiled at each other before I walked between shelves, looking for the light bulbs I needed. Picking out the ones that looked right, I walked to the counter. “Hi, how are you?” she asked, seemingly genuine. “Good, how are you?” I answered her, and she scanned the light bulbs. “Oh, I’m good. Listen, I heard what happened, and I wondered if you wanted to come over for dinner tonight?” she asked hesitantly. That made me realize how fast rumors travelled in Hawkins.

“Oh, no, I wouldn’t want to impose”, I responded, but she waved her hands. “Oh, no, no! You wouldn’t be imposing. It would be really nice. I live with two boys, so a female presence is very welcomed”, she insisted. When she noticed I was still hesitating, she spoke up again. “I know it’s not that long since you moved here, and I just want to make sure you like it here.”

“That’s very kind of you. Are you sure you want me over?”

“Yes! Come by at six tonight. Here’s my address”, she said, and scribbled it down on a piece of paper. “Thank you, I really appreciate it”, I told her, and picked up my light bulbs. “I’ll see you later. Six o’clock!” she called out as I was on my way out. I waved at her when I walked out the door, and smiled to myself the entire way home. 

I knew she felt bad for me, and that she probably did this just to be nice, but, to be frank, I didn’t care. I knew next to no one in Hawkins, and this was a nice opportunity to get to know someone other than Hopper and Benny. 

Looking at the clock in the kitchen, I saw it was about six hours until dinner at Joyce’s house. I decided to take a quick shower. When finished with that, I checked the kitchen for what ingredients I had in, wanting to bring something for dessert. Having mapped out what was in the house, I decided on chocolate cake. I knew she had two sons, so chocolate cake would probably be a hit.

—

I knocked three times, and a boy opened the door. “Hi”, I smiled at him, and saw Joyce on her way from the kitchen. “Hey, Valerie! Come in!” she encouraged me, and I stepped inside. “I brought chocolate cake. I hope you guys like that”, I said, holding it out to her. “Oh, you shouldn't have! Thank you!” She took it, and put it in the kitchen. The boy was looking at me, so I reached out my hand. “I’m Valerie”, I introduced myself when he accepted it. “I’m Will”, he smiled, and shook my hand. 

“Food’s almost ready, can you go get your brother, Will?” Joyce called out. “Yeah, got it, mom”, Will answered, and disappeared down the hallway. I walked to the kitchen. “Do you need help with anything?” I offered, but she shook her head. “No, it’s fine. I’ve got it”, she brushed it off. “Smells delicious. What is it?” I asked her, seeing something inside the oven, but not able to make out what. “Lasagna”, she told me, making me smile. “Oh, I love lasagna”, I said, my stomach letting out a growl, further proving the point.

“Oh, Jonathan! This is Valerie, a friend of mine”, Joyce said to her oldest when she spotted him. I turned around, and waved at him as he sat down at the table, and he smiled back. They both seemed a little quiet, but that could also be because I was a stranger. I felt like I was out of place, but pushed it away, wanting to enjoy the evening.

Joyce got the lasagna out of the oven, and sat it on the table. We all sat down, and Joyce wanted me to take first. I served myself with a small portion, and took a bite. “This is amazing!” I told her after having swallowed it. “Thank you”, she smiled, “what about you, boys? Did you like it?” I only heard mumbles of “it’s really good” and “I love it, mom”, their mouths full of food, and I chuckled lightly at the little family. 

“Where did you live before, Valerie?” Joyce asked.

“Chicago. That’s where I grew up.”

“Why did you move here?” Jonathan wondered.

“My husband got a really good job opportunity here.”

“Why isn’t he here?” Will asked, and I almost choked.

“He was really busy tonight”, I lied, but smiled warmly. Joyce sent me an apologetic look, but I shook my head, trying to tell her not to worry about it. He was a kid. It was natural that he wasn’t in on the town gossip, and that he’d ask where my husband was when he heard I had one. 

The mood around the table was nice, and conversation flowed naturally. Jonathan and I talked about music, and it turned out that we have quite similar taste. Will talked enthusiastically about a game called _Dungeons and Dragons_. I didn’t know much about it, but I made sure to pay attention to him while he talked, and tried my best to understand it. Joyce and I didn’t really get to talk much, as we both paid most of our attention on her kids. They were delightful.

We finished dinner, and I helped clear the table. “Boys! Don’t go to your rooms just yet. Valerie brought cake!” Joyce said to her sons, who immediately returned to the table. I brought the cake out, and Joyce followed with plates and a knife for cutting the cake. “Well, dig in, then”, I said, and Jonathan took the knife, cutting a piece for Will first, and then himself. Joyce cut herself a piece, and then it was me. And just like that, almost half of the cake was gone.

“Is it any good?” I asked, and they all nodded. “Really good. Can I have the recipe?” Joyce asked. “Sure! I’ll write it down for you when I get home, and give it to you sometime. I don’t know it completely in my head”, I admitted, and she laughed softly.

—

If I were to use one word to describe that family, it would be _warm_. They seemed so happy, and it was so easy to see how much she adored her boys. For just a few seconds I allowed myself to daydream about that life for Daniel, Trina and me if everything had gone according to plan.

I shook my head, and got up from the couch. I should go visit Daniel. Not knowing how to get there or when visitation was possible, I got out the phone book, and looked for Tippecanoe County Jail. Spotting it, I brought the book over to the phone, and dialled.

 _“Tippecanoe County Jail”_ , a woman answered in an uninterested tone.

“Hi, this is Valerie Barron. I was wondering when I could visit my husband? His name’s Daniel Barron.”

_“Visitation is tomorrow from 2pm.”_

“Uh, okay, so I can just show up?”

_“That’s how it works, yeah. Was that all?”_

“Yeah. Thank you.” She hung up, and I took another look in the phone book, and scribbled down the address. I wasn’t completely sure how to get there, but I had seen road signs with Tippecanoe on them, so I assumed it would be fine. I got out a map to plan the trip a little.

After having studied it for a while, I was fairly certain the drive would take about an hour. So, I’d drive from home at 12:30 so I had time if I got lost.

—

I got there smoothly, taking only one wrong turn at the end, so I stayed in my car for about 20 minutes to wait for the time to be 2pm. Stepping out of the car, I felt my palms become clammy, and I tried to keep my breathing calm.


	5. Blackout Drunk

I was brought into a room with about 20 tables, and I sat down at one near the middle. Other people took their seats as well; some looking just as nervous as me, and others looking like this was a weekly occurrence.

A buzzer went off, and inmates piled into the room. Spotting Daniel, I smiled at him, and gave him a hesitant wave. His neutral expression stayed the same.

“What are you doing here?” 

“Visiting you. Did you not want me to come?” I asked, suddenly regretting my decision to visit him.

“All the same to me. You didn’t bother getting me out of here.”

“We don’t have the money.”

“You could’ve taken up a loan.”

“And put us even more in debt? I don’t think so, Dan.”

“You could’ve at least tried to find a way.”

“Please, like a month will make any difference to the time you’ll be doing.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Hopper said you could be in here for at least a year.”

“Yeah, if you testify”, he said, sure of himself that I wouldn’t do such a thing. I looked down in my lap, and was startled when he banged the table. “I can’t believe you. Honestly, Val, you’re not a great wife.”

“You’re abusive”, I said, having thought through what Hopper had tried getting into my head.

“Excuse me?” 

“You hit me, Dan. And not just once. And you’re mean. Of course I’m testifying against you. I’m not gonna lie in court”, I boldly stated, knowing that if he made a move, there were correctional officers all around that’d stop him.

“Where’s all this coming from?” He was trying to make me look stupid.

“I’m testifying against you. See you in court”, I finalized, and stood up.

“Hey. Hey! Don’t walk away from me! Val!” I tried my best to ignore his yelling, but couldn’t help quickening my pace just a little to get out of there faster.

I hadn’t allow myself to even think about the fact that Daniel could’ve been abusive until now, despite my friends telling me early on that he was bad for me. Not even when Hopper who found me beaten up and then later witnessed Daniel being violent had begged me to open my eyes. I was afraid because Daniel was still there. I had to go home to him everyday, and merely the thought of him being abusive was too frightening to take into consideration. Because he wasn’t always like that. And he always apologized. That was good enough for me. Distancing myself from him in this way was scary. Who on earth could love me? A broken, stupid, blind, gullible, nervous wreck. A nobody with too much baggage.

—

Upon getting home, I decided I should apologize to Hopper. I picked up the phone, and decided to try his office number first. He picked up on the third ring.

_“Chief Hopper, who’s this?”_

“Hey, Hopper, it’s Val. I was wondering if you’d like to grab a burger at Benny’s later? I need to talk to you”, I said hesitantly.

_“Yeah, of course. What’s going on?”_

“I’ll tell you there. When’s okay for you?”

_“I can be there in an hour. Do you want me to pick you up?”_

“No, it’s fine, I’ll meet you there.”

_“Alright, see you soon, Val.”_

“Yeah, bye.”

I wasn’t sure what exactly to say to him. That he was right? I scoffed at myself for overthinking. To make time pass, I tidied and cleaned around the house. After having cleaned the kitchen, and dusted the living room and hallway, almost an hour had passed, so I got ready to leave.

I spotted Hopper’s car when I pulled into the parking lot, and hurried a little in order not to keep him waiting longer than necessary. He waved at me when he spotted me, and I made my way over. “I just got you a bacon cheeseburger and some fries, hope that’s okay”, he said, pushing my food towards me. “Thanks, Hopper, that’s perfect”, I confirmed, and ate a fry. 

“So what did you want to talk about?” he asked, and sounded worried.

“I went to visit Daniel earlier today”, I let him know, and watched the surprise on his face.

“Really? How’d that go?”

“Just as I expected. He… Well, you know how he can be.”

“What happened?”

“He was in a sour mood already because I couldn’t bail him out. And then I told him that I’m going to testify against him. Let’s just say that I was glad we weren’t alone.”

“I’m sorry, Val. I hate that you have to deal with him. But, hey. He’ll go away for a while. I, uh… Please don’t get mad, but when you crashed at my place that night, I took a picture of you”, he began, and fished a polaroid out of his pocket. I furrowed my eyebrows, and opened my mouth, but he stopped me. “Just let me explain before you say anything, please. I took it to document your injuries. And I did it while you were sleeping because you would’ve said no if I asked, and I couldn’t let evidence like that go. This is evidence, and will weaken his defence. I’m sorry, but I did it with good intentions.”

“It’s alright. Thank you. I’m sorry I’ve been an ass whenever you bring up Daniel. I know what he did was wrong, but it was too scary to even think about that when I had to see him everyday.”

“Don’t apologize. None of this is your fault, okay?”

“Thank you, Hopper.”

After that, we avoided the topic of my husband, and talked about much lighter stuff. He told me about what it was like being a cop, and hilarious things he had witnessed on duty, completely avoiding the dark side of the job. I rambled about books and my passion for reading, telling him I once wanted to study creative writing, but was now more than happy to be working in a bookstore.

A group of people entered the diner. I had seen them in town before, but didn’t know their names. However, they kept looking over at me. I pretended not to notice, but was definitely not comfortable with being the town gossip. Hopper noticed I kept looking over his shoulder, and turned around to see what was going on. He realized quickly.

“It’ll die down in a couple days. I know it sucks, but that’s a small town for you”, he explained in a low voice, and looked at me with pity in his eyes. I didn’t quite like it. I didn’t want to be a charity case. “I know. It’s just… It’s a lot different from Chicago”, I said, and cast another glance at the group. 

“Tell me about Chicago, then”, Hopper suggested, trying to take my attention away from the others. “It’s a lot bigger than here, obviously”, I began, laughing, “so, even though I went to the same coffee shop everyday, I never recognized any of the other customers there. And I’m sure you know it’s not the safest city, and I never really took any precautions, so I got mugged a couple of times on my way home from nights out”, I told him, chuckling at my recklessness. He raised his eyebrows. “Jeez, you gotta be more careful”, he said, but a smile was playing on his lips. “Not that Hawkins is any dangerous. Last missing person was in 1923”, he chuckled. 

“Have you always lived here?” I asked; he seemed very familiar with the area. “I grew up here. After high school I served in the Vietnam War. Then I got married to Diane, and we had Sara. Uh… We lived in New York, I was a cop there, but… When she died and Diane and I got divorced, I moved back here three years ago.” The look on his face was blank, and I instantly felt bad for asking. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s alright.”

“What was she like?” I asked, hoping that remembering the good parts would make him feel better. At the very least, I saw his eyes light up at whatever memory he was replaying inside his head.

“She was so smart. I don’t know where she got it from. She had this book about stars and stuff like that. She was obsessed with it. And she was so happy and kind. She’s my little girl”, he told me with his voice full of love, adoration and grief, and blank eyes.

I wasn’t sure what to do, so I settled on putting a hand on his arm, and squeezed comfortingly. When he looked at me, I sent him a sad smile. “She sounds wonderful”, I whispered, and he choked back his tears as he nodded.

“Thank you”, he mumbled.

“What?” I asked, confused as to why he would be thanking me for bringing up his dead daughter.

“No one ever asks about how she was like. They just want to know what happened to her”, he scoffed. “And I don’t want people to just associate her with a tragic death. She was so much more than that. So thank you for asking about her.”

“You’re a good father”, I told him, unsure if it was the right thing to say. When he smiled, I let out a small breath of relief; I was scared of making it worse. “You would’ve been a good mother”, he spoke, making me tear up slightly, but I smiled. “I like to think so”, I said, letting out a sad laugh.

“You wanna go get drunk?” Hopper suddenly suggested. “Definitely”, I agreed immediately, needing something to take my mind off of everything that was happening. 

Hopper insisted on paying, and I protested. Eventually, I gave in, knowing that I’d pay him back sometime. We drove to the centre of the town, and he brought me into a bar. Normally, I’d start off with a beer, but I went straight for a few shots of vodka just to get some alcohol in my blood. Hopper raised his eyebrows at me while drinking his whiskey. I grinned back at him, and ordered a gin and tonic.

We talked comfortably, and had a great time. As time passed by, we both got drunker. However, I was further ahead than him, having lost count of how many gin and tonics I had had. Four? Six? Eight? I had no idea. And then a few more shots of vodka in between the drinks

“I’ll be right back”, Hopper said, pointing towards the toilet sign. I gave him two thumbs up, and he chuckled as he got up. “Another gin and tonic, please”, I asked, noticing I had finished yet another one. “Coming right up”, the bartender said. I shifted in my seat when a man sat down next to me. He stared at me up and down, and I tried ignoring him. “Can I buy you a drink?” he asked, his face too close to mine. “No, thanks, I’m fine”, I politely declined him. 

“Oh, come on, sweetheart. I know you want me”, he whispered in my ear, and put a hand on my thigh. “No. Stop touching me. Get off”, I slurred, and tried to push him away. He just laughed. “Now, don’t play hard to get, baby”, he said, and his hand was back on my thigh. “I told you—”

“I suggest you take your hands off of her”, a dark voice spoke, and I quickly realized it was Hopper. When he didn’t comply, I tried pushing him away once more, but he didn’t react. “And who might you be?” the man asked, only leaning slightly further away from me, his hand still on my thigh. Hopper gripped his arm, and pulled him away harshly. “Her friend, who’s going to break that hand of yours if you don’t leave her alone”, Hopper threatened, towering over the man, and held him by the front of his shirt. “Now, piss off”, he ordered, and pushed him towards the door.

“Thanks, Jim”, I said carefully as he sat down. “I think it’s time to head home”, he decided. I got my wallet out, and threw some money on the counter and he did the same. Getting up, it was as if the entire bar was floating, and I grabbed onto Hopper for balance. “Well, none of us are driving”, he stated, and then looked at the bartender, “could you call us a cab?” he asked, and the bartender nodded, picking up the phone. After about thirty seconds, the bartender looked at Hopper, and told him the cab would be here in five minutes. “You wanna wait outside?” he asked, and I nodded, needing some fresh air. Hopper put an arm around me to keep me steady, and when we got outside, I leaned on the wall. Clumsily, I rummaged through my purse, and smiled when I found what I was looking for; a pack of cigarettes. I got one out, and offered Hopper one. He took it.

Then began the quest of finding my lighter. I wondered how much shit I had managed to put in my purse, but then Hopper spoke. “Here”, he said, and held out his lighter. When I reached for it, he moved his hand away. “No, I got it”, he said, not trusting my abilities to light only my cigarette. Successfully, he lit it, and I took a long drag. We smoked in silence until the cab pulled up. He made sure I didn’t fall, and that I got in without hurting myself. I told the driver my address, and he began driving.

Arriving at my place, I turned to Hopper. “You can crash here so it’ll be easier to get your car in the morning”, I slurred as I opened the door on my side. “You sure?” he asked me. “Yeah, c’mon”, I confirmed. He turned to the cab driver. Had it not been for the fact that I could barely keep my eyes open, I would protested when he paid for the ride. Hopper helped me out of the car and up to the front door. I fumbled to get my keys out, and when I eventually did, it took me a while to actually unlock the door. 

“Uhm, there’s a guest room, and then here’s a couch so you can choose where to sleep, but I think you should take the guest room, ‘cause the bed is more comfy and you’re really tall, so I don’t think the couch’s big enough for you”, I rambled, supporting myself on the couch as I took my shoes off. When I had managed that task, I collapsed in one of the lounge chairs in the living room, and felt my eyelids slowly close. “I’ll just sleep here”, I mumbled, and curled up. 

“No, come on, you’re going to bed”, Hopper said, grabbed my arm, and helped me back up. “Noooo”, I whined, and tried to sit back down, “it’s too far.” He just kept me in an upright position, and began leading me towards the bedroom. I huffed, annoyed, but didn’t have any choice but to follow him; he was halfway carrying me. Carefully, he placed me down on the bed, and told me to go to sleep before he walked back out. I was out like a light.

—

“Fuck”, I groaned when I opened my eyes, the light from the window really hurting my eyes. My head was pounding, and I was incredibly thirsty. Involuntarily, I got up, and shuffled towards the kitchen. “Shit! Jesus fucking christ!” I yelled when I crashed into someone before vaguely remembering Hopper not leaving last night. “Good morning to you, too”, he chuckled, “how are you feeling?” I just looked up at him as if he were stupid. “That bad?”

“I can’t even pinpoint the last thing I remember”, I huffed, and sat down at the kitchen table, Hopper following suit.

“Do you remember that creep?” Hopper asked, and I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. “Apparently not. I went to the toilet and when I got back there was this guy feeling you up”, he explained. 

“Ugh, gross”, I shuddered at the thought, but wasn’t able to recall the incident. I stood up, and got some painkillers from one of the cupboards, swallowing them with water. Then I drank another glass of water to try and quench my thirst. “Sorry if I did anything stupid last night”, I spoke, knowing I could be hard to deal with when I drink too much.

“Don’t worry, you didn’t do anything crazy. You just had some trouble walking”, he chuckled, and I groaned in shame. Why did I get so drunk in front of him? I could be so goddamn stupid sometimes. “Hey, it’s alright, it happens to all of us”, he said, making me think back to the night I found him drunk off his ass at Benny’s.

“Do you want some breakfast?” I offered him, checking what I had in the refrigerator. “No thanks, I gotta get into town and get my car before I head to the station”, he said, and got up from his seat. “Oh, yeah, that’s right, we parked in town. Did we get a cab home or what?”

“Yeah, a cab. Do you remember where you parked?” he asked as he put his jacket on. “Yeah, I remember”, I smiled, and he opened the door. “Bye! Have a good day!” I called out.

“Bye, Val!”

The second he closed the door, I began silently scolding myself for drinking so much the previous night. My husband was in jail, and what was my solution? Get shitfaced. Nice one, Val. Really nice. Well, there was nothing to do about it, so I poured myself a bowl of cereal, ate slowly, and then took a long shower.

When I got out, it was about an hour until my shift started. I got dressed, and watched TV until I had 25 minutes left. I put on my shoes and jacket, and began the 15 minute walk into town. The fresh air paired with the painkillers helped with the hangover, and I felt relatively fine when I got to work and started my shift.


	6. The Trial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would just like to point out that I do not live in the US, and therefore I'm not very familiar with their legal system. I did some research on it, but I still want to apologize for any mistakes I might have made.
> 
> Also, I would like to wish whoever reading this happy holidays! Hope you enjoy this time of year!

47 days after Daniel got arrested, his trial took place. My lawyer had gone over what I was supposed to say at least 100 times, but I was still quite nervous. 

I was called into the witness box. “Please stand. Do you wish to take an oath or make an affirmation that your evidence is true?” 

“Affirmation”, I said immediately.

“Read this statement.” A note was put in front of me, and I read off of it.

"I do solemnly, sincerely and truly declare and affirm that the evidence I shall give shall be the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth.”

I sat down, and looked at my lawyer. He began with asking the most basic questions.

“What is your full name?”

“Valerie Barron.”

“How long have you been married to the defendant?”

“Twelve years.”

Then he moved on to what was relevant for the case.

“For how long has the defendant been violent?”

“Since our daughter died when I gave birth to her. Seven years and almost three months ago.”

“Elaborate on the extent of his abuse in the beginning.”

“He would get drunk often, and he gets angry quicker when he’s drunk, so if I did something he viewed as wrong, he’d slap me.”

“But this escalated? When did it get worse?”

“A few months before we moved to Hawkins, he lost his job, and let his frustrations out on me. That’s when he started getting so harsh that it would leave marks on my body. Sometimes it was just one punch, but if he got really angry, he’d beat me up.”

I struggled to keep focus under Daniel’s seething stare, and the fact that I was recapping the damage he had done to me in front of strangers.

“And this kept on going when you moved to Hawkins?”

“Yes, it did.”

“What happened the night Chief Hopper found you in your car on the side of the road?”

“Daniel had seen me in Chief Hopper’s car. We’re friends, and I had walked into town, so he gave me a ride home. Daniel thought I was cheating on him, and wouldn’t listen when I tried to explain, and then he beat me up. I managed to get away, and didn’t know where to go, so I just drove around a little before parking on the side of the road. Chief Hopper recognized my car, and stopped to see if I was alright, and I wasn’t. He brought me to his place so I wouldn’t have to go back home that night.”

“Here is a picture documenting Mrs. Barron’s injuries sustained that night”, my lawyer said, handing the polaroid to the judge. The judge turned to me. “Can you confirm that this was taken by Chief Hopper that same night?”

“Yes, your honor.”

“I would like you to recount what happened right before the defendant’s arrest”, my lawyer said to me, and I took a deep breath to steady myself.

“We went out to eat for our anniversary. I thought Daniel was rude to the waitress, so I tried to mention it discreetly. We began to argue, and then Daniel had had enough, so he pulled me out of the restaurant. He pushed me against the wall, held me in place and told me that I didn’t get to talk to him like that. I tried to push him off me, and then he slapped me. Chief Hopper was on patrol, and witnessed it, and arrested him.” I tried to speak as calm and clearly as possible, and had to take a couple of breaks to gather myself as I spoke.

“Was the defendant ever controlling?”

“Very. He always wanted to know what I was doing, where I was and who I was with.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Barron, that’s all from me.”

“Defense? Anything you would like to ask Mrs. Barron?”

Daniel’s lawyer stood up, and looked directly at me.

“Do you have evidence to prove that he hurt you more times than the two which evidence has been provided for?”

“No, I do— Well, actually, I have this one little scar on my forehead, but nothing else concrete, no.”

“No hospital visits?”

“He wouldn’t let me out of the house after doing it, so no.”

“Did violence usually occur during an argument between the two of you?”

“Yes, that’s when he got angry. If I disagreed with him.”

“So you admit to escalating the situation?”

“I admit to trying to explain my side of the case to him when he was making assumptions based on next to nothing.”

“Thank you, that will be all, your honor”, his lawyer said, and sat back down. I sent Hopper who was sitting on the first bench row a desperate look. He nodded slightly, and I took that as a good sign. “Mrs. Barron, you may return to your seat”, the judge said, and I did so as quickly as I could without it looking rushed.

“You did good”, my lawyer whispered, and I smiled slightly. Hopper was next in the witness box. My lawyer asked him all the right questions, doing his best to prove Daniel’s wrongdoings. Daniel’s lawyer, on the other hand, showed no mercy at all.

“Mrs. Barron said earlier that Daniel believed you two were having an affair. Were you?”

“No.”

“But you ate together at the diner Benny’s a few times, if I’m not wrong.”

“That is correct, yes.”

“And she has spent a night at your place?”

“Yes. She was scared to go back home.”

“Where did she sleep?”

“In my bed. I slept on the couch.”

“Can you prove that?”

“No, but I’m a cop. Why would I lie in court and jeopardize my job?”

“I don’t know. But you see where I’m going, don’t you, Chief Hopper?”

“Mrs. Barron and I are good friends. Nothing more”, he stated, his eyes dark while he was staring at Daniel’s lawyer.

When they were finished with Hopper, I saw he was struggling to keep his calm as he walked back to the bench.

I zoned out when Daniel gave his explanation, and only paid attention again when my lawyer nudged my shoulder. “How does the defendant plead?”

“Guilty.”

I wasn’t surprised when he said that. My lawyer had told me that his best option was to plead guilty; it would give him less jail time.

He was sentenced to two years; possibility of parole after one year. I was very relieved when the trial was over. I could go back home and try to make everything as normal as possible.

—

The past month, I had grown closer to both Hopper and Joyce. Several times, she had invited us both over for dinner, and I absolutely loved it. We had so much fun, all five of us, laughing and joking for hours.

Hopper and I had even managed to convince her to go drinking with us a couple of times, and those nights, I would remember forever. It was hilarious, and the three of us got along so well. 

But in between those dinners and nights out, I was struggling. I felt so tired all the time, and sometimes I just zoned out, and wasn’t able to focus for several minutes. My eating habits were all over the place; some days I had a ton of food, and other days close to nothing. But I managed. I knew how to cope.

— 

A couple of weeks after the trial, I drove over to Joyce’s house to talk to her about something important. I rang the doorbell.

“Valerie, hey! I didn’t know you were dropping by. Come in”, she smiled, and I followed her inside. “Sorry, I should’ve called”, I apologized, but she shook her head. “No, no, you’re always welcome here”, she assured me, making me smile.

“There’s something I want to talk to you about”, I told her, and we sat down at the kitchen table.

“What’s going on?”

“I want to divorce Daniel”, I said for the first time out loud, and I felt a little lighter than before.

“Good. I’ve been waiting for you to say that. Hopper has too.”

“I know. And now’s a good time, cause he can’t do anything to me from jail. I don’t even want to think about what he’d do if I suggested this while he was still a free man”, I shuddered.

“I’m so glad he’s in jail. And I’m so proud of you, Valerie. You’re so brave for wanting to do this”, she smiled, and rubbed my arm.

“Thanks, Joyce, you always know what to say”, I chuckled, and my smiled widened when I saw Will coming out of his room. “Hey, buddy! How are you?” I asked him. “Good! I’m going to Mike’s house later”, he told me, and filled up a glass with water. “That sounds fun. Are you playing Dungeons and Dragons?” I asked, and he nodded in reply. “Nice, have fun tonight!” I yelled after him as he walked back to his room.

“I was thinking, maybe you and Hopper could come around tomorrow for dinner at my place? I want to talk to you both about it, and I think it’s best if it’s just us, and not your boys”, I suggested. “Yeah, I’ll get Jonathan to look after Will”, Joyce agreed.

—

The sound of the doorbell almost made me drop the plates I was carrying over to the dining table. Carefully, I set them down, and went to answer the door.

“Hey, Hop”, I smiled, and gestured for him to come in. “Smells good, what’re you making?” he asked, sniffing the air. “Carbonara”, I told him, and bolted to the kitchen to stop one of the pans from boiling over. “It’s almost done”, I chuckled, pretending everything was running smoothly, and Hopper laughed a little.

“Oh, could you get that?” I asked when I heard the doorbell again, seeing as I was in the middle of putting the food on the table. “Hey, Joyce”, I called out when I spotted her. I hurried to finish the food, put it all on the table, and ushered them to sit down. 

The first few minutes were filled with pleasant conversation, but then I took a deep breath, deciding that I needed to bring up the reason I invited them. Well, it wasn’t the only reason, spending time with them was lovely, but this was important.

“So, uhm… I’ve already told Joyce”, I began, and looked over at her to see her smiling encouragingly. I looked at Hopper, and continued. “I’m divorcing Daniel”, I told him. It took a couple of seconds before he reacted. His eyebrows lifted, and his mouth slightly opened.

“Really?” he asked, sounding perplexed and almost hopeful. I nodded, making him clear his throat, taking a little time to think of something to say. “I’m happy for you”, he settled on, and I sent him a small smile.

“I did some research. I can request something called a fault divorce. It’s exactly what it sounds like; it’ll be granted because he’s at fault. And two of the most common grounds for granting it are prison confinement and… and abuse. Also, it’s fairly quick, we aren’t required to have lived apart for so and so long”, I explained, looking down at the table the whole time, fiddling with my napkin.

“Good. That’s very good, Valerie”, Joyce spoke up, and put her hand on top of mine. I nodded, barely noticeably, as I looked up at her. “I’m seeing a lawyer tomorrow, and then I’m going to visit him to let him know he’ll be receiving some paperwork that needs signing in not too long”, I said while aggressively stabbing my food. 

“Are you sure visiting him is a good idea?” Hopper questioned me, and I looked at him with furrowed eyebrows. “He can’t do anything. The room is full of officers”, I told him. “I know that, but… I’m just worried he’ll talk you out of it or something.”

“Which is why I’m seeing the lawyer and signing the paperwork before I go see him”, I explained, knowing how convincing Daniel could be. Hopper seemed to accept this, and turned his attention back to the food.

—

Getting a divorce was quite scary to think about. But not as scary as it used to be; when Daniel was home, it was too scary to even think about at all. But now he was locked up, and would be for at least a year.

The thought of managing on my own was also frightening, but now I didn’t have a choice. I’d always thought I couldn’t make it without him. That’s what he would always say whenever we got in an argument. But with him in jail, I’d be alone either way. And I’d get used to it, so by the time he’d get out, I’d be perfectly alright on my own. Without him. 

Lost in my own thoughts, I spent 15 minutes slowly scrubbing one single plate, before snapping out of it, and putting it away to dry. I left the rest of the dishes, and began walking slowly through the house. 

Tracing my fingertips across the walls, I allowed myself to replay memories with Daniel in them. Only good ones. Memories of us watching TV, cuddled up to each other, nice dinners, nights filled with laughter, and peaceful mornings in bed.

Then I stopped at the liquor cabinet. I opened the door, and traced my fingers over the bottle of vodka before grabbing it. I got a shot glass from the kitchen, and sat down at the kitchen table where I had enjoyed a dinner with Hopper and Joyce just a couple hours earlier.

I poured myself a shot. Then another. And another. And another. Another. Another. Another, another, another, ano—

The doorbell? Clumsily, I made my way to the front door, and was confused when Hopper was the one outside.

“Wha-what’re you doin’ here?” I slurred, but tried my best to hide how drunk I was, failing when I had to hastily grab onto the door frame to keep my balance. “I, uh… forgot my hat, but what’s going on here? How much have you had to drink?” he asked, walked inside, and closed the door behind him. I took a couple of clumsy steps back, and he almost reached out to balance me. To answer his question, I just shrugged, having no clue as to how many shots I had managed to consume.

“I’ll go find your hat”, I mumbled, but lost my balance when I turned around, stumbling over my own feet. “Jesus”, Hopper grunted when he caught me by the waist. He held almost my entire body weight up, dragged me to the couch, and sat me down carefully. He turned around to look for his hat.

“I’m scared, Jim”, I admitted, and let out a sob. “What? What are you scared of?” Hopper asked, concerned. “Daniel. And of leaving him. He’s gonna be so angry”, I cried, dreading the following day.

“Listen to me. Val, listen. He can’t hurt you anymore.”

“He won’t be locked up forever! He’s gonna come for me!”

“I won’t let him, okay? And I’ll come with you tomorrow if you want to.”

“Really? I think I’d like that”, I sniffled, but then suddenly felt sick. I shot up from my seat, almost falling back down, but Hopper held me up. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “I’m gonna be sick”, I mumbled. Hopper rushed me to the bathroom, and the quick movements made it even worse. The second I grabbed onto the toilet bowl, the contents of my stomach were pushed up, and I puked. I noticed Hopper held my hair, so at least I didn’t have to worry about that. My drunken mind made a note to apologize later. 

When I was sure I was finished, I fell back on my butt, and dropped my head between my knees. “Let’s get you to bed. You need to sleep this off before tomorrow”, Hopper said, and helped me up. “You shouldn’t drink this much”, he scolded me, as he held me up by the waist. “Speak for yourself”, I slurred. He chuckled. “Touché.”

He tucked me in, and got me a glass of water that he made me drink. “Go to sleep”, he ordered gently, stroking my hair as he sat on the bed, and I wasn’t hard to beg.

—

I woke up to the phone ringing. Groaning, I got up, and walked to the phone, answering it. “Hello”, I answered it with a yawn.

_“Hey, it’s Hop.”_

“Oh. Hi.”

_“It’s 10 am now. I thought I’d call, and make sure you got up in time for the meeting with that lawyer. I saw on the note on your fridge that it’s at 11:30.”_

“Oh my god, thank you so much. I would’ve overslept if you didn’t call.”

_“Listen, I don’t know how much you remember from last night, but you said you wanted me to come with you when you go visit Daniel later today. You still want that?”_

I cringed, remembering bits and pieces from the previous night. “Yeah, I’d like that, if it’s no bother for you. You don’t have to if you’re busy.”

_“I’m not busy. When do you get home from the meeting?”_

“Maybe around 12:30, or a little later. I’m not sure. I can call when I’m home.”

_“Sounds good. I’ll drive, okay?”_

“Yeah. See you then, Hop.”

_“Good luck.”_

“Thanks. Bye.”

_“Bye, Val.”_

A little embarrassed about the night before, I silently scolded myself, as I looked through my closet for something appropriate to wear. After swearing and groaning in annoyance for about ten minutes, I settled on a dark blue skirt that went down to my knees and a beige blouse. I laid the clothes out on the bed, and went to take a quick shower. While washing off yesterday, I tried to wash away the looming dread I was feeling regarding the things that would go down the next few hours.

I dried myself off, checked the time, and saw I had about 45 minutes until I needed to leave. I put on a robe, and walked to the kitchen to make myself some breakfast. And when I say “make myself some breakfast” I really mean pour myself some cereal. I brought the bowl with me into the living room, switching on the TV. Some pointless show kept me company until I was finished eating and had to go get ready for the day. I put on the clothes I had chosen, and put on some casual makeup. I wasn’t too nervous about seeing my lawyer, but, hell, was I nervous about seeing Daniel.


	7. With Him

Signing those divorce papers was easier than I thought it would be. Reading through them, and the lawyer explaining it all to me took a little while, but signing them only took a few seconds. I felt lighter when I walked out of there. But that was soon replaced with nervousness for going to visit Daniel. At least I didn’t have to deliver the papers to him; those would be sent by mail.

The first thing I did when I got home was call Hopper on his office number. He answered on the second ring, and told me he’d pick me up in ten minutes. That meant ten minutes of nervously pacing the living room for me. When he rang the doorbell, I let out a tiny yelp before I hurried over. “Are you ready?” he asked, looking serious. I nodded before putting on shoes and a jacket, and followed him out to his truck. The fact that it was a police car provided me with some sort of false sense of security.

“Do you want me to come with you all the way, or should I wait outside?” he asked.

“I think you should stay outside. He’ll get even angrier if he sees you”, I decided.

“How come you stayed with him so long?”

“I’ve told you. I was scared. I _am_ scared.”

Hopper looked at me, unconvinced that I was telling the entire truth. He was right to be skeptical. I took a deep breath, and continued. “I’ve been scared since the beginning. First, I was scared about having a baby. Then I was scared of being alone. He kept telling me no one else cared. That no one else understood me. I wasn’t scared of _him_. I was scared of losing him.”

“You know you have me, right? And Joyce and her boys”, he reassured me, and I nodded. “I know, Hop. Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Are you seriously asking ‘for what’?” I laughed, and he looked a little confused. “Did you suddenly forget letting me stay at your place? Or taking care of me when I’m drunk, or just spending time with me in general? That’s what I’m thanking you for. And for making me open my eyes.”

He looked like he couldn’t find the right words, his mouth slightly open, and his eyebrows furrowed. “You’re a good man”, I told him firmly, and he placed his hand on my arm, squeezing gently to show that he had taken my words in, but didn’t know what to say. That was okay. I didn’t need him to say anything. Him coming with me was enough.

—

“You ready?” he asked when he had parked the car outside Tippecanoe County Jail. “Yeah”, I said, swallowing thickly. “You’ll be alright. He can’t do anything”, he said, an attempt to calm me. “I know. I know.”

“I’ll wait here. When you’re done, I’ll be right here, okay?” he spoke, and I was nervously tapping my foot. “Okay”, I mumbled, before I was brought into the visitation room. Daniel walked lazily over to the table a couple of minutes after I had sat down.

“A visit from my wife. What did I do to deserve this?” he began, and I wasn’t fully able to analyze his tone.

“I… I came here to talk to you about something”, I said, trying - and failing - to hide how nervous I was.

“Well, obviously. Now, what is it, Val?”

“Don’t call me that right now”, I snapped silently.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“In a couple of days, you’ll receive some documents. I need you to sign them.”

“Documents? What kind of— What are you talking about, Val?”

“I said not to call me that!”

“Hey! Watch your tone with me.”

“Divorce papers”, I mumbled.

“What did you just say?”

“They’re divorce papers. We’re getting a divorce. And it’s a fault divorce, so if you don’t sign, there’ll be another trial, and the judge will grant it. Prison confinement and abuse are two very valid points in this case.” I listed up facts, but didn’t look at him.

“I’m not signing shit”, he scoffed, but I leaned in close.

“If you don’t sign, I might tell someone about that time you broke my arm. Get you some extra time”, I whispered, and leaned back a little to look at him. Not a smart move. He head-butted me, and I groaned in pain as he was pulled away. 

“You better sign!” I yelled out for him, holding my nose.

“Whatever, bitch! I don’t need you! I’ll sign!” he shouted back, as he was dragged out of the room. “Are you okay, ma’am?” an officer asked me, and handed me a napkin. “Thank you. I’ll be fine, thanks. I just need to get out of here”, I said, drying away the blood from my nose, and then held the napkin under it to catch up the blood that was dripping from it. “Of course, just through this door”, he said, and held it open for me.

Hopper bolted over to me when he spotted me. “What the hell happened?” he demanded to know, as he took hold of my face to inspect it. “He head-butted me. Partially my own fault, I got too close”, I explained. “Not your fault”, he corrected me immediately, almost making me roll my eyes. He led me back out to the car.

“You won’t see him for a while now, Val”, he said, both determination and hope in his voice. “I know. Thank god for that”, I said, pretty sure I had stopped the nosebleed, but held onto the napkin just in case. “How’s your nose?” he asked, looking at me. “Not broken”, I said to him, a small smile tugging at the corners of my lips. Hopper didn’t look amused, though. “I could kill that guy”, I barely heard him mutter under his breath. My eyebrows lifted in surprise, but I didn’t respond. I couldn’t tell just how irritated he was. Not that I was scared he’d snap at me or anything; I just didn’t want to unnecessarily pull the wrong strings and create a bad mood between us.

—

It only took a week before I held the final divorce decree in my hands. I ended up with a large part of the marital property, but I still wanted to sell the house. It was too big for me. I wouldn’t rush it, though. If I were to move, it would have to be in Hawkins, and it had to be the right size. No rush. I just had to have it in the back of my mind.

I changed my surname back to Simmons, my maiden name. “Valerie Simmons. Simmons”, I mumbled to myself all day, enjoying the familiarity of it. Hopper and Joyce said they liked Simmons a lot better than Barron. I agreed.

What I wasn’t expecting, was being called into a meeting with my lawyer, and seeing another man there. “What’s going on?” I asked warily as I sat down. “Mrs Barr— Miss Simmons, I’m sorry”, he said, and I brushed it off. “This is Mr. Barron’s lawyer.”

I reached my hand out to be polite, and introduced myself. “As you’re aware of, you did get the largest part of the marital property, but Mr. Barron still owns part of the house”, my lawyer explained, and I silently begged this wasn’t going where it seemed to be going. “Yes, I’m aware”, I spoke skeptically. 

“Mr. Barron wants that money now. You need to sell it”, Daniel’s lawyer said, and let out a sharp breath. “Why does he need the money now? He’s in jail”, I asked angrily. I knew the answer. He didn’t need them. He just wanted to make my life difficult.

“None of your concern, Miss Simmons. You will have to sell the house as quickly as you can.”

I looked at my lawyer for help. “I’m sorry, there’s nothing I can do, really”, he apologized. I refused to show how much this stressed me. I had no idea where to move. “Alright. I’ll contact a real estate agent tomorrow”, I told them, and Daniel’s lawyer looked pleased.

Instead of driving home, I drove to the station. I hurried inside, and walked over to Flo. “Hello, sweetheart, how can I help you?” she smiled. “Is Hopper here?” I asked urgently. “Yes, yes, he just got back from a call. He’s in his office.” She gestured for me to pass, and I quickly thanked her. Knocking the door, I waited for him to say that it was open, and then I walked in. 

“Val, what’s wrong?” he asked when he saw the look on my face. “I have to sell the house”, I said as I slumped down in the chair across from him. “What?” 

“Daniel owns a part of it, he wants the money now. And I can’t afford to pay him, so I have to sell it”, I explained, and ran my hands through my hair; something I did when I was nervous. His hand went to his beard, he covered his mouth for a second, and then put both hands on his desk. “He doesn’t need that money. He’s just being a dick”, Hopper said, stating the obvious.

“I know, but that doesn’t change anything. I was planning on selling it, but not this soon. I- I don’t know where to go. The houses for sale in Hawkins right now are too big and expensive”, I said, looking down at the desk.

“You, uh… you could stay with me”, Hopper offered, making me snap my eyes up. “What? No, Hopper, you don’t even have a guest bedroom, I’d just be in the way. I’ll find a cheap hotel or something”, I brushed it away. “You’re not staying in a hotel. And you wouldn’t be in the way. I could just sleep on the couch.”

“That couch is shorter than you”, I chuckled, knowing he’d ruin his back if he slept on that couch for more than three days straight. “You’re right about that”, he smiled, “but it’s very comfortable. You could sleep there if you want.”

I thought it through. I didn’t want to ask Joyce. She had enough with her boys. Not that they were much trouble, but I could see how important they were to her; I didn’t want to mess up the dynamic in that house. And Hopper’s couch is comfortable. It sounded much more appealing than being all alone in a small hotel room.

“Fine. But I’m sleeping on the couch, I’m not letting you mess up your back”, I accepted, even though it made me feel a little bad. I’d do my best to contribute with buying food, doing some housework and things like that. I wasn’t going to let him have me living there for free. 

“Alright. When—” he was interrupted by the phone ringing. “I gotta get this, but let me know when you need help moving”, he said, almost sternly, knowing that I wasn’t very good at asking for help. “I will”, I assured him, and then left.

—

I called him two days later. “Hey, Hopper. I, uh… I know it’s almost Christmas, so if you’re busy, that’s fine. You can come some other time, but I’m pretty much all done packing up”, I said, every word stinging me with guilt. I hated asking for help; I felt like I was in the way.

_“I’m not that big on Christmas. I’ll be there as soon as I get off work.”_

“Really? Thank you so much. I’ll see you then.” I was smiling brightly.

_“Yeah, see you in a few hours.”_

He sounded a bit off. A little sad, perhaps. I could understand. Christmas after losing a child had to be grim. And he didn’t seem to have anyone to celebrate it with otherwise, either. My parents were alive, but I hadn’t talked to them in years. Every Christmas I had thought of giving them a call, but I never did. And neither did they. I take that as a sign that we’re alright without each other.

I looked at the time, and decided I had time to bake something Hopper and I could enjoy later. Deliberately, I had left the food for last, knowing I’d get hungry while moving. And I wasn’t about to let him help me for nothing at all in return. I knew he wouldn’t accept my money. But, hey, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, right? Well, not that that’s what I was trying to do. I had just gotten divorced.

Shaking my head to stop my train of thought, I walked into the kitchen, and took out ingredients for apple pie. Hopefully, he liked that. 

The doorbell rang just as I finished packing up the last of the food in the house. The pie had cooled down for a while. We’d have that later.

“Hey, thanks for coming”, I smiled when I opened the door, and motioned for him to come in. “No problem. It’s not like I have anywhere else to be”, he chuckled. “And, besides, I would never turn down a chance to spend time with my future roommate”, he teased as he walked past me. I laughed, and rolled my eyes before picking up a box. “Let’s fill up your car first. It’s bigger”, I instructed, and opened the front door clumsily. 

We had to fill up both of our cars with boxes. What was left was Daniel’s stuff and furniture. “What am I supposed to do with the rest of it?” I asked, wiping the sweat on my forehead with the back of my hand. “Rent some storage space”, Hopper suggested. “Yeah, I’ll do that. Do you know of any place close to here?” I asked, not wanting to have to travel far. “I’ll show you tomorrow.”

“Thanks”, I said, and slumped down in the couch. “Oh! I almost forgot. I made apple pie”, I remembered, and got right back up again. “You made pie?” Hopper smirked, one eyebrow raised. “I did. Assumed we’d get hungry at some point”, I smiled, and walked to the kitchen. In one hand I was balancing the pie, and in the other I had plates, a knife to cut it, and two small forks for us to eat with.

“Come on, sit down, Hop”, I spoke when I saw he was still standing next to the couch. “Yes, ma’am”, he laughed, and did as he was told. I lightly smacked his arm when I had put the pie down. I cut a slice for him first, and then one for me. “Best apple pie I’ve ever had”, he mumbled, mouth full of it. “I’m glad you like it”, I chuckled, and took a large bite, suddenly noticing how hungry I actually was.

“Let’s bring the rest of the pie with us”, he decided when both of us were holding our stomachs, leaning back in the couch. “Good idea. I can’t eat another crumb right now”, I agreed, and got up with a groan. I brought everything back into the kitchen, washed the plates and the utensils, and put the rest of the pie - a little under half - in a box. Then I brought everything out to my car, having deliberately placed to box with kitchen supplies in the front seat.

“See you there”, I said from my car, the window open. Hopper raised his hand in acknowledgment as he backed out of my driveway. I followed close behind, and hummed along with the radio on the drive to his trailer.

We got my boxes inside pretty quickly, and I got the most important boxes, containing things like toiletries and clothes, placed next to the couch. We had stacked some of the boxes pretty high, and I spotted one I needed on top of one of the stacks. Standing on my tippy toes, I could barely reach the lower corners. As I tried pulling the box towards me, the stack started swaying. “Shit”, I muttered to myself, and had to keep the stack from falling with my body, as I held on to the one on top. “Hopper!” I called out when I realized I wouldn’t be able to straighten it up. “What is it?” he asked from what sounded like the other side of the trailer. “Get in here! Quickly, please!” I yelled, and heard his footsteps coming towards me.

“Oh, shit”, he let out when he realized what was going on, and hurried over. He grabbed the box on top, and put it down before helping me straighten the other boxes. “Why would you try and reach the one on top by yourself? You can ask for help”, he scolded, but had a small smile on his face. “Sorry. Thought I’d be able to reach.”

“Of course you did”, he laughed, “but remember, you can barely reach the top of my head.” I faked offence when he said that, gasping and bringing a hand to my chest. “How dare you, Chief Jim Hopper?” I spoke in an overdid British accent, and reached up to pat him on his head, trying to hide that I almost had to go on my tippy toes.

His laughter made me smile fondly. It was a rare occurrence. I had heard him chuckle several times, but a full on laugh? That was something I tried my best to store in my memory. I laughed with him, opened the box he had taken down for me, got out my favorite pillow, and threw it on the couch. 

“Do you want something to drink?” Hopper offered, looking down at me. “Yes, please. What are you offering?” I asked innocently, hoping he’d pull out something - anything - with alcohol. He smirked, and walked over to where he kept his liquor. “How does whiskey sound?”

—

We both drank too much, but none of us ever mentioned it. A night where no alcohol was consumed by either of us was very rare. Now, don’t get me wrong. We didn’t get blackout drunk every night, but we both preferred to have some alcohol in our blood. 

I guess we were a good fit like that. No one yelled at the other about unhealthy habits; none of us were better than the other. We got along. Only things we would fight about were petty things; temperature, TV volume, dinner, dishes and the toilet seat. Well, I couldn’t call it fighting. It was more bickering. Almost always over in ten minutes or less. Hopper never raised his voice at me. I was very grateful for that. 

A few times, I got so drunk I could barely stand, and Hopper had to help me get to the couch if we weren’t already sitting there. It happened the other way around, too; sometimes I would have to help him get into the bedroom safely, and make sure he actually ended up in his bed.

I really liked it there. With him.


	8. Christmas Spirit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christmas was over a month ago, but oh well

“Hey, uh, Joyce? Do you think I should get Hop something for Christmas? I mean, he told me he’s not really big on Christmas, but I want to show that I really appreciate him letting me—”

“Woah, calm down, Val. It’s not that big of a deal. I think he wouldn’t mind a present from you. I think he’d enjoy it actually. Maybe you can squeeze some Christmas spirit into the guy”, Joyce calmed me down with a smile on her face. I laughed with her. “Yeah, you’re right. You know what? I think I’m gonna get some Christmas lights and decorate before he gets home from work. And then I just need to think of a present”, I said, picking up a box of Christmas lights next to the counter where I was standing, talking with Joyce. She was on her shift, but there weren’t any customers in that moment.

“Do you think he’d like a record? He’s been talking about how he loved Johnny Cash growing up”, I thought out loud, and received an optimistic nod from Joyce. “That’s a really good idea. I think he’ll love it.”

With Joyce’s encouraging words playing over and over in my mind, I quickly purchased the Christmas lights, and made my way just a little further up the street to the record store. After a few minutes of aimlessly looking, an employee came up to me, asking if I needed any help. I told him I was looking for anything Johnny Cash, he pointed in the right direction, and I thanked him. I wasn’t very familiar with his music; especially not the newer stuff, so I settled on his debut album. _Johnny Cash with His Hot and Blue Guitar_. Only thing that could go wrong was if he already had the same album at home. But, I hadn’t seen it at the trailer, so I took a chance.

When I got back to the trailer, it was 3pm. It was very rare for Hopper to be home before 5, so I had time to both decorate, and wrap and hide his present. I had only gotten two boxes of Christmas lights; one for outside and one for inside. I didn’t want to overdo it. 

The lights actually looked nice where I had managed to hang them over the door outside, and over the sofa inside. I hoped he wouldn’t mind. Worst case scenario, we’d have a small fight and then take them down. Waiting for Hopper to come home, I took the opportunity to tidy a little before starting dinner.

I ate alone. I didn’t mind at all, I was starving, and there was no way I was waiting any longer. He could just heat it up when he got home. And that he did about two hours later.

“Did you hang Christmas lights?” was the first thing he said when he opened the door. I nodded smugly, but my expression changed to a surprised one when he opened the door fully. “A Christmas tree?” I asked disbelievingly. “Yeah, you mentioned you love Christmas. And, besides, I’m not the Grinch”, he chuckled, pulling the tree inside.

“Can you just hold this up for a little? I just need to find that thing you put it in”, he said, and I walked over. “You mean the Christmas tree stand?” I smiled as I grabbed the tree. “Yeah, that”, he grumbled, making me smile even brighter. 

“Can you find it?” I called out after a couple of minutes had passed. I heard him rumbling around, and then a grunt. “Yeah, I got it”, he said, sounding a little strained.

I couldn’t help but let out a little giggle when he stumbled back into the room with the stand in his hand. “Where should we put it? I… I never had a Christmas tree here before”, he hesitated, and I looked around. “What about in that corner there?” I suggested, pointing. He thought for a couple of seconds before he nodded, and brought the stand over there. I tried to follow with the tree.

“Give it here”, he stopped me when he saw me struggling. “Thanks”, I mumbled as he took it out of my hands. To help, I sat down next to the stand, and guided the tree into it. “Yes!” I exclaimed happily, got up, and gave Hopper a hug. He chuckled, and hugged me tightly back.

“There’s leftovers in the fridge if you’re hungry. I was starving, so I ate dinner before you got home”, I said to him when I remembered the food, knowing he had to be hungry if he hadn’t stopped by Benny’s. “You didn’t have to cook for me. Especially not when I get home late, Val”, he tried to brush it off. “Yes, I did”, was all I decided to say, even though I could’ve ranted to him about that it was the least I could do, considering he let me live with him. And the fact that he never ate proper food if he had to make it himself after a too long shift.

—

It was Christmas Eve, and I had just gotten off the phone with Flo. She promised to make sure he didn’t work too late that night, and that he had the entire Christmas Day off. I had even began prepping a turkey for tomorrow’s meal. I knew he wasn’t a big fan of Christmas, but I was trying my best to make it a nice time. Hopefully, he’d appreciate it.

I also felt like it was something I was doing to try and repay him for his kindness. Constantly, I was trying to find somewhere affordable to live, but there was little to no activity on the moving front in Hawkins. The few people moving away were families, and kids who were just out of high school, moving out of their parents’ house. That meant no houses my size on the market. I felt horrible; like I was overstaying my welcome, but every time I brought it up, Hopper would fuss about it until I said I believed that he really didn’t mind. 

“Val? Have you been talking to Flo?” he asked as soon as he opened the door. I smirked as I walked towards him. “I may have been doing that, yes”, I admitted smugly. With raised eyebrows, he stepped closer to me. 

“And you made her give me Christmas Day off?”

“Well, it didn’t take much, actually. She agreed to it before I had even finished my sentence.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Something about having worked every year since you got here. And, besides, I’m not making a turkey for just me.”

“We’re having turkey?”

“Hope that’s okay.”

“Of course. It’s just… I haven’t really celebrated since…”

“I know. And I’m not saying we’re gonna take it all out. Just two friends spending a day off together with an extra nice dinner. Okay?”

“Sounds good. Thank you. I mean it.”

I smiled fondly at him before returning to the kitchen and the turkey. Hopefully, it’d turn out good.

—

When I saw a present under the tree the next morning, I couldn’t fight the grin taking over my features. I had not expected him to get me anything. With a jump in my step, I got up, and pulled out my present for him from under the couch where I had hid it. I made sure there were no tears in the wrapping before putting it next to the other one under the tree.

“Merry Christmas”, a gruff voice behind me spoke, making me stand up. “Merry Christmas”, I said back to him. He looked past me, by my feet. “You got me a present?” he asked, sounding genuinely surprised. “Don’t act so shocked, what were you expecting? I love Christmas”, I laughed, “but you didn’t need to get me anything. Letting me stay here is more than enough.”

“I like having you here. Don’t act like you’re a burden.” The sincerity in his voice made me knit my eyebrows together for just a second, before I smiled at him again. “Do you wanna open ‘em now?” I asked him cheerily. “Sure”, he chuckled, and sat down on the couch. I brought both presents over.

“Ladies first”, he smirked. “What a gentleman”, I laughed. Gently, I tore the paper off, and smiled when I saw it was a book. _Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant_ by Anne Tyler. I had been wanting to read that, but never got around to buying it; despite working in a bookstore. I suppose I chose to spend money on more important things. “Your colleague recommended it. Said you’d like it”, he spoke as I traced my fingers along it. I looked at him. “Thank you so much, Hop. I love it! Now it’s your turn”, I said, bumping his shoulder with mine. “Alright, alright”, he laughed and picked it up from the table.

“Wow, Val, I… How did you know I love Johnny Cash?” he asked me, turning the record around in his hands. “I pay attention when you talk. You’ve mentioned it a couple of times”, I told him, and saw his eyes crinkle as he smiled. “Thank you, Val, it’s perfect.”

He got up, and walked to the record player. That was definitely a good sign. When the music started, I expected him to sit back down next to me, but instead, he held his hand out for me. “What are you doing?” I asked, confused. “Come on, let’s dance”, he said, making me raise my eyebrows in surprise. “I’m a horrible dancer”, I warned, but grabbed his hand nonetheless. “That doesn’t matter”, he said, smiling down at me as he pulled me close.

I tried my hardest to deny the butterflies I felt when he smiled at me, and the burning of my skin whenever and wherever he touched me. To the tune of _Remember Me_ , he led me through a dance, and twirled me now and then, making me giggle. His big hand warmed my smaller, cold one, and his entire being warmed my insides. At the end of the song, he dipped me without warning, and I let out a shriek as I grabbed tightly onto his arm. 

“Relax, I wouldn’t drop you”, he laughed, and pulled me swiftly back up. I laughed with him. “You never know”, I teased, still holding onto him, standing a little closer than I was aware of. My eyes flicked down to his lips for just a millisecond, but he noticed. We just stood there looking into each other’s eyes, not sure of what to do. 

Then there was a knock at the door, and I nearly jumped out of my skin. “Jesus fucking christ”, I muttered, making him laugh lightly, as I walked towards the door.

“Oh, hey! Merry Christmas, Joyce!” I exclaimed when I saw it was her, and hugged her. “Hey, Merry Christmas, you guys! I thought I’d just drop by. Jonathan wanted to make Christmas dinner, and told me to leave the house for a couple of hours so I’d relax a little”, Joyce chuckled.

“He’s a good kid, that one”, Hopper spoke, “come in, Joyce.” We stepped away from the door to make room for her to come inside. “Thanks”, she said as she took off her coat. “Smells delicious in here”, she commented. “That’s all Val’s doing”, Hopper made sure to point out, and I waved my hand to say that it was nothing, really. “Oh, I try”, I joked, making them chuckle.

—

“You have got to be joking!” I nearly yelled through my laughing at Joyce’s story about that time in high school when Hopper hadn’t seen this teacher, Mr. Cooper, walk up, so he decided to sit on his cigarette to hide it. That story alone wasn’t enough to make me howl of laughter, but they had been telling embarrassing stories about each other for at least 30 minutes, and I was nearly peeing myself.

“Jeez, I can’t remember the last time I laughed this much”, I wheezed, trying to catch my breath. “Me neither”, Hopper agreed, and I swore I could see a blush tinting his cheeks from the embarrassment of the last anecdote. “This was such a good time, but I better get going. Make sure the house is still there”, Joyce chuckled, and got up from her chair. I got up as well, following her to the door, and I heard Hopper behind me. “It was great having you here”, Hopper smiled, leaning on the doorframe with his arm above me. I looked up, and realized that, wow, he was really tall. It also made me pout a little; I had for once felt a little tall next to Joyce who was a couple of inches shorter than me, but then Hopper stood next to me again, at least a head above me.

“Tell the boys Merry Christmas from us”, I called out before she got into the car. “I will”, she assured me, and closed the door. I gave her a small wave before stepping back inside. “It’s cold”, I pointed out, making my way back to the kitchen to check on the turkey. It was doing well inside the oven; well, that’s what I was hoping at least. “It _is_ the middle of the winter”, Hopper teased back, making me snort. “Really? I hadn’t noticed”, I laughed, sitting back down at the kitchen table. 

“Are you alright?” I asked him when his face went blank. He didn’t answer me, just kept staring ahead. I placed a gentle hand on his arm. “Hop?” I tried again, worried. His eyes locked with mine before he looked down to the floor. “Yeah. I just miss her, you know.” I could tell he was forcing his tears back.

“I’m sorry. We don’t have to eat that turkey. And we can take the tree out and the decorations down if you want”, I spoke softly, my hand still on his arm to keep his attention. He took a shaky breath.

“No, I want… I want new memories. Good ones”, he finally said. “Are you sure?” I asked, scared that he was just saying it because I told him how much I love Christmas. “Yeah”, he whispered, and then turned to me with a smile. “How’s that turkey doing?” 

I blinked away tears I hadn’t even noticed were there. “Should be done in not too long! You hungry?” I teased, poking his side. “Aren’t I always?” he chuckled, and I couldn’t object to that.

—

“This is really delicious”, Hopper mumbled with his mouth full of turkey. “Thanks. Just make sure it doesn’t fall out of your mouth”, I giggled as I took another bite. He just gently kicked my foot, and kept on eating. Even though he seemed happy, I couldn’t help but pay close attention to his eyes to pick up on any indications that he might not be as okay as he seems. But I couldn’t see anything, so I hoped it was genuine. 

“Are you doing this because you feel bad for me?” he asked out of the blue. Apparently, I had been wrong. I almost choked on the food in my mouth.

I took a sip of my drink, and cleared my throat. “What?”

“Staying here for Christmas.”

“I don’t have anywhere else to go”, I admitted, “but this is more than good enough.”

“Parents?”

“Haven’t spoken to them in years”, I shrugged.

“Friends?” 

“Don’t really have that many. Daniel didn’t like me spending time with them, so…”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay, Hop. Are you alright?”

“Yeah, fine.”

“You’re not, but we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to”, I said gently.

“Thanks, Val.” I shook my head, barely visible, with a warm smile directed at him; an attempt to silently tell him that he wasn’t a burden at all. He nodded, just as softly, and smiled back. We finished eating in a comfortable silence.

When he tried to start clearing the table, I stopped him. “I’m so full, let’s deal with the dishes tomorrow”, I groaned, and made my way to the couch. “Whatever you say, miss”, he chuckled, and followed me. We slumped down next to each other, and I closed my eyes. “I can’t remember the last time I was this full”, I spoke, not bothering with opening my eyes. “I can’t either. You’re a mean cook, Val”, he answered, making me smirk. “You gotta stop contributing to my ego.”

“Oh, yeah, ‘cause you’re so egocentric.” I could hear the sarcasm in his voice, and it made me snort. The rest of the night was spent watching TV and drinking beer. Then I must’ve fallen asleep, because next thing I know, I woke up because it was bright outside. I sat up, and noticed Hopper had placed my blanket over me. At least that’s what I assumed, as I had no memory of doing so myself.

Hearing cluttering from the kitchen, I turned my head to see what it was. “Hopper!” I whined when I saw he was almost done with all the dishes from last night. “Good morning”, he laughed at my first words that day. “I would’ve helped you with that”, I pouted, as I rubbed my eyes tiredly. “You made the best dinner I’ve had. It’s only fair I do the dishes”, he smiled, making me roll my eyes and let out a small laugh. I heard him laughing lightly as he kept on washing, and I slid back in the sofa, curled up with my blanket, and enjoyed the feeling of calmness.

—

The following day, I had to work. It was much busier than usual, what with people coming in to either exchange what they had gotten with something else, or get money instead. 

“Bye! Have a nice day, Flo”, I grinned as she walked towards the door, and she waved back. She had gotten two copies of the same book, and had come in to exchange one of them for a different one. 

“Hi, what can I do for you?” I greeted the next customer in line. She looked to be a few years older than me, and had blonde hair. “You’re living with the Chief, aren’t you?” she asked, her tone toxic and gossipy. 

“Yeah, and?”

“Just thought you should know what he’s like. He’s been with most of the single women in the area.”

“That’s none of my business.”

“You’re living with him. No way you two haven’t—”

“Listen. It’s not like that. He’s my friend. He’s helped me, and now he’s letting me stay with him until there’s something on the house market here in Hawkins that fits me. That’s it.”

“That’s not what town talk is saying.”

“Well, then ‘town talk’ is wrong”, I laughed, finding it ridiculous how it seemed like she was living in a high school-like world where gossip was the gospel truth. She seemed taken aback, and just left the store in a hurry. I raised my eyebrows in amusement before turning my attention to the next customer, who seemed familiar with how rumors travelled in Hawkins; she rolled her eyes with a smile on her face.

—

Even though gossip didn’t matter to me, the mention of there being something more between Hopper and me, made me think of the moments before Joyce knocked on the door. Was I the only one who had felt something, or did he feel something too?

I wasn’t exactly sure what _something_ was. But it was certainly more than just plain friendship. Or was it just because of the lighthearted moments of the dancing just before? I tried to stop dwelling on it, as Hopper was sitting across for me, and we were having dinner.

“How was work?” he asked, mouth full of food. I smiled slightly. “Very busy”, I sighed, and decided to leave out the ‘town talk’. It would just make things unnecessarily awkward. “What about you?”

“Quiet. Most people are just at home doing nothin’ between Christmas and New Years”, he told me, and wiped his mouth with a napkin. “Must be nice”, I commented. “Yeah. It can get boring, though”, he said before taking another big bite. 

Conversations over dinner were always nice. They were of light nature, and I found him very easy to talk to. Even more so as time passed, and we got to know each other better. Whenever silences occurred, they weren’t awkward. There was no need to fill them with forced conversation.


	9. A New Year

“There’s a letter for you!” Hopper called out when he came back from checking the mailbox. Confused, I stood up from the sofa. “Are you sure? I haven’t registered my address here or anything.” He handed it to me. “Your name is Valerie Simmons, isn’t it?” he smirked, and walked to the kitchen. I sat back down and opened it. 

My curious look turned into a blank one.

 

_Valerie,_

_I hear you’re living comfortably with the Chief. I’m not even_  
_going to guess what you did to make him agree to it. You_  
_haven’t changed since the first time we met, and you wanted_  
_free drinks._  
_Anyway, I just thought I should let you know that I’m on my_  
best behavior in here. They say I have good chances of  
_walking out here after serving minimum penalty. I guess_  
_I’ll see you again around Thanksgiving._  
_Don’t try hiding from me. I will find you. You’ll make it worse_  
_by running to the Chief._

_Daniel_

 

Upon finishing it, I immediately crumbled it up. I clenched my fist shut, and stared ahead. “What was it?” Hopper asked casually, as he made his way to the couch to sit down. “Uh…” I trailed, and couldn’t find my focus. I noticed he stood in front of me, and then knelt down to be at eye level with me. “Val?”

I shook my head. His eyes flicked down to my fist that was white from clenching it so hard, and took hold of it. Gently, he pried my fingers open, and took the letter. When I didn’t move to snatch it back, he uncrumpled it. I pulled my legs up to my chest as he read through it. “Look at me”, he demanded carefully, and I moved my eyes to him.

“You’re getting that restraining order. He can’t hurt you. I won’t let him.” He sounded firm, but I couldn’t help but shake my head no. “You don’t know him. He won’t care about some piece of paper. He always gets his way.” I was still a little out of it, but when he placed a hand on my knee, I grabbed onto it to try and ground myself. It helped a little.

“You can stay here as long as you want. Doesn’t matter if you find somewhere else to live.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Well, I can’t let you leave knowing that you won’t be safe.”

“I’ll be fine!”

“You won’t, Val!”

He raised his hands, and I flinched, pushing him away, not realizing he was just moving them to his head in frustration. Grabbing onto the couch, he steadied himself. “I-I’m sorry, I just…” I mumbled.

“Valerie… I’d never… I would _never_ hurt you like that. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you”, he spoke in almost a whisper.

“I didn’t mean to push you.”

“I know.”

“I, uh… I gotta get ready for work”, I said, and walked quickly to the bathroom. I got in the shower, and let myself cry it out. As quietly as possible, I scolded myself for zoning out so far that I actually pushed Hopper. I felt awful. I finished after about 20 minutes. 

Just wanting to get out and breathe, I got ready quickly, and rushed out of the door. “Bye!” I yelled to Hopper who was sitting by the kitchen table. “Val, ca—” I slammed the door, not ready to hear whatever he was going to say. It made me feel a little bad, but I ignored it, drove into town to work, and prayed Hopper wouldn’t use his lunch break to come visit me in the bookstore.

—

After work, I went straight to the nearest bar. “Three shots of vodka and a strong gin and tonic, please”, I spoke as I sat down, my voice monotone. I just needed… I needed to not think. My mind had been distracting me all day, and I felt like I was about to snap. I drank quickly enough to prevent my common sense from telling me that this wasn’t a very good idea.

Through the course of the night, I just kept ordering drinks until the bartender wouldn’t serve me anymore. “I’m sorry, but you’ve had enough. Do you want me to call you a cab?” he offered, and I rubbed my forehead. “Can I just borrow the phone?” I slurred, holding onto the counter for dear life; the room was spinning. “Of course”, he said, got it from under the counter, and put it in front of me with a sympathetic smile on his face.

Surprisingly, I managed to remember the number to Hopper’s phone on the first try, and waited impatiently for him to answer. When he didn’t, I let out a frustrated cry, and slammed the receiver down. After thinking for a couple of seconds, I decided to try and call the station. 

_“Officer Callahan”_ , someone answered.

“Hey, I’m Valerie, is Jim there?” I asked slowly, focusing on pronouncing the words so they were understandable.

_“Oh god, finally. He’s been looking for you for hours. Where are you?”_

“A bar. Uhm… Next to the… the hair salon”, I remembered.

_“Stay there. The Chief’ll come get you, okay?”_

“Sure”, I mumbled, and hung up. “Please, just one more shot?” I begged, and it was a miracle the bartender could make out what I was saying. “I’m sorry, but no. You’ve had more than enough.” I groaned, displeased, and almost fell off the barstool, but managed to grab onto the counter quickly enough to avert it. 

I spent the next ten minutes groaning and complaining to myself, while trying to keep my balance. I huffed annoyed when someone opened the door, and a cold breeze hit me. “Close the door”, I whined. “Jesus christ, Val, you scared the shit out of me. I’ve been looking for you for hours”, I heard a familiar voice complain, and turned towards it when I realized it was Hopper. “Heyyy, Jim”, I smiled lazily, and tried to get down from the barstool, but ended up needing his help. He spoke to the bartender, but I didn’t pick up their words. I just looked at him, and he kept me steady with an arm around my waist.

“Let’s go”, he said, looking down at me. “Where?” I asked, but started walking when he did. “Home”, he told me, and I nodded in realization. His car was parked just outside, but I still managed to trip on the way, making him hold me up. He helped me into the car, and put my seatbelt on before walking around the car to get in the driver's seat. 

“You good?” he asked me as he drove out of the town centre. “Mhm”, I confirmed, and relaxed to the sound of the tires against the road, and the soft music from the radio. It made me fall asleep rather quickly, and by the time we parked outside the trailer, I was leaning on the window, my mouth slightly open. 

I barely registered Hopper shifting me so that he could open the door on my side without me falling out. He unbuckled me, put one arm under my knees and the other around my shoulders, hoisting me up. I was too far gone to protest and tell him that I could walk by myself, and suddenly I was on the couch. He took my shoes and jacket off, and then I was fully asleep again. 

—

“What?” I sighed, and lazily opened my eyes, noticing a hand on my shoulder. “I have to go to work. There’s water and painkillers right there”, Hopper said, pointing to the table in front of the couch, “will you be okay alone?”

“Yeah, I’m fine”, I yawned, and grimaced at the headache. “Lucky you don’t have a shift today”, he chuckled, and stood up from where he had kneeled to be at my level. “See you later”, I mumbled, and forced myself to sit up to take a couple of painkillers before going back to sleep.

The next time I woke up a few hours later, my first thought was that _I should really stop drinking_ , and I got up because I was hungry. In a daze, I fried a couple of eggs and some bacon, and ate while watching TV. 

On the small table next to the sofa, I spotted the letter, and something about it just triggered everything, and I couldn’t stop the tears that were suddenly forming in my eyes. Soon, I was sobbing out loud. I cried about everything that had happened the past few months. How my life had turned upside down.

I cried, and cried, and cried, and cried until — “Val?” I hadn’t heard him come in. I tried to calm down and wipe the tears away. “What are you doing here?” I managed to ask. “I forgot my— nevermind that, what’s wrong?”

“I’m fine! I just need some time alone, okay? Can you please just get whatever you forgot, and leave? I need to breathe!” I snapped, and ran into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. “Valerie! Wha—” “Not now!” I screamed, so utterly frustrated, I felt like I was going to explode. I just needed to be alone to let my feelings take over for a little while so that they weren’t in the way. “Please—” “I said _not now!_ ”

“Call the station if you need anything. I’ll be home tonight”, he sighed, and not even a minute later, I heard him drive off. I let out a huge breath, and slid down with my back against the bathroom door. My fists curled, I banged on the floor, and screamed, desperate to let it all out. 

Almost hysterically, I got out of the bathroom again, and paced the trailer, eventually calming down significantly. My outburst emotionally drained me, but I needed some fresh air. I didn’t know how long I’d be out, so I wrote a note for Hopper, in case he got home first.

 

_Sorry I snapped at you. Out for a walk, don’t know when I’ll be back._

_Val_

 

I put on a reasonable amount of clothing, not wanting to have to go back early because I was cold, and then just walked. I wasn’t sure where, but I made sure not to get lost.

My thoughts seem to clear up more by each step I took, and I felt lighter than I did before my outburst. It felt good now that I had calmed down. I felt less frustrated and less stressed. But I couldn’t completely get rid of the feelings of anxiety. I was anxious about seeing Hopper, about what would happen the next few months, about Daniel, about everything really. But it wasn’t overwhelming. It was in the background, and that was fine.

The darkening sky and my rumbling stomach told me it was time to start heading home, and in less than an hour I was back. I had been walking around for hours. The sight of Hopper’s car made me smile. I just hoped he wasn’t mad at me. Even though I was calm, an argument at that moment would’ve taken a toll on me. I was tired. Both emotionally and physically.

“Hey”, I smiled softly when I opened the door, and saw Hopper sitting on the couch. “How was your walk?” he asked, and stood up. “It was nice.” I shrugged off my outdoor clothing, and took my boots off. “I’m sorry”, I said sincerely, and stood in front of him, making him look at me. “There’s nothing to be sorry about”, he assured me, and pulled me into a comforting hug. I melted into it, rested against his chest, and smiled when I felt him press a kiss on my head. “You alright?” he murmured, and I nodded. “Good. That’s good. You hungry?” he asked as he let go of me. “Definitely”, I answered. “I went to Benny’s earlier, and brought food home. Yours is in the refrigerator. I hope that’s okay”, he explained, and I turned to get it. “That’s perfect”, I said, took it out, and put it in the microwave to heat it. 

I noticed Hopper was watching me more intently than usual, and I just wanted to tell him that I was fine. I wasn’t going to snap again. Not in the nearest future at least. But I didn’t say anything. If making sure I was fine made him feel better, I’d let him do that.

“New Year’s Eve in two days”, I commented when he kept quiet, “are you working then?”

“No, but they can call me in if it they need me. Usually pretty busy on New Year’s.”

“I hope they don’t”, I smiled.

“Why’s that?” He looked amused and curious.

“Who else am I going to celebrate with?” I asked as if it was the most natural thing.

“Still not tired of me?” he chuckled, making me snort.

“Getting there”, I joked, and continued eating as Hopper laughed. His laugh rumbled in his chest, and I couldn’t help but purely enjoy the sound of him being happy.

—

“What do you say we just pick up some food from the Chinese take out, do nothing all day, and then we go outside to watch the fireworks?” I suggested over breakfast on the 31st. “I say that sounds perfect”, Hopper agreed, and took a big gulp of water. “Good, ‘cause that’s all I feel like doing”, I laughed, relieved he didn’t really care that much about taking holidays all out. Christmas was the one holiday I really cared about, but with the rest, I wasn’t that intent on celebrating full scale.

I took a quick shower after breakfast, and then we just did next to nothing for a little while. I read for a bit, we watched TV, I cleaned a little until Hopper told me to relax instead, and we talked. It was very nice.

“Wanna go get food?” I proposed, both because it was almost seven at night, and I was starving. “Let’s go”, he agreed, and stood up. We both quickly got dressed, and sat in Hopper’s car. The roads were icy, so he drove a little slower than usual. 

We parked outside the Chinese restaurant, and the smell made my stomach growl. When we stepped inside, I noticed the few people that were there, were staring at us. I ignored it when I ordered the food, but while we were waiting for the food to be ready to take with us, I felt uncomfortable. “Why are people staring?” I whispered, leaning close to Hopper who was sitting next to me so that no one would hear. “Just ignore ‘em. They’re all about gossip. Small town, you know”, he whispered back. “Yeah”, I chuckled lightly, thinking about that woman who approached me at work the other day. 

“Here’s your food”, the waiter said, setting it all on the counter. “Let me pay, please”, Hopper said, and I could hear in his voice that he wasn’t going to back down, so I just thanked him. 

Back at the trailer, we set the food out on the sofa table, and turned on the TV, getting ready for a lazy night. “You want a beer?” Hopper asked as he opened the refrigerator. “I’d love one”, I said, slumping down in the couch.

“I’m not getting drunk tonight, though”, I warned him after taking the first sip of the ice cold beer. “Neither am I”, he chuckled, and sat down next to me. I went for the noodles I had chosen, and he picked up the spring rolls. Really craving one, I quickly stole one from him. “Hey!” he laughed, faking offense. “Couldn’t help myself”, I smirked as I took a big bite. “You’re lucky I like you”, he teased, making me blush just a little. He probably didn’t mean it in that way, but I’m allowed to hope, aren’t I?

“Any resolutions for 1983?” he asked me. Without thinking, I shook my head. “Haven’t bothered in years, I never keep up to them”, I admitted, “what about you?” He shrugged, and took a sip of his beer. “What do you say we both cut down on drinking?” he smirked, making me raise an eyebrow. “Alright, deal”, I smiled, putting out my hand to shake his. Amused, he took it, and squeezed tightly. “Deal”, he chuckled.

—

“Oh, it’s almost midnight”, I realized, “we should go outside.” I was looking forward to the fireworks. We had heard a few through the course of the evening, but now, they were more frequent, as the new year was only seven minutes away. Hopper agreed, and I excitedly got up to get dressed. With the temperature below freezing, I put on a warm sweater under my winter coat, and wrapped a large scarf around my neck.

Outside, a cold wind reddened my cheeks and froze my fingers until I couldn’t feel them. I lifted myself up and down on my toes to try and stay warm. Hopper seemed unfazed by the cold. “How are you not freezing?” I asked, shivering a little. “I’m just chronically warm”, he smirked, making me roll my eyes. “What a condition that must be”, I teased back. 

Three minutes left of 1982. I was ready to leave that year behind. Even though days, months and years are just human made concepts, it felt good to have something that could remind of a filter at the end of each year. The filter catches the bad parts, and keeps them in the past, but it lets the good parts through. For as long as possible, I’d like for Daniel to be caught in the filter, and for Hopper to glide easily through it.

Two minutes left, and I couldn’t control my shivering. “C’mere”, Hopper said, and put an arm around me, pulling me against him. “Thanks”, I smiled, trying to keep my breathing calm and pick up some of his body heat at the same time. Ending the year in the Chief’s arms was not something I could’ve dreamt up when I moved to Hawkins. But there I was, leaning into his side, watching the fireworks in awe.

One minute left. I kept turning to look at the clock on the wall inside, paying close attention to how many seconds were left. When there were only ten seconds left, I grabbed onto the front of Hopper’s jacket, very excited, jumping slightly up and down. He chuckled at my childish behavior, and squeezed my upper arm gently.

_Three, two, one._

“Happy New Y—” He interrupted me mid sentence. By kissing me. For just a microsecond, I was stunned, but then my arms made their way around his neck. He held me against his chest, and then pulled away, but not more than an inch. “Happy New Year, Val”, he smiled, and I just looked at him with surprise and delight in my eyes.

I couldn’t help but stand on my tiptoes, and press another kiss to his lips. Did that just happen? I wasn’t completely able to process it. “Let’s go back inside, you’re freezing”, he mumbled, and kissed my forehead. I couldn’t stop smiling. With a hand on my back, he led me back inside. 

He sat back down on the couch, and gestured for me to sit close to him. Still cold, I certainly didn’t oppose it, and cuddled up to him as he pulled me even closer. With an arm draped across him, I rested my head on his chest, closing my eyes in content, and I just relished in the feeling of being close to him.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while”, Hopper said, his words ever so slightly muffled by my hair. “Me, too, Jim”, I smiled, burying my face in his chest to hide my blush. He chuckled, and began running his hand slowly up and down my arm. If he was aiming to make me sleepy, his plan definitely worked, as my eyelids began closing by themselves, and I let myself fall asleep in his arms.


	10. Even Closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nsfw ;))

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was that I was much warmer than usual. And an unfamiliar weight on my waist. I opened my eyes, and quickly realized his arm was holding me around the waist, and his body heat was what was keeping me warm. A dazed smile made its way to my lips as I remembered what had happened just a few hours ago. I relaxed, and absentmindedly drew figures on his chest with my fingers, waiting for him to wake up.

His arm tightening around me was the first sign of it. I tilted my head up to look at his face, and studied his serene features as he slowly woke up. When his eyes opened, I didn’t look away, but smiled tiredly when we made eye contact. “Good morning”, I spoke softly. “Good morning”, he answered, and kissed my forehead, making my heart flutter. “Tonight, we’re sleeping in my bed. This couch is way too short”, he groaned before sitting up, bringing me with him. He stretched his back out, and I winced. He was literally almost a foot longer than the couch, and it was definitely not made for two people to sleep on for an entire night. “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea”, I agreed, smiling a little guiltily, feeling bad for falling asleep so we had to stay on the couch.

“So, about last night—” “I like you. I really like you”, I blurted out, interrupting him, just needing to get that out there. He just smiled, and leaned in for a kiss. I met him halfway, and cupped his face with my hands, feeling his beard scratch my palms and my face. He deepened the kiss, and I mumbled against his lips: “I haven’t brushed my teeth.” “I don’t care”, he told me, and that was all I needed to let myself get lost in it. His hands moved to my waist, and he pulled me onto his lap. He squeezed my sides and bit my bottom lip at the same time, making me gasp slightly, which also granted his tongue access. I let out a small moan, but we were interrupted by a knock at the door. Jim pretended not to notice, and moved his mouth to my neck instead.

“Jim”, I giggled, “we can’t just ignore it like it’s a phone call.” He huffed displeased when I stood up to answer the door, but followed behind me. The man outside was not someone I recognized, and when I turned to Jim, it didn’t look like he knew him either. 

“Can I help you?” I asked politely. The man smiled, but I couldn’t quite analyze his expression. “I’m Joe Larson, a friend of your husband—” _“Ex_ -husband”, I corrected him immediately. “Sorry, ex-husband. You owe him twenty dollars”, he stated casually, and I laughed disbelievingly. “Excuse me?” I said, folding my arms, my stance defensive. I felt Jim’s hand on my back. “I spoke with him earlier, and he said to come here and get his twenty bucks”, he explained, and I was so stunned, that I just pulled an offended face. “I think it’s best if you leave”, Jim spoke up, moving so he was standing next to me instead of behind me. 

“I’m not leaving until I have those twenty dollars in my hand, Valerie”, he said, towering over me, but I stood with my feet planted, refusing to step down. “Alright then, why do I owe him money, _Joe_?” I asked. “Something about take-out you ordered the night before your anniversary. He thinks it’s unfair that he paid for your food only to get arrested the next day.”

“You can’t be serious”, I scoffed, shaking my head. “He’s in _prison!_ He doesn’t need that money!” I felt myself beginning to lose my calm, and tried to focus on Jim’s hand on my back. “Regardless, he wants it. Now”, he said, his voice suddenly lower, and he stepped even closer. “Get back”, Jim ordered, putting his arm out, and pushed him lightly. He grabbed his wallet from his pocket. “Here’s twenty bucks. Piss off, and don’t come near her again. Clear?” Jim spoke through gritted teeth, standing in front of me as he handed him the money. Joe put his hands in the air to show he wouldn’t do anything, walked away from the trailer, and sat in his car. I frowned as he drove away.

“Why can’t he just leave me alone?” I muttered, pulling my hair in frustration. “If anything like that happens when I’m not around, you let me know right away”, Jim said, gently taking hold of my upper arms. “Yeah, yeah”, I replied distantly, my eyes moving around, unable to keep a focal point. “Val”, he said, moving his hands to my face, and I looked at him. “I won’t let anyone hurt you.” His sincere tone made my stomach ache, and I felt bad for pulling him so far into this mess. 

“I’m sorry”, I whispered.

“What?” He looked like I had hurt him, and it made me feel even worse.

“For making my problems yours. That he’s a part of your life, and not just mine.” I reached for my bag on the counter next to the door, and took out my wallet. “Here”, I said, trying to hand him twenty dollars.

He just swatted the money away. “This isn’t something you should be going through alone. Do you think I’d be here if I didn’t care?”

I reached out for his chest, and grabbed a fistful of his flannel, tugging desperately to try and make him see reason. “What if you get hurt? Or something happens to you? I couldn’t live with myself, Jim!”

“Valerie, why can’t you see that I want this? I want you and everything that comes with it. The good and the bad.”

“Would you take the money, _please_?” I begged, making another attempt to put the bill into his hand. 

“I don’t want it. Twenty bucks to make that guy disappear was well worth it. Keep your money, Val. You pay for far too much around here, either way.”

I bowed my head in defeat, and leaned on his chest. “You’re too good to me”, I mumbled. “Not possible”, he whispered, and pulled me close, running his hand up and down my back comfortingly. I held onto him for dear life, scared out of my mind about what would happen if he disappeared. He was the most important person in my life, but I wouldn’t tell him that. Not yet, at least.

“You alright?” he asked, and kissed my temple. I nodded, but refused to let go of him. “I’m not usually this… this fragile. Everything’s just… a bit much right now, and I’m obviously not very good at handling it”, I said, my words slightly muffled by his shirt. “That’s okay”, he assured me, and stepped back, looking down at me. His thumb wiped away tears I didn’t even know were there, and I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to calm myself.

“Do you wanna go to Benny’s for some greasy, delicious food?” he asked me, smiling. I let out a small laugh. “Definitely.” I put my hands on his chest, and stood on my toes for a short kiss, enjoying the new dimension to our relationship, before we went out the door.

The short drive was silent, and I got time to sort through some of my thoughts, calming down even further. I noticed him glancing over now and again, but I think it was pretty obvious that I was lost in my own mind, so he didn’t say anything.

“I’m so hungry”, I said as we got out of the car, remembering I hadn’t eaten anything that day yet. It was quite early for a burger, but I didn’t care, and silently thanked Benny for opening this early. “Oh, me too”, Jim said, and opened the door for me. “Thanks”, I smiled as I walked past him.

“Hey, Benny”, I greeted him when I spotted him wiping a table in the corner. “Good to see you! And Happy New Year”, he said, and brought me in for a short hug. He was a big teddy bear. “Hey, Hop, how’s it going?” he asked, and picked up some dirty dishes to bring back into the kitchen. “It’s good. This one right here’s been talking with Flo behind my back, so I have the day off”, he answered, gently bumping my shoulder, and I smiled sheepishly. “Good, Val. He works too much, if you ask me”, Benny commented.

“You see? It’s not just me and Flo!” I exclaimed, a smug look on my face, and a hand on Jim’s arm to get his attention. He brushed it off, knowing we were right, but didn’t want to admit to it. 

“We’ll have what we usually have”, Jim announced, changing the subject. “You got it”, Benny chuckled, and disappeared into the kitchen. We sat down in a booth, across from each other. I just sat there, admiring how handsome he was. “What?” he asked when I hadn’t moved my gaze from his face for at least ten seconds. “Nothing”, I smiled, and looked down at my hands. He chuckled, and I looked back up, meeting his eyes.

I felt like a teenager again. All these feelings; it had been so long since I felt anything close to it. It made me giddy, really. Not that that was a bad thing. It was just so unfamiliar and something I vaguely remembered from when I was young and love was a fairytale.

“Here you go”, Benny said, placing our food in front of us. “Thank you”, I grinned, excited to eat the first burger of 1983. I liked remembering the firsts of each year, and I almost always wrote it down. The first song I listened to in 1982 was _Run For Your Life_ by The Beatles.

“This burger never disappoints”, Jim said, his mouth full. “Agreed”, I said, and took a large bite. Benny brought a chair over, and sat at the end of the booth. “How’s the new year treating you?” he asked us, stealing a couple of fries from Jim. “We’re here, aren’t we? Burgers aren’t all that bad of a start”, I answered, nervous Jim might mention what happened earlier that morning. I didn’t actually think he would, but I just had to take away the possibility. “When you start out this good, how’s the rest going to be? This is it; the best thing in all of Hawkins. It can only go downhill from here”, Benny joked, making me laugh wholeheartedly. Hopper laughed with as well, and reminded me how lovely that sound was.

“And how are you, Benny?” I asked him, and he shrugged. “Same old, same old. Business is good, so there’s nothing to complain about”, he smiled, and got up. “Speaking of, I got stuff to do.” He pointed to the kitchen before walking off. “See you around!” Jim called out. “See ya!” Benny answered, waving at us. 

“Have you ever actually seen that _Joe_ guy around? I didn’t recognize him”, I asked Jim when we were alone. He shook his head. “Never seen him”, he said. “Once was enough”, I muttered. “Couldn’t agree more. If you see him again, and I’m not there; walk the other way, okay? Doesn’t matter where you’re going, just try your best and avoid him. I’m not saying he’s dangerous, but you never know. I need you safe”, Jim instructed seriously, and I fought back a fond smile, but I couldn’t help my next words. “You got it, Chief.”

—

Once we were back in the trailer, Jim’s hands went to my waist. He pulled me to him, and I leaned up to meet his lips. I cupped his face for a couple of seconds before moving my hands to the back of his neck. Without breaking apart, he led us to the kitchen, and lifted me up so I was sitting on the counter. Almost instinctively, I wrapped my legs around him, and at the same time, I opened my mouth, deepening the kiss. Jim had one hand on my thigh, and the other one was on the back of my head, pulling my hair gently. He quickly realized that I liked it, as I let out a moan. In return, he let out a throaty groan, and squeezed my thigh. 

Wanting more of him, I grabbed onto his unbuttoned flannel, and pushed it off his shoulders, leaving him in a short sleeve t-shirt. I ran my hands down his arms slowly, then up again, and to his chest, grabbing onto his shirt. His rough hands made their way under my sweater, and soon enough, he was holding the bottom of it, tugging it upwards. We only pulled apart for a couple of seconds to get my sweater off. 

The sudden feeling of cold air against my bare skin gave me goosebumps, but when he started kissing my neck, I forgot it in an instant. I grabbed onto his hair, and then he had lifted me up. He walked to the bed, and sat down at the end of it, me straddling him. I pulled his t-shirt off, and ran my hands over his chest as I leaned in to meet his lips again. The kiss was heated, and when his hands found my hips, I couldn’t help but grind down on him, feeling his excitement. He groaned, and reached around my back to unhook my bra. A few seconds of fiddling later, it was thrown on the floor, and his mouth moved lower again. His tongue ran over my nipple, and I gasped, grinding again. 

He took hold of my waist, turned us around, and put me down. He quickly got rid of his jeans, and I unbuttoned mine only for him to pull them off before he climbed on top of me, hovering. “You’re so goddamn beautiful”, he whispered. Flustered, and not knowing what to say, I pulled him down, kissing him passionately. His big, warm, rough, calloused hands roaming my body drew moans from me, and I lightly clawed at his back. 

I was beginning to feel frustrated by the final layer of clothing between us, and reached down to cup him through his boxers. He moaned, and thrusted against my hand. Pleased by his reaction, I tightened my grip ever so slightly. “You’re driving me crazy, Val”, he murmured against my lips, and I let out a content hum before slowly moving my hand to the hem of his boxers, tugging. He helped take them off, and groaned when I grabbed a hold of him, moving my hand slowly up and down. He sucked on my neck, surely leaving marks. I kept on moving my hand slowly, sometimes letting my thumb graze over the tip, earning breathy moans each time. 

When he suddenly pressed a finger down on my clit, I moaned loudly. “Jim”, I gasped, shivering. He moved his fingers in a circular motion, and I was very grateful when he pulled my panties down. Then he kissed down my body, slowly getting close to where I needed him the most. Teasing me, he left small kisses up and down my inner thighs, before finally placing one on my heat. He let his tongue work on my clit, and moved his fingers to tease my entrance. “Please”, I desperately begged, pulling on his hair. His mouth on my clit, his beard scratching and tickling my inner thighs, and his fingers just lightly brushing over my folds was magic, but I wanted more. “I need you, Ji— ah!” I exclaimed when he pushed two fingers inside of me. He didn’t keep going for very long, but that was good; I was getting close and didn’t want to cum just yet. 

“Condom”, I mumbled as he climbed on top of me again. He reached for a drawer on the bedside table, and fished one out. “No, give it to me”, I said when he went to open it. I got out from beneath him, and had him lay on his back. Maintaining eye contact, I kissed his tip, and then moved my lips around him, bobbing my head slowly up and down a few times before opening the wrapper. I held onto the tip, and rolled it gently down his length.

My breathing was uneven as I climbed on top of him. Steadying myself with a hand on his chest, I used my other hand to guide his tip to my entrance, and slowly sat down, letting him fill me up. Something in between a whimper and a moan escaped my lips, and he grunted loudly while holding me steady by my hips. When he was completely inside of me, I sat still for a few seconds, adjusting to his size before placing both hands on his chest and starting to move slowly. “God, you’re incredible, Val”, he grunted, making me blush. While thrusting gently up to meet my movements, he still supported some of my weight, helping me move by holding my hips with strong hands. Everytime he filled me up, I let out a moan, and earned a loud groan from him when I started rolling my hips slightly as well.

Then he moved his hands to my waist, and flipped us over so I was under him again. He kissed me before starting to thrust in and out of me. I cried out in pleasure when lifted my leg, letting him get even deeper, stretching me out. “You feel so good”, I breathed, and shivered slightly when he moved his face to the crook of my neck, breathing heavily, kissing, and his beard tickling me. My fingernails dug into his back, making his thrusts a little more intense. “Fuck, please, harder”, I begged, and I didn’t need to ask twice. I felt him so deep inside me, and moaned his name loudly. 

The sound of him moaning my name helped bring me closer and closer to the edge. I felt my climax begin to build up, and my moans increased in volume alongside it. “I’m close”, I let him know, and immediately his hand moved to my clit, making me cry out. “Oh, shit, Jim!” His thrusts became sloppier; I could tell he was close, too. 

The combination of him deep inside me, his thumb pressing down on my clit and his teeth grazing the side of my neck threw me over the edge into an intense orgasm. My toes curled, my body shook, and my walls clenched around him; making him cum as well. He let a little more of his weight rest on top of me, but I didn’t mind; I loved feeling him close. We caught our breaths before he pulled out of me slowly, both of us letting out a groan. He rolled off me, quickly disposing of the condom, then lied back down, and I pressed a short kiss to his chest. 

“I hope this isn’t just a one-time thing”, I whispered, halfway joking, halfway not. “Definitely much more than a one-time thing”, he assured me, sounding serious, as if he could sense my insecurities about him actually feeling something towards me.

“I just need to pee before I fall asleep”, I said, and sat up. As I walked to the toilet, still naked, I tried not to blush under his gaze. I finished my business in the bathroom as quickly as I could, wanting to get back into bed and his arms. 

The cold floor gave me goosebumps, and I pressed myself close to him to get warm again. He held me tight, running his fingers slowly across my back, soothing me closer and closer to sleep. The last thing I remembered before falling asleep was the sound of his heartbeat and the feeling of him kissing the top of my head.


	11. Heavy

I woke up to notice him looking at me. Blushing, I buried my face in his chest and draped a leg over him. “Morning”, he said, his voice grumbly from sleep. “Good morning”, I smiled and moved to look up at him. “This was much better than the couch”, he smirked and leaned down for a kiss. 

Pulling away, I turned around to look at the time. “I have to get up. My shift starts in a little over an hour, and I need to shower”, I said as I sat up. He sat up behind me, and pushed my hair to one side. “We could save some water”, he murmured, leaving a trail of kisses from my shoulder to the side of my neck. When he placed a hand on my waist, I sighed and leaned into his touch.

“Come on, then”, I whispered, putting my hand on top of his before standing up. Seeing as we were heading straight for the shower, I didn’t bother putting on clothes for the few feet I had to walk to the bathroom. “You get the towels, I still can’t reach”, I called out as I opened the door to the bathroom, and I heard him chuckle.

The few seconds I got alone were spent trying to process what had happened the past couple of days, and realizing that, whatever it was, it was really nice. I didn’t want it to stop.

His footsteps got closer, so I stepped into the shower and turned the water on. When it hit me, it was ice cold, so I let out a small squeal as I jumped out of the stream. I put my hand out to feel the temperature, and smiled when I felt an arm around my waist. He pulled me close; my back pressed against his chest. 

“We don’t have all the time in the world, you know”, I spoke gently, grabbing onto his hand that was resting on my stomach. “Oh, I know”, he grumbled, and let go of me, picking up a bottle of shampoo. I stood completely under the water, soaking myself. Jim pulled me gently towards him, and put his hands in my hair, massaging the shampoo in. I raised my eyebrows slightly in surprise, not really expecting the big, rough Chief to be washing my hair. But it felt really good, so I just closed my eyes and let him. 

Showering together was calming, and I thoroughly enjoyed all of the soft touches between us, not really wanting to get out. But, real life was waiting, and we couldn’t stay inside forever. To be honest, it was pretty cliche, but it had been so long since I had felt anything close to that, so I didn’t care.

“I’ll go make some breakfast”, Jim said, and kissed my temple, leaving me to dry my hair. I didn’t bother getting it completely dry, seeing as it was rather thick, and when I was satisfied, I went to the bedroom to find something to wear.

Seeing one of his t-shirts at the foot of the bed, I smiled to myself, and picked it up. It smelled like him, and I decided to wear it for breakfast and change before leaving for work. It went down to a little over my mid thighs, and was very comfortable.

Jim hadn’t heard me come out of the bedroom, so I walked quietly up to him and wrapped my arms around him from behind, resting my head on his back. “Hey there, koala”, he greeted me, and I could just hear the amusement in his voice. I kept back a laugh and smacked his chest playfully. 

I let go of him, and began setting the table. “Val—”, he attempted without even turning around. “Don’t even go there. I’m setting the table, it’s nothing”, I smiled as I carried the plates over.

“That’s my shirt”, he noticed, smirking. “It is”, I answered, and put down our glasses before looking up at him. “Hope that’s alright”, I mumbled, and stood on my tiptoes for a short kiss. “Oh, it’s more than alright”, he chuckled, and kissed me again, longer this time. 

I put my hands on his chest and pushed him away gently. “I have to leave in twenty minutes, give me food”, I teased, and sat down at the table. “Food is coming up!” he announced, and slid some bacon and scrambled eggs onto my plate.

“How long are you at work for today?” I asked, before taking a bite. He signaled that he had to finish chewing before answering. “Not sure. If nothing happens, I should get off at about six. Why?” he answered. “I was just wondering”, I shrugged, sending him a smile.

—

When I got to work, I was told that Mary, one of my coworkers, was sick and that no one else could take her shift later that day, so I had to work double. 

At the end of the day, I was really tired, and my legs were aching from walking around since morning. I locked up and got in my car, longing for some rest. 

Jim was up on his feet when he saw me come in the door. “Hey, did you have to work late?” he asked, leaning on the wall and watching me. “Double shift, actually”, I told him, and walked over to him for a hug. I rested against him, and sighed tiredly. His hands were soothingly running across my back and through my hair. 

I looked up at him, and straightened up when he leaned down for a kiss. At first, it was slow, but he eventually deepened it, and then I was pinned between him and the wall. What I actually wanted was to go to bed, but I didn’t mind. I just went along with it.

He ran his hands up and down my waist and tugged on my shirt. I lifted my arms to let him pull it off, and in less than two seconds his lips were back on mine. 

It was when he moved to my neck, and I stayed completely silent and just let my hands rest on his shoulders that he stopped and looked at me. “Are you alright?” he asked, worried, bending his knees to be more at my eye level. “I’m fine”, I whispered, and smiled softly as I put a hand on his cheek. “You’re not, something’s wrong”, he said and furrowed his eyebrows.

“I’m just tired. Long day, that’s all”, I assured him, and tried to kiss him again, but he pulled away. Did he not want me? I became unsure of myself. “Sweetheart, you don’t have to go along with it if you don’t want to. Just tell me, okay? It’s supposed to be good for both of us”, he said clearly, and I took a sharp breath.

“Sorry, I’m just used to… That’s what it was like with Daniel for the last few years”, I explained, looking away from his eyes. “That’s not what it’s supposed to be”, he made it clear. I nodded, almost like a little child being scolded. “And don’t apologize”, he added, and kissed my forehead, making me smile. Daniel never did that. It felt nice. 

“Are you hungry?” he asked, his thumb gently stroking my cheek. “Just a little. I think I’m gonna have some cereal, and then go to bed. I’m really tired”, I decided on, and walked to the kitchen. Pouring myself a bowl, I could sense him just looking at me. “Stop”, I laughed when I saw his smirk. “You’re just really pretty”, he grinned as I sat down, and I rolled my eyes, letting my hair fall down to hide my blush.

My insides were tingling, and I could barely remember the last time a man made me feel like that. I was falling for him, but I was scared to even admit that to myself. I couldn’t help but think about everything that could possibly go wrong. After all, the beginning of Daniel and me was similar to this. I was happy, and he was nice. Until he wasn’t. What if that would happen this time as well?

“C’mon, let’s go to bed”, he spoke softly when I had finished, and I gladly followed him. Quite poorly, I brushed my teeth before walking to the bedroom. I looked at him while holding up one of his shirts, and when he nodded, I smiled tiredly, and quickly changed into it, my back facing him.

He got in bed first, and I soon followed, curling up to him. “Good night”, I mumbled, already slipping away. “Good night”, he whispered, and then I was almost immediately asleep.

—

I had cereal the next morning, too, and Jim had toast. Even though I fell asleep quickly the night before, I kept on waking up for no apparent reason throughout the night. Luckily, Jim slept through it. I didn’t want to bother him.

“Oh, shit, I gotta go”, Jim exclaimed, having checked the time. “Have a good day”, I said, and he kissed me quickly before rushing out the door. Without his hat. I’d drop by with it before work. It wasn’t far between. 

—

Walking into the police station, I got to witness Jim’s gruff personality. Most people only knew that side of him, but when I moved in with him, I quickly noticed he was quite soft around me. That made me happy. 

His face, which was scrunched up in annoyance, softened when he saw me, and it almost made me blush. “Hey, what’s up?” he asked, walking up to me. “Forgot your hat”, I said, and moved my hands from behind my back, holding the hat up. “Oh, thank you, Val.” He put it on, and placed a chaste kiss on my forehead. I couldn’t help but notice how everyone else was looking on in confusion at his sudden change in behavior. 

“I gotta run, see you later”, I said, and headed towards the door. “Bye!” he called out, and I waved before hurrying outside and to work. I made it there just in time, and got ready for a six-hour shift. 

—

Upon getting home, I collapsed on the couch. For about five minutes I managed to stay awake, and then I drifted off. 

I only woke up when I noticed Jim picking me up. “I can walk”, I protested, wriggling in his grip. “I know, but I can carry you”, he spoke gently. “You don’t have to, I’m heavy”, I whined. “You’re definitely not heavy. I’ve carried you to bed a few times now, so I think you should take my word for it”, he smirked as he put me down. I only hummed in acknowledgment, and stiffened up slightly when he lay down behind me. He pulled me to him, and held me tight, his hand resting on my stomach. Daniel had managed to break down my confidence pretty much all the way down to zero, and I was so aware of every imperfection. The previous times he had carried me to bed, I was so out of it, I barely realized it was happening, but this time I was grossly aware that he was holding up my entire weight. 

Him snoring lightly after a couple of minutes calmed me down. I focused on him instead of myself to stop my thoughts for long enough for me to be able to fall asleep. Almost unconsciously I grabbed onto his arm and clung to it to ground myself. He was a heavy sleeper, and didn’t even stir.

—

Miraculously, I slept through the entire night, and didn’t feel like death when I woke up. “You’re staring again”, I whispered when I opened my eyes. “You look so peaceful”, he mumbled and kissed my forehead. “Doesn’t sound like me”, I joked, laughing quietly. “I wish it did. I…” He trailed off, making me prop myself up on my elbow to be able to look at him properly. “What?” I encouraged him, my face just a couple of inches from his. “Nothing”, he smiled, and moved his hand to the back of my neck, pulling me gently in for a kiss.

Content, I sighed into the kiss, and adjusted so that I was resting some of my weight on his chest. He pulled me even further on top of him, and I immediately felt uncomfortable. I tried to move off of him slowly, but he noticed, and pulled away. “What’s wrong?” he asked, brushing some hair out of my face. “I just feel… heavy, okay? I know I sound like a self-conscious 16-year-old, but I can’t help it after having it pointed out all the fucking time for years”, I snapped, and sat up. I spoke up again before he had time to answer. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap. But I just need you to know that I’m not as strong as you think I am. Daniel really made an impact, and him being locked up doesn’t magically make everything okay.” Ashamed, I didn’t turn to look at him. I just sat with my back towards him, and my head in my hands.

“Baby…” he started, but trailed off. I felt him move, and then he was right behind me; one leg on each side of me, and his chest flush against my back. “Listen to me, Val. I wouldn’t change a goddamn thing about you. You are so beautiful. You’ve got curves, you’re a woman. That’s much more sexy than a bone-thin model.” He trailed his fingers over my body as he spoke, giving me goosebumps. Without noticing it myself, I had crossed my arms in front of my stomach. He gently pried them away, and wrapped his arms around me tightly. “And you’re not heavy, no matter what he told you. I’ll carry you a hundred times to make you realize. A thousand even”, he said, and I could hear him smiling. It improved my mood, and I relaxed in his grip, leaning into him. “Thank you”, I mumbled, quite speechless. I wasn’t used to people being that nice to me. “I’m sorry I don’t know what to say, but—”

“It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything”, he assured me, and placed a light kiss on my shoulder. I moved my hand to his cheek, and smiled at the feeling of his beard on my palm.

Even though this was new, it wasn’t awkward. We were lucky in a way. Before even giving thought to the fact that we could be more than friends, we had both seen each other at our worst. We had helped each other, and relied on each other. 

I think the reason it felt so natural was that we both needed each other. We needed someone like the other so badly that there was never time for it to be filled with awkward silences. There was only time for supporting and caring.

The fact that I was so recently divorced probably should have made me feel guilty, but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t feel guilty about needing to move on, and the way things had played out with Hopper. Neither of us had intentions for it to become romantic, and that’s what made it so good. It just happened. It felt so real and natural. And I needed him. Without him, I’d really have no one.

—

A couple of weeks later, Joyce had come over for dinner, and I was in the kitchen, finishing up the meal. Jim walked over to me, asking if I wanted a beer. I told him yes, and without thinking, we shared a short kiss.

When I looked over at Joyce, it went up for me that _no one really knew_ , and I laughed awkwardly. “Well, we uh…” I trailed off, shifting my weight awkwardly, and her face lit up. “Oh, that’s wonderful! I was hoping this would happen”, Joyce grinned, and I calmed down at her very optimistic response. 

I guess that was another sign that our relationship had just evolved really naturally. We had forgotten to tell Joyce about it, and it made me chuckle as I shook my head. 

Jim put the bottles of beer on the table, I put the food down, and then we just ate like normal. Nothing was different, except for the fact that I was a little happier than before. And that Jim occasionally rested his hand on my thigh throughout dinner.

Joyce and I did the dishes, and she had commanded him to drive into town for flour because she noticed there was nothing left. But mostly so we could talk in private.

“You and Hop, huh? When did that happen?” she asked, a big smile on her face, and bumped my hip with hers. I let out a breathy laugh. “New Years, I guess. He kissed me at midnight”, I smiled, thinking back. 

“Who knew he could be such a romantic?” she chuckled, and I shook my head. “Well, _I_ certainly didn’t”, I laughed, “but I guess that man’s full of surprises. You wouldn’t think so by looking at him, but he can be so gentle and caring.” I couldn’t help but swoon a little at the thought of him. “Oh, you _really_ like him, don’t you?” Joyce realized. I nodded, trying to fight off the grin taking over my features, but I couldn’t help it.

“He’ll take care of you. And he needs someone like you”, she said, a little more serious now. I avoided her eyes, knowing she was referring to Daniel, and how Sara’s death had affected Jim. “Yeah”, I mumbled, and failed to realize that I had been drying the same glass for at least half a minute. 

“Val”, Joyce attempted, and lightly pushed my arm. She succeeded in pulling me out of my trance, but I dropped the glass. “Fuck”, I muttered as it shattered on the floor. Luckily, we were both wearing shoes, and I told Joyce to go get the broom and dustpan. With shaky hands, I started picking up the biggest pieces. Frustrated with myself for letting such a small thing set me off, I didn’t pay close enough attention, and accidentally cut the inside of my palm. 

I hissed at the stinging sensation, stood up, and turned on the water, putting my hand under it. Just as Joyce returned, Jim came through the door. “What’s going on here?” he asked, confused at the sight in front of him. “I broke a glass, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to”, I stressed. “Did you cut your hand?” Joyce asked, and walked over to me. “Yeah, don’t worry about it”, I told her, waving her away with my other hand. 

“Let me see”, Jim said, suddenly next to me. I turned my hand to give him a better look, and he took hold of it to inspect it closer. “It’s kind of deep, actually”, he pointed out. “It’s fine, Jim”, I assured him, but he ignored me. “There’s a first aid kit in the bathroom cabinet, can you get it, Joyce?” he asked, and she got it in less than a minute. Jim rinsed my cut, and then bandaged it up tightly, but made sure it didn’t hurt. 

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to break that glass”, I rambled, memories of how angry Daniel got whenever I broke something resurfacing. “It’s just a glass, Val, it doesn’t matter”, he spoke, his voice quiet, and his face close to mine. I wanted to tell them both to stop treating me like something was wrong with me, but I couldn’t even snap out of the distant state I was in. A large hand on my back guided me to the couch and I sat down. 

I heard Jim and Joyce mumbling, but didn’t bother even trying to pick up what. “Bye, you guys”, Joyce said, and I looked up, sending her a small smile. 

He knelt in front of me, and cupped my face with his hands. “Hey, what’s happening?” he asked, looking at me intently. I blinked hard a couple of times to focus on his face. “I’m… not sure”, I told him. 

“I think you need to see a doctor”, he said carefully.

“My hand’s fine—”

“Baby, no. Not your hand.”

I looked at him in disbelief as I realized what he was saying.

“No. No! I can fix this. I can fix _me_!”

“I’m worried, I don’t think you’re okay.”

“You’re right, I’m not, but just give it time, and I will be. _Please_ , Jim. Please”, I begged, now completely present.

“On one condition. If you’re not better in a month, you’re getting help.”

“I just need… I need time. And I need you.”

“I’m here, Val. I promise.” He sat beside me on the couch, and pulled me close so that I was resting my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. Absentmindedly, I fiddled with his chest pocket, and I felt safe. Like nothing could happen to me with him around.


	12. For Better or Worse

“Why?” I exclaimed, annoyed after the sixth unsuccessful attempt at starting my car. We had done a stocktake at work, it was late, and Jim had already gone home. He came by on his way home, and I told him I’d be home no later than 11 pm. A quick glance down on my wrist told me it was ten past 11. I didn’t want him to worry, so I thought of calling him from the station. However, I didn’t want to bother him either. He could have fallen asleep already. Adding my own comfort and safety into the equation, I decided to call him. The short walk to the station made my fingers freeze, and I was happy with my decision.

“Hey, Powell, can I borrow the phone?” I asked when I saw him inside. “Sure, go ahead and use the one right there”, he said, pointing to the one Flo normally used. “Thanks”, I smiled.

 _“What?”_ Jim answered the phone.

“Hey, it’s me.”

_“Val, where are you? You okay?”_

“At the station, I couldn’t get my car to start. Could you please come pick me up? It’s a little too cold to walk I think.”

_“Of course. No way in hell I’m letting you walk home alone in the dark. Cold or warm, doesn’t matter. I’ll be there soon.”_

“Alright, Jim, see you then”, I chuckled at how worried he was and hung up.

I waited inside for about ten minutes before wishing Powell a good night and going outside. I leaned against the corner of the building, and let out a yelp when someone grabbed hold of me around my waist, and dragged me backwards, out of the streetlight.

Terrified, I clawed at the hands and lifted my legs, kicking, hoping the person would lose their grip. I was put down and pushed into a brick wall. “Joe? What are you doing?” I asked, recognizing him from the little visit he paid me a few weeks ago. 

I fought against him, and he punched me. The impact from his fist, and the back of my head hitting the brick wall made me stop. “Stay still”, he hissed, and placed a hand around my neck, but barely squeezed. “Dan wanted me to let you know”, he began, and tightened his grip, “that when he gets out…” His grip became very tight, and I couldn’t get any air. He looked like he enjoyed the sight of me panicking, and I pulled harshly at his arm desperately. 

The familiar sound of Jim’s Blazer made its way into my ears, and I did everything to attract his attention. If Joe was saying anything, I had completely blocked it out. I tried stomping my feet, and slapped the brick wall with one hand repeatedly before feeling myself become weak from the lack of oxygen.

My body slumped to the ground, and I gasped loudly, trying to catch my breath. Confused, I looked up to see Jim very angrily muttering something to Joe before punching him. “Hey, Powell, get out here!” he bellowed, and less than a minute later, Powell came into sight.

“Deal with this guy”, he demanded, holding him in place until Powell had cuffed him. “You got it, Chief. Is she alright?” he asked. “I’ve got her”, Jim assured him, and they walked away. Jim gently placed his hands under my arms, and helped me up. “Can you breathe properly?” he asked, and I nodded.

“I don’t understand what he wants”, I mumbled on the way to the car. “I’m visiting him”, Jim said, and I stopped. 

“What? No, Jim—”

“I’m just gonna talk to him.”

“At least let me come with you.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Please, babe.”

“I don’t want him near you.”

“Well, I don’t want him near you, but we can’t always get what we want.”

“You’re so stubborn”, he groaned as we got into the car.

“So are you”, I chuckled, but winced at the pain under my eye from the punch. “What’s wrong?” Jim asked, removing his hand from the key he was about to turn. 

“He hit me, just once, don’t worry”, I said, putting my hand on his, but he placed two fingers under my chin, and turned my head around. With his mouth slightly open, he inspected my face closely, and brought a hand to the back of my head. I winced again.

“My head hit the wall”, I explained. “Do you think you’ve got a concussion?” he asked, trailing his fingers gently where a bruise would be forming. “No, that feels different. This isn’t that bad.”

“Jesus, I can’t stand how used you are to getting hurt”, he sighed, and ran a hand down his face. “I’m sorry”, I whispered, and placed my hand on his arm, unsure of what to do. “It’s not your fault, please don’t apologize”, he said, and started the car. The drive home was silent.

Back in the trailer, I stripped down immediately, and got into bed, curling into a ball. Jim got into bed behind me, and wrapped his arms around me. I turned around in his grip so that I was facing him, and smiled softly at him. He caressed my cheek and pecked my lips before I moved my head to his chest. Needing to feel him close, I clung to him, and let him lull me to sleep with his fingers slowly tracing up and down my back.

—

“Let go! Let me go!” I screamed hysterically, panicking at the feeling of an arm around my waist. I screamed and squirmed and clawed and kicked, trying to get lose, but to no avail. “Please”, I cried, and gasped shakily when I was turned onto my back and felt a weight settle on top of me. 

_“Valerie!”_

“Get off!” I yelled, and tried hitting whoever was on top of me, but my arms were soon pinned against my sides.

_“Val, it’s me!”_

“Please don’t hurt me”, I begged, sobbing. I was terrified.

_“It’s Jim, take it easy, baby. Easy.”_

Familiar. That voice was familiar. And gentle and kind. I realized my eyes were closed, and opened them slowly. The hands on my arms disappeared, and I could move them. “Jim”, I mumbled, bringing a hand to his cheek. 

“Oh, thank god”, he sighed, and climbed off of me. “Sit up for me, sweetheart”, he spoke gently, and I did as he told me, still a little lost. He wiped away tears I didn’t know I had cried. I spotted a mark on his arm, and grabbed onto his wrist. “Did I do that?” I asked horrified. “What?” he asked, and looked down on his arm. “You didn’t mean to, Val”, he tried calming me down. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry!”

“Valerie, listen to me. It’s not your fault, okay? You were having a flashback or a panic attack or something”, he explained, his face right in front of mine. “Jim, I’m sorry”, I whispered, looking deep into his eyes. “Baby, it’s not--”

“Not just this. I’m sorry I’m not easy to deal with. That I’m fucked up and that it affects you. You… You deserve so much better. Not someone who just adds to your own troubles”, I cried silently, my hands in my hair, and my legs pulled up against my chest. He made me look at him by cupping my face with his hands. “Never, and I mean never think that you’re a burden. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you. I’m here with you no matter what”, he spoke clearly, and leaned in for a kiss. Desperately, I leaned closer to him, crashing my lips against his and pressing myself against him. I felt as if I was about to explode from how much I needed him. I needed him. I needed him close and I needed to feel his arms around me and I needed to take care of him and I needed him to take care of me. Never in my life had I needed someone so intensely. A sudden fear of losing him made me pull him even closer. I pulled away, and buried my face in his chest, crying silently for no specific reason other than that it was all just so overwhelming.

“You’ll be okay. It’s all gonna be alright”, he whispered soothingly, and held me tight while trailing his fingers up and down my back. 

Eventually, I calmed down, but couldn’t seem to fall back asleep. I stayed still to let Jim sleep. “Try and sleep a little, Val, you need it”, he mumbled. “I was literally not moving at all, how could you tell?” I whispered, and yawned. “Your breathing’s too uneven for you to be asleep. And you usually move around a little when you sleep, you’re never that still”, he smiled, and kissed the top of my head. 

Clinging to his shirt, and curled up as close to him as I could get, I managed falling asleep after a little while, and slept peacefully until he gently woke me.

“Did you sleep well?” he asked, stroking my hair. “Mhm”, I confirmed with a small, sleepy smile, “did you?” He kissed the top of my head. “Yeah”, he chuckled, “you were almost completely on top of me.”

“Jim, you should’ve woken me up”, I whined, sitting up to look at him. “You looked so peaceful. And, besides, I didn’t mind, it was sweet. I like having you close”, he murmured, pulling me to him to prove his point. “Fair enough, but on top of you, babe? That can’t be comfy, just push me off if I do it again”, I told him, but couldn’t fight the smile tugging on my lips when he left a trail of light kisses on my neck. “I said I didn’t mind, baby”, he whispered in my ear.

“I’m hea—”

“Don’t say that. You’re not.” He looked at me with a serious expression before getting out of bed. He walked around it, and I squealed in surprise when he grabbed my legs, pulled me towards him and lifted me up bridal style. “See?” he said smugly, and carried me to the kitchen. I just laughed and playfully smacked his chest before sitting down on a chair.

“What do you wanna do today?” he asked me. It was a Saturday, and both of us had the day off. “I was thinking about going into town. There’s this new book everyone is talking about. _The Color Purple_ ” I said. “Sounds good”, he nodded, sliding some food onto my plate. That had become a habit. Sometimes in the morning, I was too tired to remember to eat. He’d noticed and it had just become natural to him. 

“Eat up”, he smiled as he sat down across from me. While eating, I noticed small flickers of sadness in his eyes, but didn’t ask him about it. I tried to think through what it could be. Had I done something? Was it just a bad day? 

“You ready?” I asked him and brought my plate to the sink. “Yeah”, he answered, and I kissed his cheek when I walked past him. “I’m just getting dressed, and then we can leave”, I told him on my way to the bedroom. I decided that if he wasn’t normal when we got back from town, I’d ask him. 

“I’ll drive”, Jim said while putting on his shoes when he saw me come out of the bedroom. “Alright”, I said, and smiled when he put his hands on my hips and leaned in for a short kiss. He put his hand on my cheek when he pulled away, and just looked at me for a couple of seconds, slightly moving his thumb. Despite the sweetness of the gesture, it made me worry even more. Sure, he could be very sweet, but usually when we were cuddling in bed or on the couch. Or if I had a bad day. Maybe if he felt like it on a day off where we just stayed in and did nothing. But on our way out of the door? I was worried.

For the entire drive into town, he wouldn’t let go of my hand. I looked at him several times, but he kept the same neutral expression. And he held my hand while we walked around in the bookstore, only letting go when I crouched down to pick up a copy of _The Color Purple_.

“I’ve got it”, he said when I was about to pull my wallet out of my purse to pay for my book. “Jim, you don’t—”

“Please, Val”, he begged, and when I saw the sincere look in his eyes, I just let him. He almost looked desperate, and my pulse quickened a little. What was wrong? Why was he acting like he felt bad about something?

“Do you need anything? Or do you just wanna go back home?” I asked when he stepped out of the bookstore. “Not really, let’s go”, he said and grabbed my hand as we walked to the car. He held on until we got home.

“Are you alright?” I asked the second I closed the door behind us. I could’ve asked him in a more discreet way, but that wouldn’t have gotten me anywhere. “Yeah, I’m—”

He was interrupted by the phone ringing. He quickly walked over and picked it up. 

“Jim Hopper… What’s happened?… I’ll be right there.” He hung up the phone and groaned. “I’m sorry, I gotta head down to the station.”

“Oh, okay. When will you be back?” I asked, not really wanting him to go. Especially since he’d been acting so strange. “I don’t know, baby. Don’t wait up, okay?” he told me before pulling me in for a kiss. He held onto me tight, and let the kiss last for a few seconds. Pulling back, he placed a kiss on my forehead before heading out of the door.

 _Don’t wait up._ Yeah, right. After acting like that there was no way in hell I’d go to bed without knowing he was okay. 

The first few of hours flew by with _The Color Purple_ and some music in the background. It was only when I realized he had been gone for six hours that I began to worry. It was almost seven at night, and even though I knew he could be gone for a long time, I also knew that Flo would call to tell me if there was absolutely no point in waiting up. I hadn’t heard from her or Jim for that matter.

So I decided to call her. _“Hawkins Police Station, this is Flo speaking”_ , she answered, and her normal tone calmed me a little. 

“It’s Valerie. Is Jim there?”

_“He’s out on a call with Callahan. Traffic accident. Why did you wonder, sweetheart?”_

“No reason, just wanted to know when I should be expecting him back home.”

_“Shouldn’t be much more than an hour. Two tops.”_

“Alright, thank you, Flo. Call me if something happens.”

_“Of course, have a good night, Valerie.”_

Picking up my book again was useless. I was less worried than earlier, but now I was just waiting for either a phone call or Jim walking through the door. That was my focus. I turned on the TV to distract myself, and cooked some dinner. Enough for two so he could have leftovers when he got back.

Flo called just past midnight. I answered it in a heartbeat.

“Hello?”

_“It’s Hopper. He needs you.”_

“What’s happened?” I asked, my voice shaky and my heartbeat through the roof.

_“Sara. It’s Sara’s birthday.”_

“Oh my god. Where is he?”

I heard a very familiar voice in the background yelling.

_“Powell and Callahan just brought him in. Hurry, he won’t calm down.”_

“I’ll be there as soon as I can. Tell him that, Flo. Please tell him I’ll be there soon.”

Without waiting for her answer, I slammed the receiver down clumsily, and scurried out of the door. I sped all the way to the station, and made it there in record time. When I got there, I didn’t bother parking properly. I just stopped the car outside the station and ran inside.

“Where is he?” I asked when I didn’t spot him immediately. “His office”, Flo said with a sad smile, and I thanked her before walking quickly towards it. Without knocking, I gently opened the door. “Go away”, he slurred without looking up from where his head was resting on his own arms on his desk. He was so drunk and it broke my heart.

“Baby, it’s me”, I said softly. He lifted his head. When he locked eyes with me, he started crying, making me hurry over. “It’s okay”, I whispered, cupping his face with my hands. “I miss her. I miss her so goddamn much”, he mumbled between silent sobs. “I know”, I whispered. To better comfort him, I sat down on his lap, and pulled him close. He hid his face in my chest and cried into my shirt. I just whispered sweet nothings to him while holding him tight and stroking. His arms went around me and he held on at least as tight as I was holding onto him.

When he had calmed down a little and loosened his grip on me, I made him look up at me. “Let’s go home”, I decided. There was no point in spending any more time in the station. I got off his lap and helped him up from his chair. To steady him, I put an arm around his waist, and his made its way around my shoulders.

Stepping out of his office, Flo was at the other side of him in an instant. She helped me get him in my car, and looked at me like a mother when we had succeeded. “Will you be alright?” she asked, and I nodded. “Call someone if you need help, okay?” she said, and I nodded again. “Good night, Flo. Thank you.” I gave her a long hug and felt myself tear up, but hid it from her so she wouldn’t worry.

Jim was mumbling the entire drive home. The only word I could make out was Sara. I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep myself from crying. 

Outside the trailer, I got out of the car and hurried to the passenger side. Jim had managed to unbuckled himself and I grabbed his hands, pulling him up. He swayed. “Don’t fall”, I groaned and luckily he regained his balance by grabbing onto the car. With an arm around his waist, I led him inside and sat him down on the bed. “No”, I mumbled when he tried to lie down and grabbed his hand to keep him up. I took off his jacket, then his shirt and kept going until he was down to his boxers. Then I helped him lie down and tucked him in like he was a child. He was out cold when his head hit the pillow.

Only then did I let myself react to the situation. Tears quickly gathered in my eyes and began falling. I let out a choked sob, doing my best to stay quiet. With a hand covering my mouth, I slumped down on the couch and let the sobs rack my body. But I stayed silent. He needed to sleep. What he was going through broke my heart, and to see him this vulnerable made it even worse. I didn’t know how to make it better. 

Not wanting him to wake up alone in the morning, I shuffled quietly into the bedroom when I had stopped crying. Before lying down, I got painkillers and water for the hangover he would definitely have the following day. In his sleep, he pulled me close and I tried to let the feeling of him calm me down. It must have helped because after just a couple of minutes, I was asleep, too.

—

He woke up first. The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was him looking at me. “How are you feeling?” I asked him worriedly. “What did I do to deserve you? Most people would’ve run away a long time ago”, he whispered, caressing my cheek. “I need you”, I admitted, trailing off. 

“Are you alright?” I attempted again. When he seemed hesitant, I spoke up again. “I know it was Sara’s birthday yesterday. Flo told me. You don’t have to be okay right now, but I’m here and I want to help.”

“What did I do last night?” he groaned, ignoring my question.

“Flo called me and said I had to come get you so I did. You didn’t really do anything, you just cried, Jim. You were so distant.”

“I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

“I would do anything to just hold her one last time. Anything.”

“I know, sweetheart. If only it worked like that.”

“I miss her.” I could hear he was holding back a sob.

Instead of telling him it was okay to cry, I sat up so I could pull him to me. He hid his face in my neck and let out a loud sob. His body shook, and I did my best to comfort him by humming softly and trailing my fingers in circles on his back. It was comforting for me to know that he trusted me enough to let me see him like this even when he was sober. In that moment, he felt so small in my arms.


	13. Time

_In February_ , I tried to hide my birthday from him, having always hated that kind of attention. He found out by chance when he helped me look for my license. Doing a double take, he looked up at me with his eyebrows lifted. “It’s your birthday”, he said, halfway asking, halfway realizing it. “Yeah”, I admitted with an awkward chuckle. At that, he started fussing about how he hadn’t gotten me anything and I told him I never cared that much about my birthday. He took me out to eat. I let him, but on one condition; we were going to Benny’s. When I just raised my eyebrows at his protests, he knew that it was either Benny’s or nothing. Pleased, I grinned at him, and we had an amazing night there. 

The next day, he came home with a gorgeous necklace that he wouldn’t tell me the price of. He didn’t want to answer if it was him or Joyce who had picked it out, he just helped me put it on. “I love it. Thank you, Jim”, I smiled, leaning up for a kiss. “I love you”, he murmured against my lips, steering us towards the bed.

—

 _In March_ , I met Joe again. Only briefly; Jim was with me. At least before Joe could do anything. We were spending a Saturday in town, and I stayed outside to smoke while he bought something I couldn’t remember the name of in an attempt to fix a problem with his car. It was chilly, but I enjoyed the sun on my face. “Val”, he interrupted my thoughts, and I snapped my head towards his voice. “Don’t call me that”, I warned and stopped myself from taking a step back. He walked closer, looking calm, and only when there were less than three feet between us did I stumble slightly backwards as my pulse quickened and breathing became uneven. Joe opened his mouth, but was cut off before he could even speak. “Didn’t I tell you to stay away from her?” Jim asked, making a point of looking down on him even though the height difference wasn’t all that. “I just happened to need something in there”, Joe smiled sourly. Jim let out an angry chuckle. “No, I think you were headed that way”, he said, pointing the direction Joe had appeared from, “weren’t you?” Jim placed himself in front of me, resting his hands on his hips in a way I had only seen him do whenever he wanted to emphasize his dominance or appear threatening. “I guess I was”, Joe stepped down, and walked away with no further ado. “I’m so fucking tired of him”, I muttered when Jim put an arm around me, leading me to the car. 

—

 _In April_ , all of Hawkins’ residents gladly welcomed spring. March had been unusually cold, everyone said, so when the temperature reached 55 for the first time since early November, it was what the talk of the town. With the sun shining directly down on us where we sat outside the trailer, it almost felt like it was ten degrees warmer, and a thin cardigan was enough to keep me warm. He was wearing a flannel and looked extremely handsome. I pointed it out to him, loving the look on his face whenever I did. Never knowing how to react, he usually just kissed me. That time was no exception. Pulling away, I took a sip of my glass of wine and he took a swig of his beer. We sat outside until the sun wasn’t shining on us anymore. 

Back inside, we listened to music for hours. He even asked me to dance like he had done on Christmas Day. My heart swelled with love for him as I rested my head on his chest. He gently swayed us back and forth. "I wish life was like this all the time", I mumbled, letting out a small sigh. "Would be perfect, wouldn't it? Just you and me", he agreed. I hummed happily, the sound partly muffled by his shirt. 

—

 _In May_ , one of my coworkers, Christine, had a baby. She had saved up some money and her husband had a good job, so she would take two months off to be with the baby. I was really happy for her, and we were still enough people working in the bookstore, so it wouldn’t be a problem. Well, that was until Margaret became sick. It turned out to be pretty severe pneumonia, and she even had to be admitted to the hospital, meaning she was gone for over a month. I took on maybe a little too many shifts, working from opening time until closing time several times a week. 

“You work too much, you’re exhausted, baby, I can tell”, Jim said when that had been going on for almost three weeks. “I’m fine, it’s just for a little while”, I assured him and sealed it with a kiss. “Come here”, he smiled, holding out his hand for me. I smiled, taking it, and he led me to the bed. “What’s going on?” I chuckled, looking up at him with my hands on my hips. “Take off your shirt, and lie down on your stomach”, he instructed sweetly and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Alright”, I agreed, looking at him, slightly confused before pulling my shirt off and placing myself on the bed. I felt his weight on the bed next to me and he unclasped my bra before bringing his hands to my shoulders; a massage. I sighed and felt myself relaxing instantly, letting him work wonders for my tense muscles. 

I almost dozed off, but his voice woke me up. “Want to take a shower?” he asked softly, placing kisses on my back. “Mhm”, I hummed and sat up slowly. He ran his hands over my bare upper body and I leaned into his touch, loving it. Wanting it to last longer, I straddled him and kissed him deeply. He kissed back, holding onto my hips before pulling away. He guided me off his lap, stood up and we walked to the bathroom. That shower was small, but we had shared it before and it was just as magical every time. Both of us nude, we stepped into the shower and he told me to just relax. His hands cleaning me both made me tired and aroused me at the same time. He could tell and made sure I was satisfied that night before we went to sleep.

—

 _In June_ , on a rainy day, we had dinner at the Byers’ house. “Played any Dungeons & Dragons since the last time I saw you?” I asked Will, even though it was only a little over a week since I ran into him and Joyce in town. “Yeah, we played on Sunday, and it lasted for seven hours”, he told me, his eyes wide with excitement. “Seven hours? That’s a long time”, I laughed before taking another bite of the delicious lasagna Joyce had made. Will told me about what had happened during the game, and I paid close attention, even though I couldn’t understand much of it. Jim sat next to me and smiled along with Joyce and Jonathan at Will’s enthusiasm. 

Later, Jim got an emergency call on his police radio. It was a Saturday and there had been a car crash. Possibly a DUI. “Sorry to leave this early, but, uh… duty calls”, Jim apologized as we got up to leave. “No, it’s alright, Hop. You’re both going?” Joyce asked. “Yeah, I drove us both here, so I’ll drop her off at home first in case it takes all night”, Jim explained. “You can stay here for the night, Val, if you want”, Joyce suggested, and it sounded awfully much better than moping around alone. “You sure?” I asked, and she nodded. “Of course! Hope the couch is fine”, she smiled, and I sent Jim a smirk, thinking back to when I lived on his couch. “The couch is great”, I assured her and kissed Jim goodbye. Joyce and I stayed up for far too long that, just talking and sharing stories. When we both decided it was really time to sleep, I thought about how much I appreciated her; she was so kind and such a good friend.

—

 _In July_ , there was a heat wave. First thing I did when I got home from work those days was just ripping my clothes off as soon as I closed the door behind me. If Jim was home before me, he’d get excited up until the second I touched him and we were both reminded how hot it really was. We were perfectly happy sitting next to each other without touching and with a fan in front of us.

“You know what? We should go swim”, I said, wiping the sweat off my forehead with the back of my hand. “Best idea you’ve ever had”, Jim agreed and got up immediately. I followed into the bedroom and quickly located my swimsuit. After changing, we walked outside and behind his trailer. I thanked whatever was up there that there was a lake so close. “Race you in”, Hopper whispered in my ear and poked my side before running towards the water. I sprinted after him and forgot about the race once my body was fully submerged; I relished in the cool feeling relieving me of constantly being uncomfortably warm. We stayed in for hours, only getting out when the sun started to set and the temperature became more liveable.

—

 _In August_ , I was at my happiest. I was more comfortable with Jim than I had ever been with Daniel. And it was Jim’s birthday. I knew we were similar when it came to that kind of attention; none of us liked it. So, I got him a new record player. The one he had was a little faulty and I had saved up money for it. I also made his favorite dinner. The smile on his face when he came home from work that day was to die for.

“That was delicious”, he said after eating, as he collapsed down on the couch. “There’s more”, I smiled, “close your eyes.” He chuckled, but did as I told him. The box the record player came in was too big for me to bother to wrap, so I just put it on the sofa table in front of him. “Okay, open up”, I said, standing next to it. “You bought a… Baby, you didn’t have to, those are expensive”, Jim said, standing up. “I wanted to, it’s your birthday and I love you”, I smiled, putting a hand on his chest. “Love you, too, baby. You’re more than I deserve.” He pulled me into a bear hug. “Oh, shush”, I chuckled, burying my face in his chest.

—

 _In September_ , I started feeling more anxious. I knew Daniel would be released soon, but never received word of when. There was a knock at the door, late that month. I was home alone, but Jim would be home any minute now. Groaning in annoyance, I got up from the couch where I had almost fallen asleep and opened the door. “Go away”, I said immediately and tried to close the door. It was Daniel. He stopped the door with his foot. “I just want to talk, Val”, he smiled in an unsettling way and pushed the door open, making me stumble a couple steps back. “I’ve told you not to call me that”, was the only thing I could think of saying. He just laughed. 

“Sit down”, he demanded. “Get out”, I hissed through my teeth. “You think you can talk back to me just ‘cause we’re divorced?” he challenged me, grabbing my upper arm too hard and dragged me to the couch. “What do you want?” I forced myself to ask, disgustingly feeling myself adjust back to the way I acted when we were married. “I just want to talk”, he said, touching my arm, gently this time. “Don’t touch me”, I spat, but couldn’t look at him. 

“I’m sorry, okay? If you come back, it won’t happen again. I love you, you know that”, he lied. “Daniel, please leave”, I begged, unconsciously scooting away from him. “Valerie—”

“I’m serious, get out! I’m getting a restraining order against you”, I snapped, standing up. His expression changed and he got up as well. “You wouldn’t do that”, he said, his voice dark. “You need to leave.” I put an arm out to keep him at a distance, but he swatted it away and pushed me against the wall. “Let go”, I whispered pleadingly. 

“You know better, Val. You listen to me. You do not speak back, and you know it so well.” He shoved me harshly when I tried getting out of his grip and held me in place by my shoulders, standing too close for me to move any more. I bit the inside of my cheek to force back my tears. I wouldn’t cry in front of him. I couldn’t. “You’re hurting me”, I winced at his too tight grip on my upper arms.

A sound that always made me happy, calmed me down. I could hear Jim’s car pulling up outside. “Jim’s here”, I mumbled, smiling. It would be okay. Soon, I realized that had been a stupid thing to say out loud. “You’re mine, you don’t belong here”, Daniel hissed and slapped me. “You’re disgusting”, I shot back and tried to push him away again, earning myself another slap before he slammed me against the wall again.

“Hey, baby— _What the hell?”_ Jim roared when he walked through the door. He crossed the room in a second and pulled Daniel off of me. “You get out of here, _right now_ , and don’t even try coming near her again, she’s getting a restraining order”, he warned, holding onto the front of his shirt. “Val, come on—” “Do _not_ speak to her.” Jim led him to the door and pushed him outside, locking the door. 

Then he turned to me. “Are you okay?” he asked, walking towards me and cupped my face. I nodded and he took hold of my chin instead, looking closely. “Your cheek is red. Did he hit you?” he asked, his voice gentle, but his eyes dark. “He just slapped me. I’m okay, Jim”, I assured him, placing a hand on his cheek. “You don’t have to lie to me about that”, he whispered, stroking my hair. “I’ll be okay”, I corrected myself. We sat down on the couch and, for a while, he just held me. I didn't cry. I didn't speak and neither did he. I just let myself be comforted by the feeling of being safe in his arms. 

—

 _In October_ , I got a restraining order. Jim had a run-in with Daniel at the trailer one day after that when I wasn’t home. Apparently, Daniel had showed up, thinking I was at home, but I was at work and Jim just happened to have a day off. He wouldn’t tell me what happened, but he was fairly certain Daniel would stay away. I was a little worried, but Jim wasn’t physically hurt, so I let it go. All I wanted was to have Daniel out of my life.

Things calmed down and everything felt normal. We both settled down and life consisted of both routine and fun for a couple of weeks.

—

Then came _November_ , and I got a horrible phone call from Jim on the first Monday of the month. I was still at home, waiting to leave for work; I had a late shift that day.

“Hello?”

_“Hey, Val, it’s me.”_

“What’s going on?” I asked, sensing that something was wrong.

_“Will’s been gone since last night.”_

“What? Are you serious?”

_“Don’t panic yet, we don’t know what’s happened, okay? I just wanted you to hear it from me.”_

“Oh, okay. Where’s Joyce?”

_“At home, I think. She was down here earlier.”_

“Alright. Love you, bye.” I hung up before he could say anything, and hurried out of the door. I wasn’t going to let Joyce be alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if someone knows when hopper's birthday is and i've gotten it wrong, please tell me so that i can correct it!!


	14. Everything Hawkins Was Not Supposed To Be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sooo sorry it's been forever since i posted!!!
> 
> also this chapter is nsfw at the end, have fun;))

“Joyce!” I called out, knocking on her door. “Are you there?” Her car was there, so I knocked again. _“Bitch!”_ she suddenly exclaimed loudly, making me jump. A second later, she opened the door. “Oh, Val, thank god”, she said and gave me a quick hug before walking over to the phone, calling someone. 

“Hi, Jonathan”, I smiled sadly when I saw him sitting in the couch. “Hi”, he said and turned back to something he was working on. I looked at Joyce who was very angry. “Lonnie, some teenager just hung up on me. Will is… he’s missing, I don’t know where he is. Please, just— I just need you to call me back. Can you—” She was cut short by the beeping of the answering machine. She had told me about Lonnie. That bastard. “Damn it!” she yelled, slamming the phone in place. “He’ll call back”, I assured her and then turned my attention to Jonathan who had stood up from the couch. “Cops”, he said and I looked to see Jim’s Blazer and a regular police car. 

Joyce and Jonathan rushed outside, I followed behind. “Val”, Jim stated, only slightly confused by my presence and walked behind his car, reappearing with a bike. “That’s Will’s bike”, Joyce pointed out immediately. “Where did you find it?” Jonathan asked urgently. “The kids call it Mirkwood, was that it?” Jim looked at Callahan who nodded before continuing. “It’s where Cornwallis and Ker—” “I know, I know”, Joyce interrupted him. “It was lying on the side of the road. Looked like he crashed it”, Jim explained, and Joyce’s eyes widened. “Let’s go inside”, I whispered calmly to her, opening the door when she had nodded. I let everyone get inside, but held Jim back. “Be gentle. She’s a wreck already”, I told him, a hand on his arm. “I know, sweetheart”, he said and gestured for me to walk inside first with a hand on my back, closing the door behind himself.

“Was there any blood, or—” Joyce began. “No, no, no, nothing like that”, Jim tried to keep her calm. “If you found the bike out there, why are you here?” Jonathan asked, a tad bit aggressively. “We’re investigating possible timelines. He could’ve come home”, Jim trailed, taking a look around as if he hadn’t been there before. “Wh— You don’t think I checked _my own house_?” Joyce spoke loudly. “That’s not what I’m saying… Has this always been there?” He trailed his fingers over a small hole in the wall. “I… I don’t know, but, come on, I have two boys. Look at this place!” 

Their dog started barking in the backyard and didn’t seem to be stopping. Jim went outside, pet it briefly before heading towards the shed it had been barking at. “He’s probably just hungry”, Joyce mumbled as she tugged him inside. I sent Jim a small, loving smile and then I went inside, too, not wanting to get in the way of his work.

“Joyce”, I attempted to catch her attention, as she was just aimlessly walking around the living room. “Joyce!” I tried again and her head snapped towards me. “They’re gonna do their very best to find Will. You know that, right?” I asked her to calm her down. I exaggerated my breathing to get her to calm hers without having to tell her. “Yeah, I know”, she sighed and her breathing started to become similar to mine. I heard Callahan call for Jim, giving up after yelling “Chief!” the eighth time. Joyce sat down next to Jonathan in the couch and I decided to keep my distance, sitting down at the kitchen table. Heavy steps made their way inside, and Jim announced that they would be putting together a search party with as many volunteers as possible. 

—

I stayed with Joyce and Jonathan for a little while after Jim, Callahan and Powell left, and then I went back to the trailer to change. I was joining the search party and it could get really cold at night in Hawkins during November. Jim wasn’t surprised at all when I said I’d be joining. He only told me that he’d pick me up at the trailer a little while before it started.

I hadn’t really thought about how early it got dark, but I couldn’t seem to focus on anything else when I got out of the car, just outside of the forest we’d be searching in. “Flashlight”, Jim said, handing me one. “Just stay close to me, okay?” he said seriously and if it hadn’t been for the look in his eyes, I would’ve made a joke about how we were just going into a forest, not Mordor. I just nodded, turning my flashlight on. 

Everyone called for Will, and I got a little nervous. I wasn’t scared for me, I was scared for Will. What had happened to him? For all I knew, he could be lying dead in a ditch, and that made my pulse quicken and my voice stronger the next time I called his name. In the background, I registered Jim talking to one of Will’s teachers, Scott Clarke, but didn’t really pay attention until he mentioned a certain name. “Sara, my daughter… Galaxies, the universe, whatnot… She always understood that stuff. I always figured there’s enough going on down here, I never needed to look anywhere else.”

I slowed down slightly so that I was next to him, making him aware of my presence by grazing his hand with mine. “Your daughter, what grade is she in? Maybe I’ll get her in my class”, Scott asked casually and Jim grabbed my hand. Even though his grip told me this was difficult, he managed to keep his voice calm. “No, she, uh… She lives with her mom in the city”, he said, making me take a deep breath to prevent myself from reacting. I wanted to cry at that; the fact that he held on to Sara by telling someone she was just living somewhere else. “Thanks for coming out, Clarke. Really appreciate it”, he said, let go of my hand and quickened his pace, walking away. 

I quickly thought through if I should tell him, and settled on ‘yes’ so that no one else did it. “She… She died a few years ago”, I told him quietly. “Sorry?” he asked, a little stunned. “Sara. His daughter”, I made it clear. “Oh, I’m so sorry, I— I didn’t know”, he apologized, but I shook my head, sending him a small smile. “Exactly, you didn’t know. It’s okay. Really”, I assured him, touching his arm lightly before walking a little faster. 

—

The search kept going all night and after a short break, we were on it again, this time near some cliffs I hadn’t seen before. I stood close to the edge, looking down at the water far below. “Woah, woah, get back. Can’t have you falling in”, Jim said and gently pulled me back by my elbow. I chuckled lightly. “What about Callahan, then?” I asked, pointing to where he stood on the other side of Jim, even closer to the edge than me. “Jesus, get back. I need you alive for the next few days”, Jim sighed. “I could survive that”, Callahan shrugged, making me lift my eyebrows and Jim chuckle. “You fall from this height, that water turns into cement”, he said, clapping his hands together to emphasize it. “George Burness made the jump! He was drunk off his ass, did it on a $10 bet”, Callahan claimed. “I don’t know this George, but I’m pretty sure he’s a liar”, I smirked, successfully shutting up Callahan. For a second, Jim almost looked proud before he received a call on his radio, and I walked away.

“Tell Jim I’m picking up some food at Benny’s, okay?” I asked Powell when I passed him on the way to my car. Jim drove me to the trailer so that I could get it a couple hours ago so that I wouldn’t be dependent on him to get anywhere. “You got it, Simmons”, he smiled. “Thanks!” I called out as I got into my car. The weather was nice and there wasn’t really any traffic, so I let the drive help me disconnect from reality for just a little while.

“Hey, Benny!” I spoke when I opened the door, and scrunched my eyebrows at both the fact that it was completely quiet and that it smelled strange. When I turned away from the direction of the counter, my eyes landed on Benny, slumped over on one of the tables. “B… B-Benny”, I stuttered, taking a small step towards him. “Please, no”, I begged silently and walked up to him. I almost threw up at the sight. A bullet hole on the side of his head. Flies buzzing around it. “No, no, no, no. Benny, please, no, Benny”, I rambled, tears running down my face. There was a gun in his hand. “Suicide”, I whispered. “Suicide?” It didn’t make sense and it didn’t look right. I felt myself panicking, but I forced myself to find a phone. “Phone. Phone, where’s the phone?” I muttered to myself, taking a few steps back and jumped when I hit a chair. In the back. I let out a hysterical sob and then I spotted it. Desperately, I grabbed the receiver. My hands were shaking, and I got the number to the station wrong on the first try. “Fuck!” I screamed, slamming the receiver down before picking it up again. In through the nose, out through the mouth. In through the nose, out through the mouth. I managed to stay just calm enough to dial, and then I felt panic take over again.

_“Hawkins police station, Flo speaking.”_

“F-Flo. Flo, it’s me. It’s Valerie”, I cried, trying to control my sobs.

_“What’s happening? Where are you, sweetheart?”_

“Benny’s. I need— I need Jim here right now.”

_“Valerie, can you tell me what’s happened?”_

“Flo, please, it’s— it’s bad. He’s d— Benny— I need Jim.”

_“Hold on a second, sweetheart, I’ll radio him.”_ I heard her moving and sighed of slight relief when I heard her speaking into the radio. _“Hey, Chief, I’ve got Valerie on the line at Benny’s. You better get over there. It’s bad. She’s panicking, you need to hurry.”_

“He’ll be here soon”, I mumbled, starting to get over the initial shock.

_“That’s right, Valerie. He’ll be there soon. Will you be okay?”_

“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll be okay”, I said and hung up. I let my knees go out, dropping to a squat on the floor. I put all my energy into trying to calm myself through my breathing, but was still pretty shaken up when I suddenly heard the door open. I stood up and walked towards it. My body was still shaky and my eyes wide. I looked at Jim. “I’ve… I’ve never seen a…” I trailed off and Jim walked over to me. He pulled me into a tight hug, restricting my view so that I couldn’t look at Benny. “I’m sorry, he was y-your friend, I’m sorry, are you okay?”

“Don’t you worry about me”, he mumbled against my head before pulling away. What a typical thing of him to say. “Go outside and wait for me, okay?” he told me while holding my upper arms. He kept my body turned away from Benny as he guided me out and I was grateful for that, but I couldn’t help but turn my head towards him as I opened the door. I let out a choked sob. “Don’t look, baby”, Jim whispered. I could tell he was sad. 

The cool, crisp autumn air calmed me down even more and I tried to steer my mind away from what had happened inside. What was going on with Hawkins? It was supposed to be a town where nothing happened. And now… Will missing and Benny dead. I leaned against the wall and pulled out a cigarette and my lighter. My hands still shaking, I struggled to light it, but managed eventually. I took a deep drag. 

By the time Jim came outside, I was halfway done with my third cigarette in a row. “You alright?” he asked and just from those two short words, I could hear he was struggling. “Yeah, considering. Are you?” I asked him. “Mhm”, he confirmed. Not that I believed him, but I wouldn’t pry. He was at work and we were in public. I didn’t want to make it harder for him than necessary. 

“Please come home tonight”, I said, sounding slightly more desperate than intentional. “I will, sweetheart. Now, go home, okay? I’ll be there”, he assured me, kissing my forehead. “I’m gonna check in on Joyce first”, I told him. “Good idea. See you tonight, Val.” 

I sent him a small wave as I walked to my car. Before driving off, I took a few deep breaths to calm myself as much as possible. On my way to Joyce’s house, I felt quite distant and it almost felt as if I was dreaming. I shook it off before I knocked on the door.

“Who is it?” Joyce called out, sounding scared. “It’s Valerie”, I told her. I let myself in when she said that the door was open. She was sitting in a chair with her phone on her lap. 

“What’s going on?” I asked her, confused. 

“I… Will. He called, I could hear his breathing”, she said, her eyes wide and voice shaky. 

“What? Joyce, what are you talking about?”

“I heard him, a-and then the phone exploded. It was him, I know it. It was his breathing!”

“Did he say anything?” My heart was beating fast, hoping so goddamn much that it had actually been Will.

“No, but, I _know_ it was him, okay? I know my own son’s breathing.”

“Have you told Jim?”

“Yeah. He just said it was probably a prank call and that the storm had fried it”, she sulked and I crouched down in front of her.

“You know he’s a cop. He has to follow the most likely lead. I’m not saying this was nothing, but, right now, our best hope is searching for Will in the woods, okay?”

Joyce sighed. “I know… I just want my boy back. My little boy.” Her voice became small and tears filled her eyes. 

“Oh, I know, of course. You’ll get him back. I have a feeling he’s not far away”, I smiled reassuringly at her. 

“Thank you, Val. You should go home, get some rest. I know you didn’t sleep much last night.” She was such a mother. Even in times like this, she cared about others.

“You get some sleep, too, Joyce. You need it”, I told her as I stood up and walked towards the door. She brushed it off, but I decided not to mention it again. I wouldn’t have been able to sleep either. 

Once I was inside the trailer, I brought my hands to my face and thought through everything that had happened. I wished it were a dream. I poured myself a bowl of cereal and ate it slowly before dropping down on the couch, curling up under a blanket. Even though it was only seven at night, I let myself drift off. 

—

Soft touches woke me up. “What are you doing?” I asked when I saw Jim sitting on the floor in front of the couch, gently caressing my face. “You’re a sight for sore eyes”, he mumbled, pressing kisses on my forehead, cheeks and nose before our lips finally met. 

“Getting any closer?” I asked him and sat up. He slumped down next to me, putting his arm around me. Instinctively, I scooted as close to him as possible, my head resting on the side of his chest and one hand fiddling with the chest pocket on his uniform.

“Joyce got a phone call.”

“Yeah, she told me about it.”

“It’s weird, but… Honestly, I think it’s nothing. I mean, breathing?”

“I know. But, can you blame her?”

“‘Course not. She’s out of it. Any normal parent would be.”

“I hope you find him soon. But, on the other hand, I’m scared you’ll just find his body in a ditch or something”, I sighed, clenching my hand tightly around the fabric of his uniform. He placed his hand on top of mine, making me grab onto that instead. I closed my eyes at the feeling of him drawing soothing circles on the back of my hand.

“I am too. But don’t think like that, it makes it worse, baby.”

“I know. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.”

“You always say that”, I smirked.

“Well, you say sorry too much”, he chuckled, kissing the top of my head.

“Sorry”, I teased him, hoping he’d laugh. And he did. I loved that sound. Everytime he laughed, my heart just swelled with love. In pure adoration, I placed a kiss to the side of his neck. Then another, longer one, and I felt his arm around me tighten. Pleased with his reaction, I continued kissing up and down his neck. He grabbed onto my hips, pulling me onto his lap. I bit my lip, smiling at him.

“I love you”, he grinned, moving his hands to my waist, squeezing lightly. “Love you, too”, I told him and cupped his face, kissing him. Our lips moved together slowly, yet passionately. I let my hands trail until they were tangled in his hair. I tugged gently, and a he let out a tiny gasp, tightening his grip on my waist. He pulled me down against his lap and I felt his growing member against my, still clothed, heat. I moaned into his mouth, grinding down on him, earning a deep groan from him.

His lips went to my neck, making me breathe heavily when he quickly found my sweet spot. Quite dazed, I still managed to find the front of his uniform and started unbuttoning it. I was interrupted by him getting a good grip on my ass, and I knew what was coming. As he stood up, I tightened my legs around him. As he had done so many times before, he carried me to bed and put me down gently. When he was kissing me again, I went back to finish the last two buttons, and pushed the uniform off his shoulders. He shrugged it off completely, leaving him in a white undershirt that I pulled off him immediately. I ran my hands over his chest and stomach, loving the feeling of his skin under my hands. Before leaning back down to kiss me, he took hold of the bottom of my shirt. I lifted my body to let him pull it off, and then I tugged him down to me. 

His hand snuck under me and I lifted my back to make it easier for him to unhook my bra. Without pulling away from the kiss, I got my bra off, throwing it to the floor, moaning when he cupped one of my boobs with a calloused hand. Arching into his touch, I gently clawed down his back and he pinched my nipple, making me gasp. I moved one of my hands down and cupped his erection through his clothes. He grunted, grinding into my hand and I only removed it to unbutton his pants. “Oh, god”, he moaned when I slipped my hand down his boxers and began moving my hand up and down his length. His mouth moved to my neck again and then he sat up.

Almost in a hurry, he unbuttoned my jeans and pulled them off me and stood up next to the bed, taking his pants off. Before he could get back on top, I sat up and he took my point, sitting down with his back against the wall. I straddled him, grinding down on him, shivering in lust. His hands squeezed my thighs, and then one of them moved to cup my warmth through my panties. “So wet for me, baby”, he whispered, making me let out something between a whimper and a moan. I took my panties off and pulled his boxers down, desperate to feel him inside me.

I positioned myself so that I felt his tip at my entrance, and he eased me down with his hands on my hips. I held onto his shoulder to support myself. “Jim”, I whispered lovingly when he was completely inside of me. For a few seconds, I sat still before I moved my hips slightly, drawing moans from us both. I slowly began moving up and down, Jim supporting some of my weight. Getting into a rhythm, I relished in the feeling of being so close to him and I let out incoherent moans of pleasure. I let my head rest in the crook of his neck, breathing heavily and occasionally leaving kisses. Jim’s lips found my neck and I moaned loudly when I felt him working on a hickey. His teeth grazed lightly over my skin, making me gasp his name. 

As my climax neared, I moved faster and Jim thrust his hips up slightly to meet mine. Jim was getting close to, I could tell by his increasing volume. I rolled my hips with each thrust, and cried out in pleasure from the spots he was hitting inside me. 

“I’m gonna cum”, I let him know, my voice unsteady. He held on to me even tighter, meeting my hips harshly and I loved it. I rested my forehead against his, staring into his eyes and felt my climax rolling over me like a wave. My walls clenched around him as I cried out his name and I let out a loud moan as I felt him cum inside of me. I thanked myself for getting on the pill; I loved that feeling. He moaned my name and kissed me deeply before pulling away, letting us both catch our breaths. 

Completely spent, I didn’t move an inch and when Jim eventually lifted me so that he slipped out of me, I let out a groan. Holding me tight to his body, he shifted so that we were lying down, me almost completely on top of him. His skin against mine felt like pure bliss and I sighed happily before feeling myself drifting off into a peaceful sleep.


End file.
